I have just found out I'm 6 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion. Ive always been against abortion (because I see it as murder, and I have told him this) but now Im considering it, and I feel guilty already. I dont want to mess up my boyfriends life by having the baby. But Im not in a great situation: we both go to college and we both dont have a job and we are both 16.
I really dont know what to do, Im extremely depressed at the moment, and have thought about suicide rather then having an abortion. And I think if I have an abortion, Ill get more depressed afterwards and I wont be able to live with myself. Though if I go for the adoption choice, both of our parents will kill us when they find out Im pregnant. And I cant see how we can support the baby by ourselves, plus my boyfriend says that its my choice but then goes onto saying that abortion is the best logical decision.
I feel trapt.
I dont know what to do, does anyone have any advice for me?
2007-02-12 03:12:08 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
YOU'RE BOTH 16 AND IN COLLEGE ALREADY??? SMART ENOUGH TO GET AHEAD ACADMICALLY BUT DUMB ENOUGH TO GET PREGNANT AND NOT TAKE ACCOUNT OF YOUR ACTIONS????
2007-02-12 03:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by babeebluez73 3 · 3⤊ 8⤋
If you have a moral predicament with having an abortion, while you may feel some relief after receiving it, you may be plagued with guilt for the rest of your life. It's a totally personal choice.
I became pregnant in college and had an abortion at 17. I am prochoice. I have never, ever regretted it. I am pregnant now with my husband's child and I am 11 years older. Although I have started to feel a little guilt as I read how developed my baby is becoming, I still am 100% certain that I made the right choice for ME at that time. As I look back on how different my life would have been, I know that I chose correctly, but that is me, and only you can make the choice for yourself.
As for not willing to pursue adoption because of your parents, perhaps you should have thought about them and this possibility when you were having unprotected sex at 16! My boyfriend at the time and I discussed what would happen if I became pregnant before having sex, and it was only after we were comfortable with that choice before we began having sex. Our precautions apparently did not work, and my pregnancy was a huge wake up call for me that I needed to go on the pill, which I did immediately after.
Only you can make this choice, since you must live with yourself for the rest of your life. Chances are that your boyfriend won't be around forever, so I wouldn't worry too much about pleasing him. If you are seriously suicidal, you might consider confiding in a friend or your mother, just to get some support. This is not an easy decision, but only you can make it.
2007-02-12 03:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I know people that felt the had not choice but to have an abortion, and the regret it for the rest of their life. If you believe that life begins at conception, you could be on these people. You can not undo an abortion. You are 16, did you talk to your mom yet?
How about adoption. Have the baby, and give to a loving couple that can not have a child of their own. You boyfriend can not be against this.
I see adoption as an act of love
Please talk to you mom
Also look into adoptions
Good luck
2007-02-12 03:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Halo Mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If YOU don't want to have an abortion, DON'T. He can't force you to have one. You two both made the choice to have sex and this is the consequence of that choice.
Do what's in your heart. Seek help from your parents, friends, family, minister, or whoever.
Chances are, your parents will find out either way. A 16 year old can't just go into a doctors office and ask for an abortion. Parent consent is necessary for such medical procedures.
It's time to make a grown up decision. Do what you think will be best.
A bit of warning, though. Abortions are dangerous to your body. It's an extremely emotional event.
Good luck.
2007-02-12 03:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by casey_leftwich 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't have the abortion because your boyfriend is forcing you to. Do you honestly think that he would stick around even if you did? You are only 16! You are afraid of messing up this life by having this baby? He is messing up your life by forcing you to do something that you are against! Do you really think he is taking your feelings into consideration? Of course not. He is thinking only about himself and how this will ruin his freedom. Are you worried that he will leave you if you have this baby? So what?! Obviously you are against abortion, so keep this baby. I have never had an abortion myself, but I can honestly say that if you do have one, you will feel 10 times worse than you do at this moment. You will have to live with that decision (having an abortion) for the rest of your life.
I honestly think you should talk to your parents about this one.
Good luck!
2007-02-12 03:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by Chewie 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you feel that strongly about abortions, you shouldn't have one, you will never forgive yourself. Consider having the child adopted. There are millions of couples out there who can't have children who would love to give that baby a home.
It's your body, it's your choice. It's got nothing to do with your boyfriend at all.
Tell your parents as soon as you can. It won't be an easy conversation but putting it off will only make it worse.
Good luck sweetheart. I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but it's not. You will get through this.
2007-02-12 03:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
This is your choice, not your boyfriend. You will have to live with this for the rest of your life. There is always adoption. If you do this because of him.. you will hate him and this will hurt your relationship anyway. Your parents will be upset.. but knowing that you are making a responsible decision and giving up the baby for adoption would make them respect you. Parents love their children no matter what. It will be hard. But you can make this work out. Depression is not a fun and it will consume your life if you get an abortion. You are showing vital signs now and it will only get worse. There are people out there right now.. praying for a baby to adopt and you could fulfill their dreams and know that you are making the best decision. Please think about it and do what is best for the baby.
Her Decision
She made the hardest decision in her world
A decision that changed all the lives involved
Especially her own and those that would be taking her place
She was giving away part of her heart that she'd never replace
No matter what she'd do that piece would be gone forever
She was giving up her baby girl
That little baby she loved enough to let go
She knew that the baby was going to be in safe hands
She knew that the people who now have become her Parents will
Always love that baby as their very own daughter!
Though she was heart-broken about letting her baby go,
It was the best thing for them all
So on that warm July day
She said a Prayer and cried alittle
Peacefully told her baby girl goodbye with her decision. . .
Vicky Thibodeaux
2007-02-12 03:21:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Wow, well don't worry about what he's going to think. You should stick to your word and not get an abortion because in my eyes it is murder and I'm sure you would regret that for the rest of your life. I know your young but we all make mistakes and learn from them so have the baby. If you can't take care of the baby the best option would be to give him/her up for adoption. I'm sure some other family would gladly appreciate it because there's women out there who can't have children and you would be doing them a big favor. In my eyes adoption is the best thing rather than an abortion. Good luck !!
2007-02-12 03:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by *~Pretty Smile~* 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Don't have the abortion there are many ways you can choose adoption, keep him. Abortion is MURDER no matter what your stupid boyfriend says. Here are some ways that they perform abortions i hope this changes your mind.
First Trimester Abortions:
Suction aspiration or "vacuum curettage," is the abortion technique used in most first trimester abortions. A
powerful suction tube with a sharp cutting edge is inserted into the womb through the dilated cervix. The suction dismembers the body of the developing baby and tears the placenta from the wall of the uterus, sucking blood, amniotic fluid, placental tissue, and fetal parts into a collection bottle.
The members of the child have to be carefully recounted, to make sure there is no one left.
Great care must be taken to prevent the uterus from being punctured during this procedure, which may cause hemorrhage and necessitate further surgery. Also, infection can easily develop if any fetal or placental tissue is left behind in the uterus. This is the most frequent post-abortion complication.
Dilatation (Dilation) and Curettage (D&C)
In this technique, the cervix is dilated or stretched to permit the insertion of a loop shaped steel knife. The body of the baby is cut into pieces and removed and the placenta is scraped off the uterine wall. Blood loss from D & C, or "mechanical" curettage is greater than for suction aspiration, as is the likelihood of uterine perforation and infection.
RU 486
The so-called " French abortion pill," the RU 486.very dangerous http://www.abortionismurder.org/methods.shtml
Methotrexate
The procedure with methotrexate is similar to the one using RU 486, though administered by an intramuscular injection instead of a pill. Even more dangerous http://www.abortionismurder.org/methods.shtml
Second Trimester Abortions:
Salt Poisoning
Otherwise known as "saline amniocentesis," "salting out," or a "hypertonic saline" abortion, this technique is used after 16 weeks of pregnancy, when enough fluid has accumulated in the amniotic fluid sac surrounding the baby. A needle is inserted through the mother’s abdomen and 50-250 ml (as much as a cup) of amniotic fluid is withdrawn and replaced with a solution of concentrated salt. The baby breathes in, swallowing the salt, and is poisoned. The chemical solution also causes painful burning and deterioration of the baby’s skin. Usually, after about an hour, the child dies. The mother goes into labor about 33 to 35 hours after instillation and delivers a dead, burned, and shriveled baby.
Urea
Because of the dangers associated with saline methods, other instillation methods such as hypersomolar urea are sometimes employed.
Dilatation (Dilation) and Evacuation (D&E)
Used to abort unborn children as old as 24 weeks, this method is similar to the above D&C. The difference is that forceps with sharp metal jaws are used to grasp parts of the developing baby, which are then twisted and torn away. This continues until the child’s entire body is removed from the womb. Because the baby’s skull has often hardened to bone by this time, the skull must sometimes be compressed or crushed to facilitate removal.
Prostaglandin Chemical Abortion
This form of abortion uses chemicals developed by Upjohn Pharmaceutical Co. which cause the uterus to contract intensely, pushing out the developing baby. The contractions are so abnormally severe that babies have even been decapitated. Many, however, have also been born alive. The side effects to the mother are many - a number have died from cardiac arrest when the compounds were injected.
Hysterotomy 2nd and 3rd Trimesters:
Similar to the Caesarean Section. Incisions are made in the abdomen and the baby removed. Babies are born alive during this procedure, raising questions as to how and when these infants are killed and by whom. The child is allowed to die by neglect and sometimes killed by a direct act.
2007-02-12 04:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
First, you do not have to do anything you don't want to do not matter what the situation is. I am sure if you sit down with your parents and tell them exactly what is going on they will support you. They will probably be upset at first, you can't blame them. You are their daughter, they love you. You can put this baby up for adoption and give him/her the life you can't. This child is a gift. Please don't do anything until you talk to your parents. Your boyfriend sounds like he is just scared. You both need to step up and talk to your parents. Killing a living being is never a logical decision. If you are mature enough to be having intercourse then you are mature enough to sit down and have a conversation with your parents (since you are a minor), and figure out what is they best for the baby. There are many families in this world who would love to give your baby a happy and healthy home if you feel you cannot. I have a niece who was adopted. I pray for her biological mother and thank her for giving her baby the life she deserves. You have many options. Please talk to your family and let them help you. If they can't help you talk to someone who can!
2007-02-12 03:32:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes i do have advice for you. I have been in your shoes before, i was 17, and the guy that i got preg by my parents hated. I was also having problem with my face breaking out and i was taking medication for it. The pills that i was taking said not to get preg. that it could cause birth defects. Well guess what i ended up preg. I was so scared to tell my parents, cause they would "kill me and him" Well i wrote a letter to a friend of mine and was telling her about it and my mom found it before i could get it mailed. She was so mad at me!!! i had to call my dad and he was so upset with me, that was the first time that i ever heard my dad cry. I felt so bad. Well we had to go get a doc oppinion. He suggested that i did not have the baby ( an abortion) I was like you i did not think that was right. and it was not fair..... I had to go through with it tho. it was really hard and it still is.. i still think that i could have another child. You are right, your parents will be mad, but remember they will always love you no matter what. and there is people out there that want kids but can not have them, you should think about that.. have an open adoption, it is not a bad thing. You need to do what is right for you, and dont worry about what every one will think. I know that it is hard, and i know that by experience!!! I is hard work raising a baby, but always remember God will never give you more then you can handle!! if you need someone to talk to you, you can e-mail me at bdmrplemons@yahoo.com
2007-02-12 03:24:48 · answer #11 · answered by bdmrplemons 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋