Things to do when moving on?

Question

Any specific hobbies or interests any of you guys have found that really helped you to move on? I'm seeing a therapist to hash out issues I have to strengthen me. There has got to be something else besides work. Its a good distraction, but not something I look forward to.

Answer 1

Been there, so maybe this will help.

I packed up and left a cheating husband.... moved out of the state. Took my stuff, my dogs, bought a house, and tore it apart. As I was driving here, I made a list of things I would do the first year away and free of him.
1. I would keep a diary, and reflect on my life --- rather like early memoirs.... In retrospect, it was at times sad, recalling my parents, past pets, horses, college, and a few of my errors.. On the whole, however, it was informative, and I got to remember fun times of photographing in Africa, seeing Egypt, and riding elephants in Nepal.
2.. Since I had had as a hobby, bronze sculpture, I was determined to bring one piece all the way from clay to bronze... In fact, I brought two all the way from clay to bronze.
3. I was determined to read four non-fiction books on some subjects I knew little about.. and did so
4. Remodel this house.
5. Was determined to begin a search for an appropriate partner, and find a man willing to at least wish to be in a committed relationship. Marriage? well, maybe.... but not soon...

Since I made the list, I was determined to get it done.

1.I began and ended the memoir on the same date one year apart. I did not write in it every day, but tried to.
2. The two bronzes were finished, and several of each have sold.
3. Read 5 books, all great.
4. The house got finished. It did take a year...
5. Got up enough courage to date, and to put up an ad on Yahoo Personals..... got lots of inappropriate notes --- biker guys, and I have a masters, so got lots of notes that were totally inappropriate. And met some really nice men too.... some I wanted to see again, but they were uninterested, and some wanted to see me again, and I was not interested. but did find the prince.... we have been together for almost 2 years.

It takes two years to get over a marriage, even if it was a bad one, or a tragic one.... but all of us have a center core of our essential nature, and of a wish to find contentment... I believe evolution made us wish to be partnered, and so for most of us, being alone isn't ideal.... at the same time, it is more complicated to be partnered..... it means giving up total independence, and putting someone else before one's self. Those of us who like having a companion do so willingly and lovingly. Those who don't always find something the matter with every one they date..... But if one realized that they themselves are not perfect, the other person is not perfect, and the two of them together will not be perfect, and if they each strive to solve problems without rage and resentment, and remain open and communicative, life can be good.... as it should be.

Did this help????

Answer 2

What do YOU love to do? Do you have children? The best thing to do when you are moving on is to re-discover yourself. Now is a good time to take as much time as you can to do the things you love. It may take you a while to find your "happy place"...that thing that makes the rest of your life and problems fade into the background. When my husband was sick (we're talking about near death here), I spent every free minute I could find in my garden...looking, weeding, planning, dreaming and doing. For me it was a place of peace and beauty.
This may not be your thing. If you're not sure what yours is, try all sorts of things. What did you love to do when you were young that has perhaps been put on the proverbial "back-burner" for a time? Now would be a good time to rediscover that.

Also, make a commitment to get some exercise three times per week. Even if you think you hate exercising...try cycling, a team sport, a yoga class...not only is it good for your body, which translates to better self-esteem, but the endorphins released by your brain give you an almost instant feeling of peace and well-being.
I also took up weight training and the elliptical at the gym during this time. It took a while to get consistent about it, but I lost some weight that needed to go, and after a few months, I no longer spent all of my time worrying about my husband! Regular exercise not only made me physically healthier and restored my 20 year old figure, but I just felt better about life in general. More able to cope with the stressors.

Remember, there are no instant solutions. Take a few baby steps, build on them slowly, and trust that in a few months, your whole life will be better.

I'd say "good luck", but it isn't about luck. Take the time you need to be good to yourself, and I can promise it will get better!

Answer 3

Besides being motivated by activities, clubs, church, or hobbies that catch your interest you can find and enjoyed but the the best therapy for me is to stay focused on and keep busy with all the people, family and friends that love you. They too want your heart so they can help and can fill up the emptiness where your heart has a void.....Been there too many times and this always helps me heal.......

Answer 4

Working out definitely helped me - especially when you start to see results. I personally got a personal trainer. At first I thought it may be a waste of money but after working out for a few months with some results the trainer was worth it. Also I got really into wine tasting - do this with friends. Read books - not self help but for entertainment. Before you know it you will be moved on.

Answer 5

When my marriage ended I started working out and eating better. I know it might not sound like a lot, but I felt better about myself, I looked better which is good since you are single now and it is something to pass the time...
I met lots of new friends and still hang out with them to this day and that was 5 years agothat I was divorced. Even though we are all in relationships now, we still get together and do stuff with and without our new significant others.

Answer 6

"Edward Scissorhands" moved me to tears, besides. some thing related to the aggregate of surreal atmosphere and Edward's desolation purely made me prefer to attain into the show and placed across him homestead with me. i'm able to't have self assurance i will confess this, yet observing YouTube movies of canine dancing -- that truthfully extraordinary element the place people carry out elaborately choreographed dances with their canine -- makes me cry like an fool. I have not any explanation, simply by fact it style of feels to be a visceral reaction of a few style. i like canine, however the concept-approximately coaching one to bop good is fully ridiculous to me. My ultimate wager is that i'm moved via the interplay between the canine and his proprietor, simply by fact that is of course in accordance with one hundred% loyalty and mutual affection. besides the indisputable fact that that's the silliest element i've got ever seen. The action picture "The Deep end of the sea" with Michelle Pfeiffer and cope with Williams has a scene that makes me weep, besides the indisputable fact that it is not an of course emotional scene. that's the single the place the abducted son who has been back to the kin he would not even remember tries to coach his mom and dad a Greek dance. it is so extremely joyful, however the Greek song is nearly a subliminal reminder that the guy who raised the boy as his very own is now thoroughly absent from his existence and suffering on my own, someplace else.

Answer 7

Have you turned your life over to God?You can go to many therapists and not get the strength you'll find in the Lord.Who will you talk to when your session with the therapist is over?Who will you talk to when your at home alone,and no one else is there?Who will you talk to when you try to talk to your family,friends,and they can't help you,because they have problems of their own?Change the way you think,and what you think about and you will change your life.

Answer 8

I got to tell you, play with a dating service, even if you're not ready to date. It's fun & informative. I asked a lot of folks why thier marriages ended. It was nice to e-mail chat with others & learn about them. Plus it was nice when someone sends you a wink. It also helps you to know yourself b/c you write a profile about yourself.
Family kept me very busy, my kids & grandson.
Now I'm with a special guy I met on line.

Answer 9

Prayer, the best way is to make sure of yourself is to live the best life you can. Forget about what you can do and do what comes naturally. I promise if you do a little talking to God you will be lead to where it is you need to be, you think I'm kidding now, you'll see...

Answer 10

Take some college classes. Besides learning you will make new friends and perhaps a new love