Does anyone know a clinical term to define a psychosis by which a jealous mother treats her daughter poorly?

Question

I'm looking for a clinical term so I can find more information - the situation is a mother feeling jealous of a fathers affection for a child and in turn treating the child very poorly. Verbal and physical abuse become the norm - which the mother attempts to hide from the father through manipulation of the child.

The insights of everyone have been very helpful so far, but I wanted to clarify some things - the individual has grown up and is now in her late 20s (Lets call her Jane).
She exhibits very low self esteem (despite being a successful professional) but her mother no longer remembers acting out in the manner that she did (selective amnesia?).
Others around Jane remember a turbulent childhood and recall feeling sorry for her. She recalls instances of relatives attempting to intercede on her behalf.
Jane has two siblings - both of whom are younger. Jane made it a point to shelter the younger siblings from the mothers abusive behavior when growing up.
I am currently dating Jane - and I can imagine spending my life with her - but I wanted to understand what it is that her mother went through (she now acts like a classic 'nice mom') so I can figure out how to help Jane. Plus I'm a little scared of this behavior cropping up if we decide to have children

Answer 1

In your investigation, consider:

Malignant Narcissism - wherein the totally self-absorbed narcissist does not possess empathy or true caring for others, even their children, and only cares that others enhance the life of the narcissist. The narcissist is quick to take offence, and will be highly manipulative and jealous. Also consider,

Borderline Personality Disorder - especially the issues of Attachment/Abandonment fears that are irrationally expressed when the person is not receiving the sole attention from a significant other, and the fear expresses in hostile anger. Also use the search engine for

"Morbid Jealousy."

Answer 2

My mother has told me all my life that her mother treated her terribly was jealous of her my mom had 8 siblings from two previous marriages her mother had they do not have a relationship at all my mom has low self esteem but she tried her best to care for all her children. I also have a girlfriend whose mother was jealous of her when she was little locked her in closets and beat her for not washing her hair good enough but she has a younger brother who was adored by her mom , my friend is still a mess from what het mother did to her, but her mom is still sick I know this because I have been a victim myself . I would feel that I had to be polite at there home and say hello she had started to warm up to me a little bit and I was working at a department store she came up there with her daughters baby I held the baby while we chatted about clothes she made her purchase and left a couple of days later my friend called me and asked me about a silver watch I recalled sitting on the china cabinet, it was missing her mother said I took it I was humiliated and flabbergasted that she would do such a psychotic thing . My friend begged me to just give it back of course the watch magically reappeared I have never been so insulted and her parents watch her son a lot. She has been sweet as pie lateley but I will never trust her I think she needs help

Answer 3

I wish I could have a concrete answer for you, but she doesn't seem to neatly fit into any category, like depression, schizophrenia, etc. If she were to go into a psychologist's office, she may be given the diagnosis of "Parent-Child Relational Problem," "Partner Relational Problem," or "Physical Abuse of Child." Or it could be a personality disorder, like Paranoid Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's kind of hard to tell based upon one paragraph. Either way, the entire family needs help right away. Forget the diagnosis and labels, this is a serious situation that needs to be addressed before something really horrible happens.

Answer 4

It definitely sounds like borderline personality disorder. Mothers w/ BPD often have no memory of the things that they have done. They may be prone to physical and verbal abuse. BPD women may become very jealous of any attention given to a child, and do anything in their power to correct what they feel is wrong.

Children that have been abused by a BPD mother (especially girls) may grow up to Have BPD. Jane may possibly be what can be called a borderline waif.

Please look up the book UNDERSTANDING THE BORDERLINE MOTHER BY CHRISTINE ANN LAWSON.

I have read the book and found it to be very informative and worth the money.

Answer 5

Paranoid Personality Disorder describes this type of person in the DSM IV..They are bitter,resentful, very rigid, secretive, they cannot stand to be taken advantage of as it displays weakness. They easily become defensive and are envious of other people. Narcissistic is another description. Many times these personality types will not allow others to be individuals and their lives completely enmeshed with the other subject. They cannot stand to be seen as less attractive, intelligent etc...totally insecure.Pathological and never find fulfillment in their own accomplishments or achievements and feed off of other people's achievements. Yet, they are self centered and have only their self interests in mind.

They are manipulative and prefer people who are compliant and dependent. The child cursed with this type of mother or father, is in trouble and lives a nightmarish exsistence, and never have real love.

Answer 6

Munchausen syndrome is when you pathologically fake illnesses for attention. As for the original question, a cursury look did not turn up an answer.

Answer 7

I have no answer for you, however, I am in a state of utter shock reading this, as it is the exact story of my own life. The only thing different is the age. Wow. If you would like to email me, please feel free. I would be interested in finding out this information myself. Thank you.

Answer 8

I don't know the name of it but that would be one hell of a Psychotic mom!!! God forbid that any mom would be like that. I don't believe the father would not know about it. No way!

Answer 9

I think it's called Munchhausen syndrome by proxy.

Answer 10

I had one. Paranoia, and violence are part of it. Pathological lying, and deep belief of martyrdom coupled with manipulation and devious abuse.

Or just evil as as hell.