My husband of four years had a year long affair with a coworker. We are trying to work things out and things are going....pretty well. But it has been extra difficult because I know all of his coworkers and have known them since I was little because my mom worked for the same company and all of them knew about the affair too so its extra humiliating.
My question is, for Valentines Day, would it be blatantly obvious / tacky if I sent him balloons or something to work. I guess I just wanted to stake out my territory if that makes sense. Does anyone have any ideas?
2007-02-12 07:45:55 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes! They still work together! He is trying to get a promotion out of the office and he had his desk moved away from hers - but yeah, it makes me sick thinking about them seeing each other every day. I have only seen her once since I called her in the middle of the night to confront her and seeing her literally made my legs weak, I thought I would be sick. I know balloons sounds tacky, just was an idea.
2007-02-12 08:04:17 · update #1
Please don't listen to any of the people here who are saying that you should divorce him or anything like that. If you feel that you can deal with it togther and you're okay with that then by all means, stay with him. Marriage needs to start meaning something to people again. And if you are one of the people who actually value your marriage and love your husband then you should stick with your covnvictions and work it out together. I am so happy to hear that someone actually values marriage enough not to give up on it at the first sign of difficult times.
Oh, and about the gift, give him yourself. Tell him that you are his and you will love him no matter what. And don;t tell him you forgive him if you don't really in your heart. Just tell him you are working on being able to forgive him. But make sure no matter what you give him that he still knows you love him. He might think you don't otherwise after something like that.
Good Luck.
2007-02-12 08:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by clbaiz 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't think you should do that. It would be obvious. You shouldn't have to prove anything to any one. You are married to him, so he belongs to you. Does the woman he had an affair with still work there? What a messed up situation. I feel for you. If you send anything to his work people are going to assume that you are trying too hard to make it obvious that he is yours. So they are going to figure things really are not that great between the two of you. You don't want people to think that you are desperate and insecure. Does that make sense? I really feel that you should dump him, but I don't think you will. Not now anyway. I just hope that the next time he cheats you will be able to get rid of him.
2007-02-12 07:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by uuummk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First things first. Does the person he cheated with still work at the company? Are you sure he can keep his um hands? to himself? If you believe that he can I wouldn't Send him balloons, that's kind of a girl thing. I send food we have a place that does the balloon thing but they also offer a cookie batch wrapped instead it's less frilly but it get's the point across. I would also deliver it not have it sent. Show the people he works with that you are a strong woman willing to be the bigger person and fight in a sense for your man.
2007-02-12 08:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to make it obvious that you are your husband are working it out perhaps just go there in person and take him out for lunch or something. Make sure your looking good , happy (all smiles even if it kills you), hold you head high and walk with confidence. Give your husband a kiss and walk hand in hand as you leave the office.
I would lose the balloons though, it kinda sounds tacky. Oh and if husband is not thrilled about any of it, I'd consider dropping him (if anything he should be thrilled ).
2007-02-12 08:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How he let you get humilated like that that is pretty bad. I would send him balloons like the other poster mentioned attached with divorce papers. I don't see how you could stay with someone always wondering if he is going to cheat on you again. It is clear he doesn't love you because if you truly love someone you don't cheat on them. And if it was a big mistake that he cheated on you it wouldn't have lasted that long of a time and i bet you weren't getting none that whole time and if you did wonder who he was thinking about when you guys were doing it. Ask yourself if you are willing to deal with the humiliation for him i bet all of his coworkers think your a fool and by staying with this jerk of a man is not making you look good.
2007-02-12 09:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want to stake out your territory. You shouldn't feel the need to do this. Either you trust him now or you don't. He's a big boy. He knows how to keep his fly zipped, if that's what he wishes to do. No woman is going to say, "Well she sent him balloons, so he's her man. I'll just stay away." If someone is interested, balloons won't scare them off. Your husband needs to say, "No thank you." Be a big girl. Either forgive him, trust him, and move on. Or, just move on. The balloons idea seems like childish nonsense to me.
2007-02-12 07:50:46 · answer #6 · answered by true blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he makes valentines day special than you certainly should. If he takes you out, I suggest you wear a nice, yet sexy dress, with high heel heels--black pumps are hot-and will show off your legs. But underneath, wear a red lingerie set, with a garter belt and seamed stockings. Let a little red lace peek out from your cleavage, and give him a glimpse of your stocking top. Be sure to give him one of those naughty smiles at the same time. He'll be feeling you up under the table, so you should do the same. Later, excuse yourself to the ladies room, and remove your G string. Discretely hand it to him when you get back to the table. I doubt you'll make it home quick enough!
2016-05-24 02:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kind of like someone else's idea of going to the office and taking him out to lunch. I understand where you're going with the balloon thing, but I think it's a little too much. If you do the lunch thing, just get sexied up, and stick out your pride. I think it'll be a little more respected and understood.
Ah, what do I know... but good luck with whatever you do!
2007-02-12 07:54:20 · answer #8 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Keep the Valentine's Day thing low key as far as work is concerned. Celebrate just the two of you. No need to stake a claim to your territory. That won't get you anywhere. You need to rebuild the trust between the two of you. Take the high road and don't embarrass him at work. You may want to encourage him to find a new job.
2007-02-12 07:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
How humiliating for you. The man you have loved for 4 years is an absolute fool. I wouldn't dignify his actions with a response other than divorce papers and half of whatever you have built together in the last 4 years.
2007-02-12 07:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by Tim W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋