whenever i come home from work my wife is still with her nighty full of babies sick marks. so i ask so much if she just would look nice for me. she is full time mum and very good house wife.when i come dinner is ready table ready house clean our twin babies well. but i wish she could look after herself more.do i ask too much?!!
2007-02-12 03:43:18 · 50 answers · asked by loren 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are a pig
2007-02-12 04:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by \ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, be patient. Here is the thing, if she looked nice before babies came along, chances are, she will return to looking nice in due time. Just so you know, babies are a handful and twins are very physically demanding. I counted and just nursing one new baby takes over 20 hours a week, that is a part time job. Then throw in all the diapers, laundry, feeding, bathing, dressing, teaching, and playing, you have a full time job and that doesn't include all she does for you, and that is just ONE baby, it sounds like you guys have twins. Plus, when mom's get up with babies during the night, several times for months on end, it can really make a person tired all the time during the day.
Listen, it sounds like she has a good start of getting back into the swing of things because she does so much already. Be supportive of her and when you do catch her dressed up looking nice, make sure you let her know how beautiful she is. Also, remember with lack of sleep and hormones from pregnancy, a woman can be susceptible to depression. The worst thing you could do is say put her down, constantly remind her of your disappointment, or compliment her but add something like "I wish you would be this way all the time."
Just remind her you love her, help out with babies to give her a nice needed break, and know that as the babies become more independent, she will have more time to take care of herself.
2007-02-12 04:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give her a good reason to get dressed up, a nice night out in a favourite restaurant, with a babysitter she trusts at home with the twins.
You didn't say how old the twins were but my guess that looking after the twins is a full time job, and at the end of the day she is exhausted
If she is suffering from postnatal depression she may need a chat with her GP. Don't ask me about that thou, I am a man
I would also suggest you do some of the chores she has to do day in day out. Laundry Make a meal or two, send her out for a few hours and you look after the twins.
If her mother or sisters are in the same town talk to them,they may know what is wrong, or be able to talk with her
Good Luck, anyway
2007-02-12 04:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Murray H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to guess she doesn't care about how she looks for the same reason you don't care that you don't caplitalize your Is or add spaces or write in full proper English sentences... too much time is being spent concentrating on the real issue... in other words, for her, it is cleaning, cooking and caring for the babies, how she looks is an after thought.. just like for you, writing the question to get opinions, spelling and grammar are after thoughts. Why don't you try hiring a babysitter or getting a family member to watch the babies for a day or two so you can take your wife to a nice dinner or something.. with the extra time I'm sure she'll groom herself and look nice for you.
2007-02-12 03:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lil Gal 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... let's try these exercises.
First, take one day off the office and stay at home. Observe what your wife is doing from start to finish, and see for yourself what she's doing, etc. Take another day off, and tell your wife to have that day off, and you do all the things that she does during the whole day. See how you like it.
Second, tell your wife that she shouldn't bother with taking care of the kids nor cooking for you. Hire a nanny to take care of the kids and tell her that you're taking her out to an ultra-fancy dinner and that she should bother looking good for you. Tell her to go to the spa, and whatever. Then, tell her during dinner that you'd like her to take care of how she looks a bit more.
Thing is, most women try too hard to do these household chores well. And in the end, forgetting that part of the reason the men marry them is because of their appearances. I think, it would be a good idea to provide her with some help so that she could take care of herself a bit more. And of course, it would help if you actually ask her, too, so she knows what you want. Of course, all these should be done after you have a taste of what she's going through during the day normally. That way, you can really feel how she feels before asking a bit more out of her.
2007-02-12 03:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by babyLemon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I are also the parents of twin babies! I too have complained when I come home at the end of the day to see her wearing the same pajamas that she's been wearing for the last 3 days without showering! She too is a stay at home wife/mom, and looks absolutely SMOKING when she showers, puts on some make up, and dresses nice! But have you ever had to watch your twins for a few hours at a time on your own? If you have, then you already know how tiring it is to watch not one but TWO babies that want 100% of your attention! Imagine doing that all day long, every single day, seven days a week! I too wouldn't mind my wife taking a shower and getting dressed in the mornings. And we're working on that! But give your wife a break! And if you want to see her all dressed up looking hot and sexy, then get grandma to watch the twins and take her out to dinner and some cocktails! I'm sure she wouldn't complain if you did! Mine didn't!
2007-02-12 03:52:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If she's taking care of the baby, cleaning the house, AND getting dinner ready on time, then that really doesn't leave time for getting all prettied up! Try to understand what she goes through all day. Frankly, if you want her to be looking great when you get home, then you're going to have to accept that dinner might not be ready when you get home, or the house may not be clean up to your standards. She only has so much time!
EDIT: I didn't notice that you said she's taking care of twins! I really don't see how you can expect her to look decent under those circumstances!
2007-02-12 03:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't ask to much but you do expect too much. If you want her to look after herself better it is going to have to start with you looking after her a little better too. Send her on a spa day. This Saturday you stay home with the kids and make sure to keep the house clean, the babies fed and changed, and you make sure to have her a wonderful dinner prepared for her return. Now when she walks in the house go take a long look in the mirror. How sexy do you look? Also one rule is that you are not allowed under any circumstances to call in reinforcements. It is not that your wife does not want to look good or look after herself it is that she is so busy looking after you and the kids that she can't do it for herself. There are just not enough hours in the day.
2007-02-12 03:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't.
But do you help her sometimes?
Why not buy her something nice to wear as a present, and ask her to wear it for you, without forgetting to compliment her on how good she looks.
She's trying to make sure that according to her, the most important is sorted: that is you and the baby.
It's up to you to remind her how important she is equally.
Why not book a baby sitter and take her out somewhere nice, just some time for the two of you, so that she can remember what if feels like to be a woman again.xx
2007-02-12 07:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE BEING SO INSENSITIVE!!!!!! did you just marry your wife just because she looks good ??? she have twins for crying out loud! it's not easy taking care of babies, cleaning the house ,cooking and still serves you! so try being considerate you are definitely hurting her feelings!!! you think you are tired bec. your working?? her job ..yes I said it right being a full-time housewife & taking care of your kids is a full time job and I bet you can't last 2 minutes if your in her shoes!
give her a slack now, if your a good husband why don't you ask someone you know to take care of your kids while you take your wife somewhere nice where she will actually all dress up! take her somewhere nice on valentine's day... have some respect to your wife. you should be thankful she is not like other wives you want you to watch the kids while she goes partying or something! have some respect ! your insulting her!
2007-02-12 03:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by irel 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, as a Mother of Twins you DO ask to much.
I couldn't even get in the shower most days. I think it is horribly selfish of you to complain that a woman that stays home to raise your Children, that isn't at her high point in life now needs the extra burden of needing to please her Husband. For the time, your Children will come first. Think for once how SHE feels not being able to get herself together right now. If she is a first time mom, even harder. Find a babysitter and take her out for dinner, give her a reason to join the human race again and have the pleasure of going out with her Husband. Be careful, many marriages problems begin right at this time. I really do wish you both luck....have a great time with your twins too!
2007-02-12 04:11:41 · answer #11 · answered by swiss girl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋