One of my best friends died just over a year ago. I miss her terribly. Her husband and I were not friends but he is a very nice man. He is not from this country and there is a language barrier between us. I had intended to stay in touch with him but everytime I think or speak about her to him I start crying. I cant help him with his grief because I have a hard time with my own. I feel guilty for not being there for him. I have tried but everytime I see him it is a reminder that she is gone. What would you do if you were me?
2007-02-12 03:10:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You guys are great. Today is my friend's birthday. She died in her sleep suddenly. It was two weeks after my wedding. Thank you for your support. It means so much to me.
2007-02-12 03:25:33 · update #1
Just send him a card every once in awhile to let him know you care and still have him in your prayers. Send the cards throughout the year, especially around the time of her birthday, his birthday, their anniversary, the anniversary of her death, etc.
Maybe once a year you can make a contribution to a charity in her memory and tell the organization to make an acknowledement to her family.
He will appreciate it more than you know.
2007-02-12 03:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by TPhi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not a terrible person, but you do need to take some time out to visit with this man, particularly since you say she was one of your best friends. Stop looking inward and look at what he's going through. How must he feel, seeing that his wife's best friend doesn't come around
It's been over a year since your friend died. You should be able to venture out now and spend at least a few comforting moments with your best friend's husband. Don't use the grieving process as an excuse.
2007-02-12 03:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its very difficult when someone so close to you die. i know what you are going through one of my friends died recently i miss her everyday ,everyday i think about her , she was so young. if i was you i would try to be there for him even tho it hurts when you see him you are reminded of her . being there for him shows how much you care. sometimes its good to cry people think that when you cry that a sense of weakness but they are wrong crying helps ease the pain . so be there for him and assure him that one day the bible promises you will see him again read the promise for him in john5;28,29 assuring of the resurrection hope that hope is what keep me going.
2007-02-12 03:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by beautiful carribean princess 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your loyalty remains with her. You absolutely are not a bad person. As a matter of fact most people wouldn't stay in contact with her husband. They would send an annual Holiday card and that's about it. If she had children, that would be a different matter...You would be expected to stay in contact with them.
2007-02-12 03:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not terrible...but you need to accept the fact that living things do not live forever. Remember the good times as happy memories.
2007-02-12 03:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not selfish. You are both grieving and whilst it can be helpful for some people to talk about it, everyone grieves in different ways. Just make sure he knows this and that you are not just trying to avoid him.
2007-02-12 03:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i wouldn't think about her death i would think of the happier times we shared together, as when you try talking to him do the same, talk about how she used to do things and the good side of her, it will also most likely let her rest in peace knowing that you guys remember her in a good way
2007-02-12 03:17:12 · answer #7 · answered by LC6 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to be honest i would avoid being around him but you do need to be there for him maybe u and him need to go see a counselor to help u get over your grief.
2007-02-12 03:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by mimi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
grief has no time limit. take as much time as you need.
2007-02-12 03:45:29 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't terrible, you shouldn't feel that it's your job to care for him - if you can't do it, you can't do it.
2007-02-12 03:13:31 · answer #10 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋