My bf had a viagra pill in the cabinet where we keep our medicine. Something told me to look for it this morning...SUPRIZE!!! It's gone! We haven't had sex in about 7 months, due to a heart condition that he takes medicine for (supposedly the meds do that to you...) Anyway, his response to me "accusing" him of cheating was "If you're going to doubt me after 5 years, get your **** and get out of my house." #1. I thought this was OUR house. #2. Why does he ALWAYS get SO defensive about that conversation? and #3. Since the pill just "dissappeared", my guess he is cheating...What's your opinion? This is a very serious matter because I have 2 kids and a dog and 2 cats that I also have to take into consideration. I am not in the position to just "up and move".
2007-02-12 03:03:25 · 15 answers · asked by BRIDGIE74 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You could be over-reacting and for all you know, it must have been misplaced. Please search the house again. Like those other opinion, you can blame him completely unless you have the actual truth.
2007-02-12 03:12:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't write this, but it's from a page in my diary I'm sure...Ok, second question first, he's defensive because he can't preform as a man and for some gosh awful reason they blame the female for it, I usually get "your nagging about it all the time doesn't help any" and I swear all I say is wouldn't you like to try. And question #3 I'd say he might have taken it to see what would happen and could be nothing and he's ashamed/mad at himself and doesn't want you to know it/he failed, kind of refers to #2 question. My guy doesn't have heart problems, his is weight and he thinks because he is heavy he is no longer attractive sexually and it has played a mind game on him and he got some viagra and what he can't understand is if his mind tells him he is unappealing then all the viagra in the world won't shut his thoughts off. He went to the doctor right before my birthday and got his perscription, to my knowledge he only tried it twice and both times it didn't work as he thought it should, I was cleaning out the night stand and saw where the pills were gone, I asked him and at first he tried to say he didn't know where they were then he said he took them but he might as well have taken an asprin for all the good they did him. What did I think? I think he doubled up on them. I love my guy, yes I'd like more physical romance from him but never would I think he used them for an affair. I have also been with my fiancee going on 4 years now, it is his home we live in but the bills and all we own are 50/50, I have a dog and he had a male (he died Thanksgiving) but we have 2 pups of theirs, so it would be hard to just move out on a whim, too. We talk, we don't always agree but we compromise on some things that become issues. I have a biggie coming up that is going to put a strain on our relationship but before bringing up anything I am weighing all the posibilities so when we do sit down and talk hopefully ideas for a compromise will surface. Hope this helped
2007-02-12 11:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is another possibility. You need to know what are the possible side effects of the meds he is taking for his heart condition. His doctor or a pharmacist can tell you whether he can or cannot take Viagra because of that condition. If he was told absolutely not, he may have just thrown it out. His defensiveness may be a result of this reality.
2007-02-12 11:54:27 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, his response came out of left field. He could have said he took it to see how it went, or he dropped it in the sink by accident, and it got all wet, (which he could have) or any number of other things. If that were the case, I would assume he would just say that, but to get so defensive would lead me to believe otherwise. How has your relationship been going otherwise? Do you contribute to the house payments/rent? Utilities? If so, then it is just as much your house as his, and if you two are having serious problems, then it would be easier if he moved out. Can you swing paying for everything yourself? Maybe it's time for a discussion about your relationship. Tell him you don't want to fight, you just want to talk. Ask him to please not get defensive, that you just want to know where the two of you stand. After 5 years, maybe it's time to go to the next level with getting married. You stood by him during his whole medical ordeal. Does he see you more in the nurse role or the lover role? Anyway, I think he's cheating, but that's just my opinion. Good luck.
2007-02-12 11:19:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of this scenario on becoming single by looking at the bigger picture... if he has a heart condition then Viagra isn't necessarily his best option right now. Considering the severity of his condition - Viagra could have long-term side-effects or even worse - it could cause death. Viagra (in a non-medical diatribe) increases blood flow and his heart condition could be the negative benefactor. Just a little food for thought.
2007-02-12 11:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Cdub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you did say he has a heart condition give the man a break
and dont accuse him and make such a big fuss oversome thing so small may be the dog took the viagra you did say you have two children and a dog. "life is good" if he cheats it does mean you are no good embrace every day you are given and know that happiness comes from within and not without.
2007-02-12 11:17:22 · answer #6 · answered by jose b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a heart condition, I'm sure using the Viagra wouldn't be a smart choice. Staying clear of the pill, and remaining cautious of his heart condition should be in his best interest, as of this moment. No one should be dumb enough to endanger themselves simply for pleasure. Reevaluate the possibilities of what could've been done with the pill, for instance, it was thrown away.....?
2007-02-12 11:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by kz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you found him with his winkie where it was not supposed to be then you would have solid grounds to accuse him of cheating. If he is the one with a heart condition then he may not be able to safely take Viagra. With the pill just sitting around it may have passed it's useful date and was gotten rid of...or he may have tossed them just because he figured that he couldn't need them.
2007-02-12 11:08:27 · answer #8 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as a man, it sounds to me like he very well might be cheating, if a guy gets all defencive bout something like that either means they are ashamed of something like they feel less of a man, or they are lieing, NOT a 100% thing, but to me sounds like he is all signs point to yes, inless he gives you a good reason with out yelling or screaming, but if he is having heart probs he might also just be thinking of other things an dthat is y he is getting all pissed, but sounds to me you need to sit down and have a LONG talk with him and if he wont........leave.....go live with your mom, sis, bro, dad for bout a week and im' sure he will come around and want to talk then
2007-02-12 11:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by dom_parnell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't have sex with you due to a medical condition, what makes you feel he can have sex with anyone else?
The dog and cats will be fine, I am sure.
Something told you to look for it? Sounds a little fishy to me.
btw buy a house with a husband, not a boyfriend.
2007-02-12 11:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋