I dated my guy from the age of 16 through 19, then we broke up for about four years, I had another 3 yr relationship, had a daughter, and her dad is no longer around except for the occasional phonecall. I was single for the first year and a half of my daughter's life, and by chance started talking to my ex from highschool again. He changed a lot and we ended up dating again. It has been six months now and he says that he will never do anything to loose me again. Back in the day he really hurt my parents, via hurting me, and my dad holds gruges. My guy knows that my family is everything to me and that he needs to make amends with my dad but hasn't taken the step and my dad thinks worse and worse of him everyday he doesn't do anything.
Lately I have been having second thoughts about the relationship. I say I love you, but I don't feel it. I feel that I need someone that has no discrepencies with my family. What should I do?
2007-02-12 04:16:03 · 13 answers · asked by enljb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are basing this relation on the fact that he and your parents did not get along back in the day. You stated he has changed and what needs to be done is to show that change to your parents. He needs to have a 1 on 1 talk with your day and say he was sorry for the things in the past and what he did to hurt them/you he would love to change but he can not change the past. He can let them know you are the world to him and that he treats you like you should be treated.
You problem is your parents and what they think about then and not based upon what you think about this guy
2007-02-12 04:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you shouldn't tell a man you love him if the feelings aren't really there. You would be pissed is the shoe was on the other foot. Secondly, it may take time for your man to build up the strength and courage to face your dad. Dad's are scary when it comes to boyfriends...don't you remember high school. If the way your dad is behaving is causing and immediate problem and you want to be with this guy, then you need to stand up to your dad. Just say "hey dad, I know that 'John' hurt me real bad back then but things are different know, he's grown up. If I can find it in my hearrt to forgive him, then why can't you...if for anything out of respect and love for me, your daughter." I went through something similar when I was younger and I fianlly had to tell my dad how I felt. The guy sounds like he really wants to make things work with you so I would give it a shot.
2007-02-12 04:25:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father's right about this one. If your ex has really changed, i.e. mended his hurtful ways, the first thing he'd do is have a one-on-one with your father, apologizing for his past behavior.
If your ex sees no point in this, then he still does not really believe he did anything wrong in the first place.
I believe your intuition is telling you the truth, letting you know it would be a mistake to re-commit to this man.
2007-02-12 04:24:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that by putting off a discussion with your father, he is losing your respect. That if he really wants to be the MAN in your life then he needs to step up to the plate and act like one. Then see what happens.
2007-02-12 04:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FATHER KNOWS BEST
remember when u take a spouse you take the whole family not just one person. Life is to short for that type of long-term struggle
partner or family.
think clearly and u will know what to do.
2007-02-12 04:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by LSS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People deserve a second chance. However, if you don't love him, then don't keep it going. You will only hurt yourself and your kid more and more by keeping it going. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and someone that you love as well. Be honest with yourself, do whats right for you and your kid and stay close to your family. You'll do Great!
2007-02-12 04:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be treated like a Queen...do no longer settle for far less era. Too many women and adult males finally end up married to those who they "settled for". shouldn't your mate be absolutely the, one hundred%, maximum nicely matched individual you recognize. i'd proceed to exist fable Island even as it includes relationships, yet, I anticipate honesty, loyalty and understanding from my mate. no longer some thing a lot less. do no longer settle for far less...
2016-11-27 04:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i have to say that if he was physically hurting you before. stay away because it is rare that changes occur. and once your married things dont get better, they get worse.
if you say i love you and dont feel like you do, then your not. if you have second thoughts then its not right. this is you intuition telling you that something is not quite right. he could hurt you worse. get out if you can .
2007-02-12 04:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by pegasis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know what you should do, if you don't feel as though
you love him ya know and stress is in your family from his past
treatment of you cut him loose and live a healthly life.
2007-02-12 04:20:38 · answer #9 · answered by JENNY L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps if all you need is some more approval from you dad to make you feel better..
so maybe if you take your bf to some family dinners.. and such..
maybe all your dad needs is some proof that your bf has changed
2007-02-12 04:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋