she got it a month or two ago and Carrie feels bad for her daughter i say i shouldnt because she opened her legs she can deal with what she made. Am i wrong . if so wat should i do
2007-02-12 03:44:58 · 28 answers · asked by allen_lashun 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I don't think you should be so hard on the little girl...evidently there was something else going on that wasn't dealt with...The little girls 'opended her legs' to feel some type of void in her life....trust me, she didn't know the full extent of what she was doing....how much can a 12 year old understand...in the fullness of everything that happened...
I think that you should support your friend...encourage her to enjoy the baby....the baby is not the problem...the problem was in why she had sex....
Maybe some counseling or heart to heart conversations with them could help to get to the bottom of the real problem...but
don't feel bad about how you felt...you just didn't understand that there was a lot going on in that little girls heart.....
2007-02-12 03:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by LIFECOACH 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes and no. Yes she should have to deal with her actions and take care of the baby. No it is not your place to degrade her and make it seem all her fault because a guy helped make that baby and chances are he won't be helping her raise it. She is going to need all the support she can get if she decides to raise this child. Don't forget you were a kid once as well and people were having babies at the age of 13 and 14 for years. A lot of times girls and boys go out and have sex becasue of lack of attention at home from their parents. They have sex so they'll feel some love even though it's the wrong kind. They don't know any better because their parents are always at work and don't talk to them about this stuff. You should apologize to her and the mother of the 12 year old. It's not your baby and it's not your daughter that is pregnant but if it was would you be the same way to your own daughter that you are towards your friend's? I imagine it took a lot of courage for her to tell her mom she is pregnant. If you don't like it than don't be friends with her mom but don't degrade the 12 year old when you've probably done the same things in the past that she has done. Everyone makes mistakes but that's no reason to think just because your an adult means your smarter and superior to the teen and preteen girls who get pregnant.
2007-02-12 04:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't necessarily say wrong, but there was another way that it could have been said to get your point across. One can only imagine what this woman is going through.
Granted the 12 year old was trying to make adult choice, but after all she is only a child. Have the mother talk to her daughter about her choices, and if she needs you to be there for her be there. Be supportive in everyway, even if you disagree with how she chooses to handle the situation. What they both need now is a friend. Tell your friend to let her daughter know that she made a mistake, but that she still loves her anyway. When your friend needs a shoulder to cry, be there for her without being judgemental.
From one friend to another
2007-02-12 04:01:21 · answer #3 · answered by Boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one...it really isn't your place to say.....It is their family and their situation. If she comes to you for advice, then instead of flying off the handle and saying something like, "well she spread her legs, it's her problem," try something else, like listening and seeing things from her point of view. I can certainly understand why she would feel bad for her daughter. She is a child in an adult world with a few really hard adult decisions to make. Her body isn't even developed enough to have a baby really. It will be rough. I think what you should do is remind your friend that there is a few available options to them. One is abortion( which I personally disagree with, unless it is for medical circumstances). Adoption....and the last is keeping the baby and either raising it herself, or helping her daughter raise it. The choice is theirs and they would do alot better off without being judged by others who have no idea what they are feeling right now.
****As for the person that said it was the mother's fault....Maybe they should realize that parents can't control EVERYTHING that happens with their kids. There is no one at fault here...Just a few bad choices have been made.
2007-02-12 05:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have laid down and committed a sin but whats growing in the inside of that little girl didn't . If you love her at all or the baby she is going to need you to help her for the baby's sake ! Let her know what she has done wrong and let her do most of the work when it comes to taking care of the baby . When you see that she may need your help Please help . Help the 12 year old make good decision and let her finish school to the end ! It may be hard on the mom and you as a friend but realize the deed is done . Now it is time to do right by showing love no matter how wrong or mad you are at her.
2007-02-12 03:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by Me777 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I know this may be a difficult situation ,but there is nothing she can do. What is done is done. She has to face reality. Carrie can give love to her daughter and help her. The girl's boyfriend should help her with her pregnancy and be a man. I mean he is a man now and will become a father soon. Just tell carrie to give her daughter much love and care and to make sure her daughter understand that what she did was wrong. Sure she may be mad but everyone makes mistakes and unfortunatley this happen
2007-02-12 05:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong she is only 12!!! She can't even take care of herself how can she take care of a baby?! She isn't old enough to get a job how is she going to support herself and the baby? I'm sure whoever the baby's daddy is is too young to want to deal with it. Tell her to give it up for adoption so the baby can have a good life. She is to young to be responsible for a baby. What would you do if you were her age and having a baby? Think about it.
2007-02-12 04:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by lem 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your friend and her daughter need some type of counseling. What is going on in that household? How did a 12 year old manage to get herself pregnant? Where was her mother and father when all of this was going on? Her mother feeling sorry for her is unacceptable. She is just as much to blame as her daughter. Feel sorry for her my butt!!!! That's just plain crazy. You are right. I would have a hard time sympathizing with this situation also. At 12, kids are supposed to be supervised. Obviously this child was not. Lack of parenting skills. Does the mother realize how dangerous it is for a 12 to carry a baby full term and give birth? And what about that poor baby? Who'd going to take care of that innocent little person? You really can't do anything. This is something that your friend and her daughter are going to have to figure out on their own.
2007-02-12 04:55:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I mean the 12 year old feels bad already because she has done this to her self and her mother, but i don't think someone should be fussing her at saying things like you should have closed you're legs, that makes anyone feel like a "ho". Its no sense in putting the girl down. I believe you and you're friend should help her out and support her and tell her to be Strong!
2007-02-12 06:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by [[<3]] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong, it's the little kid (yes, she is a little kid)'s idea to open her legs, and she has to suffer the consequences.
I would offer her and her mother all the support you want, but don't necassarily be there for her whenever she needs you. She made REALLY stupid choices and she deserves to know what it's like to be a single mother, at least every once in a while !
2007-02-12 05:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋