I am not sure if I am adding details to my question correctly or not, but here it goes. I am getting tired of people critisizing me for mentioning my wife's weight. I have tried joining the gym with her, asking her to play in the yard with the kids and I, getting her to walk the dog with me etc. It is not for lack of effort. I have tried talking to her about the lack of intimacy in our relationship and have been called "a girl" for doing so. I have tried to get her off the couch with me to work out on the elyptical she wanted me to buy to no avail. And for the record, I am in shape and took the initiative to lose weight this year which I did lose the 15 pounds I set out to lose. I asked her to join me in those efforts as well but was again told "no." So please reserve judgement on me for mentioning her weight.
2007-02-12 08:24:19 · 10 answers · asked by Jaybo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm with you. Keeping yourself atractive for your spouse IS important. is not about being shalllow, it;s the truth. Sorry people, but being overweight is NOT atractive! I'm a woman and after my son was born I did too ballloned buy gaining forty pounds, but I was doing sit-up the day I left the hospital, and lost the weight in teh course of 6 months. If you let yourself go and stuff yourself with chips on the couch while watching Oprah, don;t expect yoru spouse to jump on your big fat belly and tell you that you are beautiful. If you are overweight, deal with the problem instead of being defesive and in denial.
I don'tcare what people say being physically attracted to your mate IS important, and keeping yourself healthy and atractive is good for you and is good for a marriage. If the person that loves you is telling you that their are concerned about the food addiction, the size 24 clothes and the lack of exercise LISTEN and do something about!!!!! Don;t blame your spouse of being a shallow jerk for not getting tuned on my your giagantic waist line. If there is lack of intimatcy because of your weight, then don;t blame the other person and DO something about it.
Pointing fingers at your spouse is not aerobic execise and is NOT going to make you lose the weight,
2007-02-12 08:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jaybo, I'm feelin' ya and Blunt, thank you too.
We'll all probably get some thumbs down for it, but yes, keeping yourself healthy and attractive to your spouse is an important part of marriage that apparently many people take for granted.
I am delighted to have some company in that point of view and to know that some women actually do realize the importance of it too.
2007-02-12 08:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about your needs sex wise. If she doesn't turn smoking hot for you then you gotta tell her that you need some on the side action if she doesn't mind.
Let her do the housewife thing and then get yourself a hot girlfriend.
And ladies, I don't care if you thumbs down me. I'm just saying whats on everybody mind. You all are two faced anyway about a lot of things. The man is asking for options so this should be a legit option if his wife agrees to it.
2007-02-12 08:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by Billy Bob D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds like no will power for her plus it sounds like she does not want to try because she might fail in the attempt...
If she does not try she won't have to worry about failing..
If she likes shopping got to the mall and look around..
just say hey I'm bored lets go to the mall and look around..
she'll be walking with out knowing she really doing something..
do things with out her really knowing whats she' doing..
plus let her know how much you care about her and let her know she's pretty..build up her self esteem first...take one day at a time..it will take a while...
2007-02-12 08:34:46 · answer #4 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's not her weight but, her utter laziness that's making her so unattractive to you. Honestly, looks don't mean anything but, her behavior is disgusting. And there's nothing wrong with wanting her to feel better about herself--she would be happier and feel better if she was more active.
Is she depressed maybe? Maybe seeing a therapist would be the next step.
2007-02-12 08:50:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you have done everything correctly. I don't know if there is anything left that you can do. She needs to find it in herself to work out. Maybe you could try giving her time away from the kids so that she doesn't feel so tired after taking care of them, that might make her feel more energized to work out.
2007-02-12 08:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by Belle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try telling her that if she doesn't get her *** off the couch and soon, you're afraid that you'll be a widower before fifty when her heart explodes in her face and you'll leave her before you'll let that happen.
2007-02-12 08:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you want to divorce her because of her weight? If she has a weight problem and isn't wanting sex from you it's most likely her insecurity about herself. Maybe you need to suggest a separation if she doesn't want to seek help for herself.
2007-02-12 08:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if she was that way when u met/married her then u really need 2 stop. if she has had kids back 2 back then u really need 2 stop. maybe u need 2 stop throwing it in her face!!! not tryin 2 judge u because i dont know u, but its really not nice at all tellin ur wife that stuff about her weight. when the time is right for her then she will decide to lose it with or without u...
2007-02-12 08:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by Jessie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU AREN'T ATTRACTED TO HER ANYMORE, THEN YOU AREN'T ATTRACTED TO HER ANYMORE.... **** HAPPENS.
MAYBE IT WILL TAKE A DIVORCE FOR HER TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. MAYBE THEN SHE'LL REALIZE APPEARANCE IS IMPORTANT.
2007-02-12 08:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋