my best friend and her husband really really don't get along and they both say they are going to get a divorce her soon when they can aford it. She says they sleep in diffrent rooms. She told me that they will start the paper work by this summer. Well my qusestion is "if she meet some one is it ok for her to talk to him" I know she would never do anything but is it bad to even talk to some one that you are interestd in?? I had palned on minding my own buissness but she asked me what I though. I told her I didn't know but she keeps hounding me. I want her to be happy and I know she hasn't been for awhile but is this just asking for trouble no matter how inosent the intent is? Or is it ok aslong as nothing happens before they seperate.
2007-02-12 05:20:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they don't have any kids, nor many asets. She said that he has already told her what they could each take when they got a divorce, however he was married before and he was really nasty a ns sneeky in that divorse that did envlove kids so I don't see why she would trust that he wouldn't be to her. But as bad as it sounds I kinda of think it would help her self asteem to her some one compliment her. In most ways I think it is a bad bad idea. yeah she could confuse fealing becuase she is on the rebond, she cold make the divorce bad, guys that would talk to a married women aren't normaly very good guys, but I have wanted her to leave the guy that she is with since about the day she has been with him, he demeans her and totaly takes her for advantage, but he has had her convinced that she can't get any more. atleast if she was talking to this guy she might have a chance of getting out.
2007-02-12 06:41:22 · update #1
the guy know she is married
2007-02-12 12:30:36 · update #2
It's a bad idea, because if the husband finds out all the bad feelings might come together and explode in a fit of rage. And emotions during a divorce are strained anyway. Why make things worse.
2007-02-12 05:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if she wants to complicate a divorce, then sure she can talk.
Facts are once a woman finds someone interesting, (OR A MAN) it usually leads to more.
( book his needs her needs by Willard out lines this path quite well) this is usually the final step ( for an adultrious affair) although usually the negitive attitude by the female usually (drives) the man into more appreciateve arms, but not always the case.
let her know it's her decision, but if she is serious about starting over, then get the divorce before there are children, and further complications. JUST AN FYI
GL
2007-02-12 13:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Sully 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She shouldnt do anything until the divorce is complete then she will be okay it can be used against her if she does. It is best to retain the high moral ground and be happy after the divorce finding new things. Plus she may not be in the right state of mind for a new relationship quickly. I see to many bad rebound relationships. Tell her to cool it and take her time.
2007-02-12 13:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by msqtech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would advice her to wait...worse case scenario: her husband finds out that she's "talking" to someone, he could get upset and turn into a nasty divorce. I would be a better choice if she waits, moves out, files for divorce, and then starts talking to someone. I would say that her husband would feel more respect for her to wait until the separation was completed. If she starts talking to someone, then he would feel cheated on and that could make the situation even more difficult to deal with. I tell you this cause I got divorce and even after I got divorce, my ex still asks me if I met someone, and I feel a little jealosy from him. I can't imagine how upset he would become if I had started to talk to someone in the middle of a difficult situation such as our divorce. It's just a matter of respect for the partner.
2007-02-12 13:40:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I started talking to someone and I found out they are still living in the same roof with their husband, I would cut it off right then and there. Even if she tells me that they plan to divorce.
I have no idea what is going on under that roof but it sounds like a lot of trouble to me. So tell her that if she really is interested in this other person to wait till she moves out and is divorced.
2007-02-12 13:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by Curiously 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She should probably wait until the divorce is final. One reason is that she would be on the rebound and confuse her attraction to the new guy with love only to realize that it is a mistake. The other reason is if the divorce turns ugly, and often they do, then her husband could use this information in numerous ways to hurt her. Fight her for custody, make her lose her portion of their property, delay divorce, spousal support due to adultery....the list could go on forever. It is worth it for her to wait, and if this guy is really into her, then he should understand and wait as well.
2007-02-12 13:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her marriage will not work with a third party involved, be supportive as her friend and granted she wants your opinion but she may want to hear that you think it is okay. Tell her she needs to resolve this one on her own, and that your are behind her in what she needs to do. You do not want to get caught in the middle especially if her husband finds out what she is up to.
Good Luck to you!
2007-02-12 13:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by stefanibrown74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like she's really in the right frame of mind or situation to even THINK about starting something new - even if it's only talking.
That kind of stuff can blow up in your face during a divorce hearing.
2007-02-12 13:26:41 · answer #8 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has there own defenition of when they cross the line. If her attention and heart are already with someone else. I think that it's really no different than being physical. The question is has she in her own mind crossed her line, she is looking for you to say it's Ok. Tell to be honarable. Please there is enough hurt in this world. Bob
2007-02-12 13:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by Bob B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man who "talks" to a married woman who is still living with her spouse can't be such a great catch. A decent man would refuse to involve himself with her until she cleans up her life.
2007-02-12 13:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋