My husband and I have been seperated for 1 month. We had planned a trip o Disneyland for this weekend that is coming up. Im debating if I should go with him or not. My kids are excited about going. It ws his idea to seperate. I have tried everything for him to come back home. Right now all he thinks about is going out and having fun and partying all night long. Would this be such a good idea if I went. Do you really think this trip may work and we can try to work things out? One of the reasons he said he wanted time was to see if I would change my attitude. Thats what he said. i think he just wanted to be alone so that he can be out all night long how he is doing right now. Please help. thanks
2007-02-12 08:29:03 · 17 answers · asked by Hot MILF 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well... it could bring you two back together, or it could push you further apart from each other. I say go for it.. the kids are excited and it will test your relationship.
2007-02-12 08:32:44 · answer #1 · answered by E 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
I'm suggesting that you not go on this trip if you're only going to try to work things out with your husband. That isn't the time or place to be doing that. If you DO go, make sure it's for the kids sake! But honestly? I would probably NOT go. If something happened, like you guys argued or whatever, that would RUIN the kids time there and would create bad memories of the place.
And honestly? Your husband sounds immature. Doesn't he realize that marriage is a two-way deal? He says he wants to go to see if YOU changed YOUR attitude?? Nuh-uh, I wouldn't put up with that. It works both ways...BOTH people have to work at a marriage and, if needed, both have to learn to adapt/cooperate and change for each other. And how DARE he use the kids trip as a "test" for your relationship! How selfish.
Nah, don't ruin that place for the kids. Just tell him that you're thinking of the KIDS first and that if he wants to work on the marriage or "test" you or WHATEVER, that he needs to do it on his own time...not the kids time or vacation time.
Good Luck, hon. I hope things work out for the best for ALL of you, whether or not that you get back together. Stay strong!
2007-02-15 14:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by Megan V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on the trip with your husband for the kids. Don't expect this trip to cause a reconciliation or you will just be disappointed. It sounds like you're the only one who is interested in getting back together.
Have a good time with the kids, and don't share a bed with him. He left, but he still needs to be a father to your children... he shouldn't get fringe benefits for spending a weekend with his family on a pre-planned trip.
Make this all trip about the kids, maybe if he sees you aren't desperate to get him back he will realize what a idiot he's being. Still - don't expect much from him right now, he is more into himself.
Good Luck!
2007-02-12 16:46:27 · answer #3 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would go for your kids only. This is something they'll remember forever, and you should be a part of it. But on the other hand, it may give your children false hope that you'll get back together. Tough question, but if you want your husband back, I suggest go and see how it is. You may just need to be away with your family and he will see what an idiot he is acting like. You may be right about wanting you to be there so he can go out, but what if he does something ignorant and your children are in danger. I say go and give it a shot.
2007-02-12 16:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes go to disneyland! Have a geat time and DO NOT LET TALK GET SERIOUS! your there to have fun with the kids as a family!! The trip may not "fix" your relationship(actually it won't) but the kids deserve this trip.Your marriage is a seperate issue.Please do not use the kids as a pawn..never talk negative about their other parent...I suggest you get your hubby to counsoling...there are deeper issues then "your attitude" for him to seperate....best of luck
2007-02-12 16:39:09 · answer #5 · answered by getriel1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is most probably just irresponsible, self-absorbed and looking to be 21 again (but with some money, to impress the young chicks). He doesn't want you, otherwise you'd already know it. The KIDS are another story. You should be mature enough, yourself -- to take this trip without him. He should have another room or sleep on a cot. You should go, for the kids (who will have to know their daddy anyway you two decide to split). But, you will be compromised -- and he will have free-reign to go out, looking for fun etc. and do whatever he wants, instead of staying him, being a father and finding things to occupy him around the house (no matter how boring or anxious, it gets).
2007-02-12 16:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he wants to see if you change your attitude !!!!!!
I think he he needs a good shot of grow up and smell the roses.
Don't spoil the trip for the kids go along be nice sleep with the kids.If he wants to talk fine just let him know how you feel and what you expect from him.
Do some thinking on your own
Do I want to be with someone who thinks I have a problem?
Seems you have the responsibilities and he wants to play
Sorry he can't have it both ways
Just think about it I'm sure you will make the right choice.
2007-02-12 16:47:47 · answer #7 · answered by zachsgrammy1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the kids, or let him take the kids, to Disneyland, but don't go with him. Disneyland can be stressful even to a well-adjusted family, and it's no way to help mend your marriage.
Next weekend, drop the kids with their grandparents, or their friend's family, and spend a weekend alone with your husband. Go to a nice quiet little resort, and spend some time just the two of you, see if you can work things out. Then try marriage counseling.
2007-02-12 16:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you should take the kids without him. I would be sad to disappoint the kids since they are looking forward to the trip, but you should definitely not go with him. Sounds like he wants to be the dad for all the fun times and doesn't want the responsibility of everyday parenting. Sounds like you had a family vacation planned, and since he has opted to no longer be part of the family TOUGH. You go and enjoy spending time with your kids.
2007-02-12 16:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by kittymimm 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to see where you stand with him first. If he just wants you to go because 1. money has already been spent and 2. you will be the main caregiver to the kids, let him go without you. But if he wants to work things out and you want to work things out as well, I would say go and enjoy your family and the reconciliation. If he doesn't want to get back together, enjoy your time away from the kids and have "me time" until they return!!!
2007-02-12 16:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by firehairedgoddess06854 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Would you be able to be civil and pleasant to him during the trip?
I know I wouldn't---my resentment would show through and make me short-tempered.
If you can keep a good attitude, You should go for it for the kids' sake.
2007-02-12 16:36:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋