prefers to live with the father close by (5 mins) and the son has developed problems in school recently, (teacher and counselor are concerned) has voiced his not liking the boyfriend, would it be better for the child to be removed from the upsetting situation and go live with the supportive father?
2007-02-12 08:53:49 · 14 answers · asked by RealEYES 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree, yes. Children need stability, need one on one time with mom and dad, and the boyfriend represents a threat to both. There is no way to convince a child otherwise. Basically, mom is sending a message to her own son that he is a low priority in life...if I were the boy, I would think "How can this new man just come along and mess with our family? Does my mom love this man more than me?" Mom needs to put child as absolute number 1 priority. If mom can't do that, son needs to go stay with dad. As a high school teacher, I can definitely say that bad things happen when children feel unwanted.
2007-02-12 09:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a possibility that the child sees the boy friend as competition and may be fighting to keep sole "possession" of his mother. If so, somehow he's gotten the idea that he can be displaced and that's not good. It is very bad for the child to learn that he can get his way by manipulation--very bad. So, if you examine the situation and are absolutely, positively sure there is no valid reason for the child to fear the bf (have they ever been alone together and did the child's behavior change after?) then the child needs help that moving to the father's place will not provide. Get the child the help he needs. Have the problems at school developed since the arrival of the bf?
2007-02-12 09:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the situation. It could be that the boy just doesn't like the idea of his mom being with another guy, maybe he thought that his parents would get back together. ANd by trying to get rid of the boyfriend it opens up a chance for that to happen.
Maybe it isn't the boy and it is the boyfriend that is causing the problem as far as doing something he shouldn't, in which case the mom needs to step in and take care of the situation. If she doesn't then I see no reason why the boy can't be with thte father.
Good luck!
2007-02-12 09:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Angela K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never leave my kids for a bf. Men come an go, My children will always be there for me, unconditionally. Especially my son, who I know will always be the one man to really care for me. Men come and go, when u get old and wrinkle the only ones who will be there are ur family.
I would find out what the problem is and if the bf has done anything to cause the child to dislike him. If he is showin out and the school staff is concerned then my guess is that something really bad has transpired between them. Maybe u should leave bf behind and focus on ur baby.
2007-02-12 09:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by RR77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the child dislikes the boyfriend that much...DUMP THE FRIGGIN' BOYFRIEND!! The child may have a good reason not to like him. If he is that upset, then something is wrong. If you cannot get rid of the boyfriend, then yes, let the child go live with dad.
2007-02-12 08:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by Bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why not. Why does the boy not like him. The boyfriend's role when the child needs punishment is to bring it back to the boys mother. IE " I dont think your mother would like that".
Perhaps, this kid doesn't like a man coming into his mothers life,.which is no reason to be removed from the home.
2007-02-12 08:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You leave out the option of continuing to live with mom and doing what needs to be done to get along with boyfriend. Pulling the kid out of this situation, absent abuse, teaches him the wrong lesson - walk away when the going gets tough.
2007-02-12 08:57:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The boyfriend should be removed but if you choose to be selfish than yes the child should be removed.
2007-02-12 10:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everything was ok with the child before bf, and he doesn't like the bf, maybe you should think about that. Maybe talk to the boy and find out why he doesn't like the bf. Maybe there's something that happened that you don't know about.
2007-02-12 09:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DITCH THE BOYFRIEND. No one should put a guy before their kids. If the kids don't like him, the person shouldn't be with him.
2007-02-12 09:27:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋