My wife and I are going to be married 5 years in march.I have been feeling really bad because she caught me flirting with all the 20 somethings at work on my myspace.I didn't mean to and I really hurt her. Her super low self esteem is now 10 times worse I can only imagine how she feels after giveing birth twice.Then I turn around and do something to make her feel less than wonderful.I also do not wear a wedding ring.I just don't like too. I want to know how I can make it up to her and make her feel really special so she will forgive me and feel good about her self again I have a budget of about 1000 dollers.I have expressed more intrest in getting a big screen T.V more than trying make her feel like the 5 years have been worth it so help me with Idea's.I am not the most romantic and if it is to cheesy she will make fun of me
2007-02-12 05:11:17 · 17 answers · asked by dlapasky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In my opinion, a one time romantic dealybob this weekend will not undo the hurt that you've caused her. You need to think of this as a campaign, at least six months. You need to sit down with a calendar and map out surprises and treats, gifts, and romantic things you can do AGAIN AND AGAIN to show her how special she is to you. You need to reassure her with words and actions how much you love her and find her attractive. Flirt with her, send her flirty emails instead of your 20somthings.
2007-02-12 05:30:25 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking that you might need to re-evaluate exactly how you feel about your wife and being married in general.
Why do you not like wearing the wedding ring? Is it because you don't want anyone to know that you're married? What about the flirting with other women? Is it going to stop now that you've been discovered or will it continue in secret? I think this is something you need to take a long hard look at and discover your own motives in all this if even for yourself.
If you want to do something special, try making her feel like the woman you want her to be. It doesn't cost anything. All you have to do is be a good husband and remind her what it was about her that you fell in love with. Show her how beautiful and attractive and completely awe-inspiring she is to you. If she's not all those things to you, then you do need to do a serious introspective to find out why.
2007-02-12 05:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by genetic_traitor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not very smart what you chose to do and hurt your wives feelings. Important is now, that you start proving that you deserve her love. It may takes years for her to get over this and you need to make sure she can trust you again. First start wearing your wedding ring, to prove you're serious. My husband had to get used to it, but now he's fine.
Remember what she loved to do together when you guys were dating? Take her out for a nice weekend without the kids. A nice fancy hotel, have breakfast served in bed and a nice romantic dinner. Write her a letter in which you express how much you regret that you hurt her trust and feeling and how important she is to you and value the fact that she gave birth to both babies.
Tell her you will do anything to regain her trust and make a written promise for her to keep, which she can help you remind when she feels bad. Take time talk when she feels to and don't argue.
After that you need to prove yourself, but it would be a great start. Keep reassuring her that she is all you need and want in life and make her feel very important, now, the next year and the next 60 years.
2007-02-12 05:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you can not buy her self esteem.
You want her to feel loved then you have to man up and wear the wedding ring and not openly flirt with other women. Also speak to her and find out what is on her mind and don't judge or try to fix it, but listen.
Ask yourself why you married this woman and get in touch with your feelings. Being a man is being devoted to the woman you love and that you are willing to do what it takes to show that love.
Being a boy is flirting with the women, not committing and thinking you can buy off forgiveness.
Good luck.
2007-02-12 05:38:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with men not wanting to wear a wedding ring? If you love your wife so much and you have upset her the thing that would make her feel really special is wearing your wedding ring. It doesn't mean that you gave up anything, it just means that you are with someone you really love and they are special to you. Wear your ring and don't tell her that you have it on, let her notice on her own!!! There is nothing wrong with casual flurting as long as it stays that way. However, if what you are doing is hurting your partner then stop. Does your wife like jewelry? the tv is something you want is it something she wants? Go out and buy her a nice gold heart pendant that says I love you and whenever she wears it she will feel good about herself and you. You will never make your wife feel good about herself until you wear your wedding ring!!!!!!!!!!! Wear it and be happy you have someone who really loves you and if you love her you will wear it!!!Take care Heather
2007-02-12 05:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all WEAR YOUR WEDDING RING! So what if you dont like to man.. You married! She probably thinks you are trying to cheat on her. Thats what most women think when their husband dont wear his ring! Second... You probably dont want to do this either... But delete your myspace account. But if it makes the love of your life happy... then why wouldnt you? Sounds like a good idea to me. Spend more time with her a less time on the computer! Sure when you do something chessy.. or you say it is. She laughs... but people with a low self esteem... like myself laugh at stuff if they dont really know how to act. I laugh at everything my boyfriend does thats sweet.
Okay... try cooking her dinner... maybe leave her a note beside her one morning asking her to join you tonight for dinner. Get a sitter... Take a bath together... Leave her roses.. or peddles ledding her to a bubble bath... or something. Be creative.. you have a LOT to make up for!
And if you really want to make her happy you should really think about doing what I said above... (Then computer, and the ring.... )
Hope I could help. Good luck!
2007-02-12 05:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know something thats free that will relieve her. Delete your myspace. Married people dont need those things. Ive been married about 3 years to my husband, neither of us have one of those accounts because we dont need to "try and meet other people" I've had two kids also, and I'm sure she feels like crap.More than you know, and probably insecure as well. Not to be judgemental but you should really wear your ring, or tat one on. That is not only a symbol to each other but a red flag for women looking at you-to know you are off limits.
2007-02-12 05:23:14 · answer #7 · answered by cherokee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, delete your my space thing --- that's for kids, hon. Your a man, hopefully. And tell her that you have deleted it...
Secondly, wear your ring, proudly.... you are proud to be married to her, aren't you???? Then wear it.
Thirdly, tell her want to do something special for her, and ask her if she has any special wishes.... If she does not, ask if you can surprise her.
Then buy and read a book "For Each Other" by Lonnie Barbach..... cheap in paperback anywhere, and worth every dime......THE sex therapist in the country today.... Become a great lover, not just good. And become a better husband and partner......
2007-02-12 05:38:30 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to that. My plan was to taker her to Hawaii for a couple of days, but we decided together to wait until April and go on a bigger vacation. I think the best thing you can do for her is continually shower her with attention and love. When I was at the bank with my wife, I complemented a girl on her hair and it made my wife uncomfortable. To make up for it I spent the next few days looking for any oppurtunity to make her feel beautiful. Have great sex.
2007-02-12 05:20:38 · answer #9 · answered by wassupmang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by deleting your myspace account, and forward her the confirmation of deletion. Next, buy a card and in it tell her how happy the last 5 years have been, and that you love her more than anything, and you are looking forward to the next 50 together.
THEN tell her you have a surprise weekend planned. (book a fun long weekend vacation somewhere she would love) and pamper her the whole weekend- make her feel beautiful.
2007-02-12 05:37:09 · answer #10 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋