My husband hit me when he got mad. It wasn't a one time thing and we have only been married for a year and a half. We have two kids, a 6 month old boy and a three year old girl. Last time he hit me, (about two weeks ago) I told him I would leave if he didn't get help. I told his parents and mine. His parents didn't seem like they were that upset. He went to the doctor and he was depressed. They put him on Prozac and he has been on it for a few weeks. Things have gotten better but I have a hard time being intimate with him and I really resent him for hitting me. I don't want to be with him anymore but we have two kids together. Our families think we need to work it out as well. I just can't love him anymore after all that...I care about him and want him to be happy so I don't know what to do! HELP!
2007-02-12 03:54:43 · 18 answers · asked by Gina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my gawd! What do u need to work out?
Have u heard that children that grow up in violent homes are more likely to become violent and unhappy too?
A) Ur son will grow disrespectful and violent towards women.
B) Ur daughter will find a man like her daddy and when he hits her she will think it OK because mommy went through it.
Leave him alone and let HIS family help him. Be careful and do not look back, for ur kids sake.
Sorry for what ur going through. Do not be afraids and let go.
2007-02-12 04:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by RR77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from, and it can be a hard situation to deal with. I wouldn't give up on him yet. I am willing to bet that you DO still love him but you are also overwhelmed with fear and anger, which is giving you the illusion of not being in love. Batterers can change but it takes time and more that some ant-depressents. I suggest asking your husband to move out for awhile and get the help he needs. He should take anger management classes and go through the batterers education program (talk to a local college for more info). The two of you should also consider counseling not only separately but also as a family. This is bound to have some affect on your three year old. Give it time and if he isn't getting the help he needs or you still feel this way then go to the next step. You would already have him out of the house so you would just need to file the paperwork. He CAN change though, he just has to be willing to try.
2007-02-12 04:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Your best recourse is to take your children and leave.Going to the doctor and getting medicine is only to cover up what the real problem is.The Prozac is only for depressing his moods,and that is not good enough especially when he is already depressed.His parents are not upset because he leaned that behavior at home.Probably from his Father.Who has probably been doing it to his Mom for years.
He needs professional help,and you are not the one to give it to him.So you too have children together,So what.That doesn't mean you have to stay ther and get beat on.I don't mean to sound light of it,but you have other options to protect you and your children.Like,a protection order,supervised visits,moving to another state.Any of these in my opinion is a lot better than staying there and getting beat by that man.Not to mention your children who will,not could,will become victims of his rage.You and your children are more important than that,So act like it and do what your instincts,not your feelings tell you to do.Get out of there,and don't waste any time doing it.God Bless you,and keep you and your children.
2007-02-12 08:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm affraid I'll have to give you some straight truth:
1- Your inlaws don't seem to care because that's probably the way they were when they raised your husband
2- As far as the kids go, you should have thought of that before having them.
3- Your husband has a problem that will not go away so listen to your instinct and leave NOW but get some manly protection from your imediate friends and family because the man you maried is a wako.
4- Good luck and get out NOW
2007-02-12 04:07:58 · answer #4 · answered by l r 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His parents probably were "not upset" because there was probably physical abuse in the family when your husband was growing up. The father probably beat the wife, and he probably beat your husband as well.
You must remove yourself from this situation. I promise you it will only get worse. He will eventually beat the children as well as you. Is that what you want? He must fix himself, you can't fix him.
Do you have family that lives somewhere else? That could put you up until you get a job? You must be able to support yourself and your children. Local county services should be able to offer you counseling, job training, financial assistance in the form of legal advice, filing for separation, whatever.
I'm afraid I don't know the details, but start with calling your local County services--Mental Health Services, Social Services, Child Services. I don't even know the names! But I do know that there is help available for you.
DO NOT let people try to talk you out of it.
Physical abuse and aldultery are grounds for divorce in even the most stringent religions.
Good luck.
2007-02-12 04:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can care for him while u are away from him, listen I have been through this before...but one day I went to the police.....he wouldn't forget that one day, but if he can't forget that so even do I, he st-oped after that now we have been together for 20 years last time he did that was 10 years ago and he did it two month back and even for no reason...so why I am telling you this just to know this is a built in ...it runs in their blood and believe when I tell you it's better you keep your children away of all that the less thing would happen to them is to hate their father for what he is doing to you. and not only that if you stay for the sake of the children maybe one day when they grow up they will blame you for staying married to him..that's what is happening to me...so here is my advice you have to make a decision..OK? how? first you have to meet his Dr.and ask him and know the situation and if he has to live on medication for the rest of his life or it is something curable....try to do that I know that you don't love him anymore but you should do this for your self. because if you left him u will know that you did the best that you can in this relation...and good luck for you and the children.
2007-02-12 04:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK here is the thing, I'm going to tell you from experience, my parents went through a very similar thing, and as one of the kids, i was unhappy as all hell, if you or your hubby are unhappy together its going to trickle down on your kids, leave him, be friends, but get out, divorce him, it will be better for every one, be-leave me, sounds like your and his parents are a lil old school and don't be-leave in that, but i be-leave if your not happy get the heck out asap, more so as i was the happiest kid in the world when my parents finally split up, do it for every one in the house not just you
2007-02-12 04:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by dom_parnell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the situation should of been looked into the first time he hit you.. It should of not took a next time or however many times he has hit you for him to go get help.. I would think counseling might help try that before you let go .... Good luck and I hope you do the right thing.........
2007-02-12 04:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by huddlestony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him get a retrain order or somthing cause if he hit beat whatever he will do the children like that have u seen ENOUGH leave he is a dangerous man and he say that he will change but the never do leave go somewhere that safe. if he said that he will love u to death u should be left.
2007-02-12 04:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by jans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel threatened leave.
Give him some time - he may get his self together and apologize, but dont count on it.
If you do not want to be with him and he threatens you again call the cops.
That way he cant do something stupid like say hey she kidnapped the kids you will have a good reason because you left and do not want your children harmed. Just get it on file
Let him do it or put your foot down. Youll be alright with out him.
So will your kids.
2007-02-12 03:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋