Why is it that men don't see their faults in a relationship? For example, I am always stuck with our child.... I see about her the most. Y is that? Do you consider him to be selfish? Advice please
2007-02-12 06:34:03 · 21 answers · asked by Child of God 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
According to the answers provided some of you sound dumb. So please experience MARRIED couples answers are needed. I know women take care of the kids, and yes I work as well but isn't there a time at some point that he should want to take time with his child as well to give mommy a break?????????
2007-02-12 07:15:47 · update #1
Money is not an issue...We are both very stable.
2007-02-12 07:25:34 · update #2
Why do you say that men never see their faults in a relationship? That is painting every man with a pretty broad brush, don't you think? I think it's a personality trait, not a gender trait.
And yes, to answer your question... He is selfish. He needs to understand that a relationship is a 50/50 deal and that he and you are equal, in every respect. He has to allow you time to do your things if he expects you to be happy with him doing his things. If he can't understand this then he may be too emotionally immature to be in a relationship.
2007-02-12 06:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men don't automatically bond with their kids the way women do. He needs to develop that and if he isn't interested it may be because he feels ill equipped to do it. Lots of men just have no idea what to do with a kid. They forgot it's okay to just play. That's the best, easiest and fastest way to get to know and love your kids. They tend to think there is a right way to take care of kids and they don't know what that is. Be a little more understanding with him and give him a chance to play and don't expect more at first. It will come naturally once he becomes more interested. A lot of men also think babies are boring. Share some of the things you've discovered about the baby so he sees her/him as more of a little person with likes and dislikes.
2007-02-12 06:45:55 · answer #2 · answered by MissWong 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 11 year and we have 3 girls and my husband has done this the majority of our marriage and I have allowed it to be this way. I understand completely how you feel. I would suggest that you talk with your spouse and take a stand. I am just now doing so in my marriage and had to threaten to leave to level the playing feild. It did however make him see that he was being selfish and controlling. I wish you the best and hope you can resolve it or it will just eat away at you and destroy your relationship.
2007-02-12 07:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by A b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think men are all different. For instence I am married I don't have children but if I did I think I would want to be with my child all of the time. Some men dont want to bother with kids and I know it is true cause I work at an elementary and its hell every day. But I think that parents are the ones who decide on how their kids will act when they grow up.
2007-02-12 06:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women, too, fail to see "their faults". Before you steam-roll all over your husband, ask yourself who was it that chose him as a husband in the first place. The blame is yours to share. Now try to work it out constructively, instead of going for the "it's all his fault" routine.
Perhaps you're "stuck" with the child because your husband works his b*tt off to pay the bills and support you both? Or maybe he wasn't too eager to have this child to begin with, and you got pregnant "by mistake"? Or he IS doing what he can, but you simply don't notice, and instead choose to focus on things he ISN'T doing? Have you communicated to him how you feel, or are you hoping for him to "read your mind"? Sure, it could be that he's just a lazy SOB who works a bare minimum, lives from paycheck to paycheck, and doesn't want to have anything to do with you or the child. But then it is you who chooses to be with him... The ball is in your court.
2007-02-12 06:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's usually the way things are- wifes/mothers care for the kids while husbands/fathers earn a living. I wouldn't call this a fault or selfish, it's just that biologically, men are wired differently.
2007-02-12 06:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well even tho my man & I both work full time I also do the grunt of the child raising. The reason for that is he works a lot of overtime. If he's not working than there is no way I am "watching" our kids while he goes out without us. Put your foot down if that's the case.
2007-02-12 06:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Candy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most men are ignorant. I left my child with her father while I went to do some errands out of town. I knew I need to get back fast when i got back she was near incoherant. couldn't walk without falling over and vomiting more than she took in. He was to absorbed in the all mighty tv god to even check on her knowing she was sick. I had to take her to the hospital for intervenius. So your not alone, but not all guys are that way some are great fathers. And as for not seeing there faults. I don't think any man can. That comes under the heading that they don't ask for directions when they are lost. god for bid they ask for dirrectioins. mentally handicapped morons!!!!!
2007-02-12 06:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just remind your hubby it is his child as well. Let him know it would be a blessing for the family for him to become participatorier. Complaining will not get you what you want.
Also take a good look at your husband’s life and make sure you are not asking too much based on his activities such as work and other obligation. You are just as responsible for solving the issues so get creative and help him find way to be around more.
2007-02-12 06:59:33 · answer #9 · answered by T-Rex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's quite a generalization there. You don;t provide sufficient information to determine if he is selfish or not. Does he work and you stay at home? Does he do other things around the house? You get the drift.
BTW, if you feel time spent with your child is stuck time perhaps you are the selfish one.
2007-02-12 06:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋