My boyfriend of over two years has really wanted a threeway. He has always had that fantasy. I'm hesitant for fear of what it could do to our relationship. I've heard horror stories about the aftermath. I know he loves me. I know it would be meaningless sex. Should I still worry?
2007-02-12 03:30:21 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I would still worry
2007-02-12 03:36:39 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
If you're not sure, dont do it. You could try buying books or reading sites on the internet about how to have a wilder and more exciting sex life rather than seeing adding another person as the only way to improve things. Since he's no longer with his ex-boyfriend, with whom he did have threesomes, it doesn't say much for the ability of a threesome to extend or improve the relationship. If you are interested, but just nervous, can you work out what exactly makes you nervous, and get reassurance about that from him first? If he cant reassure you, then dont go ahead with it, and if he isn't happy with that, maybe you would be better off taking up one of those offers you get all the time.
2016-05-24 00:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) My lover and I have 3 ways all the time...big deal. There is no threat to the relationship, and in fact, it is usually more boring than the fantasy.
2) BETTER to have a 3rd that satisfies both tastes and wants what both of you want. IF you, as a pair, are top and bottom, you are going to have a problem with finding a 3rd. Strangest part of all this is, it is usually the top that gets jealous watching his partner on bottom with someone else...hmmmmm the top thinks nothing or running around doing anything and everyone he can, but gets jealous at seeing his partner enjoy someone else.
3) IF you are very, very secure in your relationship, a 3rd is not going to damage anything. If you are NOT, don't even think about it.
4) Rule : no more than once with a 3rd.
2007-02-12 04:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you will have a threeway with a woman right after you have a three way with another man. See if that shuts him up. Or just be swingers like hubby and I and have both a male and a female over.
2007-02-12 05:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by Tatts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my boyfriend have three ways all the time. It has made our relationship a lot better and stronger because...we love eachother. In order to have a three way, you need to love and trust eachother enough to know that when its all over and done with You both will still be together and happy like before it happened. ALSO if you don't let him live out his fantasies he might go find someone that will let him do it, but then again he should respect you so you just really need to talk to him about it.
2007-02-12 03:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by ~Jamaica~ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, Do you know the aftermath of not having a threeway? He will get it somewhere else. Who know, you might like it. My girl wants the same and she wants to choose the girl. Do it, but you choose the girl and the terms. He just wanna **** two women.
2007-02-12 04:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Matthew M 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, I would say that you are a very lucky girl, in that he was able to communicate this fantasy of his, with you, as opposed to hiding it from you and doing something behind your back! That, right there, shows he cares for you! This would be, in my opinion, one reason to lessen some of that worry of yours.
As far as having a threeway... I think it sounds like it is something you both should seriously discuss. It sounds, to me, like you are not totally dismissing the idea, but DO hold some reservations about it (based on "things you've heard").
My wife and I are swingers, and we LOVE sharing sexual experiences with others. We ARE completely in love with each other, and have no fear about losing each other to another. The experience of being able to share what we love, with others, has truly brought us closer in our relationship. It has allowed us to be honest with each other about our fantasies and to live them out w/o having to hide anything.
However, it also took a lot of talking before hand. We made sure we had discussed everything before hand. In other words, we kind of set up rules and boundries as to what we would be ok with and what we wouldn't be ok with. This was very important, because if you go into something like this blindly, you WILL be left w/ those possible "horror stories."
So, to answer your question... I would say that the only real "horror story" you would have would be your own, if you went thru with this threeway idea blindly. However, if you sit down with your boyfriend and have an open and honest discussion with him about this whole idea, you can lay a lot of those worries aside.
If you and your boyfriend are truly secure and happy in your relationship, and believe you BOTH might actually enjoy experiencing something like a threeway, then the best thing to do is just communicate with each other about everything. Then find someone you BOTH can trust, to be that 3rd party. That way there are no loose ends, and you all can enjoy yourselves w/o worry.
Hope this helps.
2007-02-12 03:33:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Are you really willing to risk your love with the person you care about for a fantasy..plus if you really love your bf as much as you say you do...do you really want to share him with someone! Let me tell you from my personal past being in a three some only leads to nothing but problems...you risk sooooo much to gain so little, be careful and I would differently think about it before going through it!
2007-02-12 04:26:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know it would be meaningless sex then go for it! though rather than use someone who might get hurt or stuck in the middle use a hooker that way your boi will get his fantasy and you get your boi back at the end no harm no foul, live a little lifes to short to worry wondering about it jump into life!!!!!
2007-02-12 03:40:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know several couples who frequently have threesomes and it hasn't harmed their relationships because they have agreed-upon limits going into the threesome. They have discussed the options and possibilities openly and honestly beforehand. So I have to disagree with the others and say don't worry. If you know he loves you and it would be meaningless sex, then there shouldn't be a problem.
2007-02-12 04:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by behrmark 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly it isn't the worst thing that can occur. Years ago my EX and I used to indulge that way, it wasn't an issue because we both knew who we were devoted to, the breakup came because of his alcoholism and violence, it had nothing to do with a threeway.
2007-02-12 03:35:49 · answer #11 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋