Ok the details are: My husband is 16 years older than me! Well right before I met him he had been to prison and since then he's been back once! I am pregnant with his baby and I am so scared that if he gets into trouble again how am I going to make it? I know that he hasent done anything since We've been married but he's been married before and he has 3 kids so that's obviously never stopped him!
2007-02-12 07:43:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...first things first!!! Is he discharged from his parole? If he is then the next question....is he still living his life with the same behavior that put him into prison in the first place??? I hope he is not...Is he using drugs? If so , urge him to seek rehab.
What I have to say for you is going to appear as callous. I do not intend for it to be...but listen please....
You married your husband, knowing he has a history of being locked up.....let's fast forward....you had sex with him knowing the possibility that you might end up pregnant. So here it is...you walked into this situation fully knowing the possibility of what may happen with your husband...I want you to NOT feel like a victim...you made an educated choice to be with this man. You need to own the fact that you have played a part in your fears. I know this doesn't bring you comfort..BUT you will feel LESS victimized if you take some of the responsibility for this situation.
Now here is the good part...maybe he is old enough now to live differently ( I hope). You can make it in this world and be a mother....with or without him. If he does go back to prison....you will make it. It may not be easy..as a matter of fact it will be difficult, but you will adjust...you can do this.
For the time being...enjoy your pregnancy...enjoy your marriage. You only get to live one life...how you do live it -- is entirely up to you. You need to make it known to your hubby exactly how you are feeling, your fears & your joys, this way he knows what you are willing to put up with your marriage. It is important that you two talk...that way he understands where you are and you understand where he is.
I wish you luck...I hope your marriage thrives...your husbands grows...and your baby is beautiful and healthy!!
2007-02-12 08:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your situation, but OMG why would you get involved with a man like that, MEN are suppose to be MEN and take care of the women, if he's been to jail a few time looks like he might go again, has 3 other kids and now your pregnate, do you think this is a prize catch, there is nothing you can do but leave him and learn to take care of yourself, or find a REAL MAN
2007-02-12 07:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mistake number 1: You got involved with someone who was in prison.
Mistake number 2: You married someone so much older with 3 children.
Mistake number 3: He has been back to prison since you have met him.
My advice: Get a good education so you can make it when he goes back to prison.
2007-02-12 07:48:17 · answer #3 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
TRUST ME... he probably has done something and somethings that you don't know about since you have been married. Most important are you and the baby. You will make it, it will be tough, but you can. If this is his third trip to prison, there will most likely be a 4th, 5th, and so on. I would suggest getting OUT of this marriage as soon as possible. You have to think of yourself and your BABY most importantly. You don't want to deal with this the rest of your life, and this is exactly what you will deal with over and over and over.
2007-02-12 07:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen girl, there is no reason why you can't do it on your own. He is not dependable and the sooner you realize that you have to be responsible for yourself and that baby you are going to have the better. He has 3 other kids to also support whether he is in prison or not. Find a better role model for your child and learn to take care of yourself.
2007-02-12 07:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Um... So, what's the question!? Prison!? More than once? Get away! Get a job! Start your new life over with someone who doesn't have a tendancy to go to jail! How are you going to make it? Well, you and your child will be a lot better off without the criminal element!
I wish you well!
2007-02-12 07:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by Ray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got yourself a winner! Knowing who he is, make sure you have a safety net (or build one). Start saving some money and ask a friend or your parents if you could move in if things ever went bad. Talk to your husband and tell him about your fears. It's only natural to be worried about having a stable household for your baby.
2007-02-12 07:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All this history certainly didn't stop you from getting involved with this idiot, did it? Real smart.
Why the hell weren't you thinking about this before you married him and got knocked up? How old ARE you?
2007-02-12 07:54:47 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, girl, you already got yourself into this situation. Some men do change but chances are, he hasn't. There seems to be a pattern with him. How old are you? What's your financial situation? Do you have anywhere else to go?
2007-02-12 07:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by Smiles 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry if he hasn't done anything. But if you are worried, I would rethink being with him. You want your child around someone that has been to prison twice?
2007-02-12 07:48:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋