I found out the hard way about my ex. We were in a long term relationship and when we were about to get married, she got a so called "best friend". I questioned it, but she hid it from me. We tried to work things out and she told me everything was going to be okay. Then she never came home. I found out this was more than just a friend. She felt I never changed, but I felt like she kept me along to "change" her mind so she wouldn't move on. I was supportive emotionally, thoughtful, and family oriented. What I think happened was that she had two guys. She looked for every wrinkle in me as a reason to leave, which made the other look more attractive. She left without reason, and I hate her so much for doing that. Then she confuses me by calling me now and then. Has anyone done this to anyone before? I need to know what would cause someone to do this. I am seeing a therapist right now b/c I need answers for me. Why was she so scared to tell me anything?
2007-02-12 04:19:43 · 9 answers · asked by Need Answers 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some people don't know what they want. They run hot and cold. She's the one that probably needs therapy and will probably repeat the same pattern over and over throughout her life. It's a good idea you're working this out with a therapist though to help you move on. It does sound like she strung you along. You're better off without this particular girl and will realize this eventually. There's nothing you could have done to change things. She may have even convinced herself that she wanted to be with you. I've dated the 'wishy-washy' type too and I'm glad I'm no longer in that kind of relationship. It's not so bad being on one's own and having the freedom to do as you please.
2007-02-12 04:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex girlfriend that treated me exactly like you describe. She was seeing someone else but would never be upfront with me. I never got a reason why from her. Even when I asked her if she was cheating, she was silent. One thing for sure, I found someone 100 times better and we got married and have now been happily married for 20 years. Try to get over her and find someone who will treat you right. She's not worth the misery you feel.
2007-02-12 04:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband of 10 years also found fault with me, even rewrote the whole marriage, making it all bad, when it wasn't. the problem wasn't me, but at first i blamed myself, believed all the lies he said about me, hurt my self worth, the reason was he had another woman and she was younger, liked to do drugs just like him, think he kept me to use me for whatever he could get, when he couldn't do that anymore he wanted rid of me. they do it because they are self centered, have low morals, and have no concience. yes he saw my every fault and magnified it, but wouldn't even look at me in any positive light once he found her, even though i had been faithful for 10 years, given my all, financially and other ways, i was then abruply dismissed and repaced for a younger woman who was just a dope smoking homewrecker. she didn't love u like u loved her, yes sometimes we do end up with the wrong person in life, and we are last to see it. yes they do hide it, and hide it well, as they know how to get over on people. don't talk to this woman anymore, she did u a great injustice, or maybe not, just be glad u got rid of her before she took u for everything u had. yes it happens, happened to me, it felt just terribble, and it does take awhile to get over it, u have to accept what life has given u, rotten or not, and just move on and try to be more selective the next time. it will be hard to trust for awhile but as time goes by the hurt does diminish. pray not for the relationship to return but pray for some understanding and wisdom. she was just one of those bad eggs, and since u loved her u didn't see it.
2007-02-12 05:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she was a coward. i kinda have the same problem, but he doesn't call me because i changed my number so he wouldn't. but i know he would if i didn't. it's hard because it was his ex that he left me for, but if he wanted to just be with her he would have done it instead of living with me and talking about getting married and all that. i mean, now, he only wants to be with her, but i refuse to talk to him or anything and they are supposedly getting married on friday (that is not going to last long and who do you think he's going to run back to when it doesn't work out?). but the hard part in all this is that i was pregnant when he did all this, so i now have his kid. and i don't care that he wants nothing to do with him, because i would rather have it that way. i would kill him if i saw him for what he did to me.
2007-02-12 04:26:09 · answer #4 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she had fixed emotions and feelings.. im sure this friend put things in her head to make her believe other things among what u and her had.. Its good that u are talking to someone for help for u. U really need to know from her though.. U will never get a true answer unless its from her. good luck to u and god bless u
2007-02-12 04:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so you are better off, but next time... pay closer attention to who you are with and make sure they earn your trust and affection, be a gentleman and not a wus, and dump the next one if she acts like an idiot.
Get out with your dignity next time... unless you find a really good one (not likely). Gotta kiss a lot of toads, ya know?
2007-02-12 05:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just act like a man. Cut your losses. If you are not yet married to her (not clear from what you said), move on. Even if she comes back to you, she will always use that ploy again to make you feel being constantly compared. You won't be able to live with that.
2007-02-12 04:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she wasnt scared, she just didnt want to explain herself or feel guilty for what she was doing which is why she probably calls you every now and then. dont be confused, she doesnt want you! not being harsh -just truthful. dont accept calls from her- she know what she did was wrong and if you talk to her you'll only cause yourself more pain and it will take a longer time for you to get over her. keep your head up!
2007-02-12 04:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she's weak, self-centered and probably a user who lacks self-esteem. And she has no character or morals.
2007-02-12 04:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋