We have an infant son who spent this past Saturday night at Grandma's. We both work F/T and i'm in school and have a class wed. night so I thought it would be good to go to dinner saturday night. due to last minute reservations, the earliest they could seat us was 9:15pm. He refused to go because of the time. Mind you, he was off work the next day AND today...I was so pissed I began to cry. He NEVER wants to do hardly anything on the weekend and acts like doing anything after 7pm is a crime. He has no friends and doesnt do anything but work , sleep, and watch tv. He just got a great promotion at work and makes good $$, but I am miserable because our social life SUCKS!! We don't do anything socially and I have fantasies about being with other men. We have not been intimate since last year - and when he attempts to, maybe once every 2 weeks, i reject his advances. This is my 2nd marriage and I feel like its headed toward divorce. Should I even be mad he didn't want to go to dinner?
2007-02-12 09:07:30 · 4 answers · asked by pumperola 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes you should be mad. And you should explain to him why you are upset. and that 7 pm is not a magic number for sleep, but that 9:15 could have had him hooked up for hours.
You should also talk with him about alternatives to how your weekend ended. You should also talk to him about taking your needs into consideration.
Now as far as withholding sex...I think that is a crock of warm ****. You are married and love each other. You should never not have sex with him and he should never keep that good stuff from you. That is a sure way to get divorced again.
Did you know that 2nd marriages have a 60% chance of failing, and that 3rd marriages have a 70% chance of failing? Sex for men is like air. If you hubby can't breathe with you, he's going to breathe with someone else.
And at least he's only asking once every 2 weeks. He could be asking twice every day. I know I did, and I still couldn't get enough of her.
When my wife started holding out, I took it as a complete rejection of me as a man. Most men will, too. When she started holding out physically, I started holding out emotionally. And after a while I didn't care if we did it or not. When she finally asked for a divorce, her 3rd, I was more upset about how my son would adjust then I ever was about her leaving me. Think about that the next time he mentions the 3rd position of the Karma Sutra.
P.S. Yeah, he messed up.
2007-02-12 12:28:32 · answer #1 · answered by Lemar J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger is continually a secondary emotion and this one is common to study, he were given indignant because he felt responsible. and also you're harm because you had hopeful expectations (from someone you admit isn't a "prince beautiful") So, tell him he's off the hook for Valentine's this 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. you want him and basically because you obtain him a present would not advise he has to get you one. in reality! you'll bypass figuring out to purchase and get your self precisely what you want! Then he's off the hook, he would not must be mad because he grow to be thoughtless, and also you do not must be disappointed because you've been disillusioned. Re-regulate your expectations with this guy, it would not sound like he will make your romantic fantasies come actual. :( quite of a "Valentine" second, how about a "i love You Welcome domicile" second? dress impressive, make him a stunning dinner, supply him a touch present, seduce him....it might properly be more beneficial advantageous than Vanentine's. Why keep each and each and every of the sweet stuff for one chilly day in Feb.?
2016-12-04 02:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your not going to like what I am about to say. But do you not take the marriage vows serious? Its for better or for worse. Maybe as your finances are in order and he can back off some of those hours in the future you two can have some of your time back. I don't blame him for trying to build a nest egg and the only cost is your social life. But here you are punishing him for being a good provider.
How many of you ladies want this hard working man? raise your hands
2007-02-12 13:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by Kill_Me_Now! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry, if I was you I'd think he just didn't love me because he doesn't seem to want to spend free/recreational time with me. Yes, be angry about Wednesday....and realise that you have been very angry for a long time.....no sex since last year!
Doing pleasurable things together, including good sex keeps you both together.
Try telling him it is now very, very serious.
In any case, decision time for you Babe.
All the best.
2007-02-14 11:09:12 · answer #4 · answered by heartbreak52 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋