I recently posted a ? about my husband not helping around the house at all. He didn't take my, threat, as he called it, well that if he doesn't start his promise of cleanig up the house then the puppy he bought, promising to clean the house, would have to go. He rolled his eyes and went back to playing his game. I started to tell him if it gets to that day then I'll leave too for a few days. But he cut me off before I could tell him I'll leave. I have made the arrangements with my parents to stay with them for a few days starting this Wednesday, yes Valentine's Day, if he doesn't make any effort what-so-ever. I also plan to hide his video and computer games if I have to leave. Am I being to harsh or does this seem to be a good way to handle it since I can't get through to him verbally?
2007-02-12 05:28:29 · 7 answers · asked by blonde_chick1284 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There MUST be consequences for a spouse's rotten behavior. I remember your question from before, and you received overwhelming support on taking action should your husband not take your threats seriously. So yes, go stay with your parents. Send a message that you're NOT just full of idle threats, but that you're a woman of action. Childish? Perhaps. But sometimes you have to fight fire with fire!
2007-02-12 05:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiding his games is going a little overboard, he will be totally pissed at you for that, so he would just think about how mad he is at you, instead of thinking gee I should've helped out more. Have you tried asking him nicely to get something cleaned up? No, you shouldn't have to ask for him to help clean up his own home, but it's pretty much the only way you will get a good response. Pick two rooms you want him to clean up, and tell him after he's done, he can get back on his game, and that you wont bother him for the rest of the day. Remember to say Thank You if he does it. I never have found running away or hiding out from your problems, to ever work, it just makes them worse. If you test someone, more often than not you will get the opposite result of what you wanted.
2007-02-12 05:36:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sounds like you have your answer from him regarding what his plan of action is. Now you have to decide for yourself what is it that you want to do. IMO, going to stay at your parents' house "for a couple of days" won't solve anything, it'll just give him a much-needed break from your nagging. If you are not happy with how things are going between you two, you have to make a decision as to whether you're going to continue on and try to make it work (which would involve accepting certain things, and not trying to change them) - or if you might consider leaving for good, and filing for divorce. Playing little games of leaving the house, slamming doors and hiding his toys is not going to achieve a damn thing. If you're serious about leaving - just leave, and don't come back.
2007-02-12 05:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both acting like little children. That's not a marriage, it's a playground fight.
If you need help communicating in an adult manner, seek professional therapy. Otherwise, the marriage will never survive.
2007-02-12 05:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by kja63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, not too harsh. He should be picking up after himself. Definately hide the playstation (or whatevery he has) today! Beware that he may go out and rebuy this stuff.
2007-02-12 05:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know it sounds like he could use a kick in the rump so good for you when he sees all that you have to do when he just sits around acting like akid maybe he will start to help you show him that you are serious and good luck
2007-02-12 05:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by advise_gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends what kind of a guy your husband is, by the sound of it he may just tell you to stay, a total jerk, he's too wrapped up in his self, good luck.
2007-02-12 05:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by skip3800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋