i am 19 weeks preg. i love my boyfrend to bits. he has been trying to come of cannibas and vallium which he is addicted too. he was arrested last fri for driving under the influence. i have the support of all his family and mine so we are trying our best to heelp him and he is trying to help himself. he is staying with his mum for a while to get himself straight. his mum rang me last week to say he had been out, aftter, i had come to see him. he went to a houseparty of his friends who happen to be female. She lived near his mum. then they all went out and got plastered drunk. I heard about this the next day. He told me that these girls are not even real friends that he was out with his male friends. i feel helpless. i feel like givin up on thids relationship. Is he even acting like he should be? i feel he should be supportive considering i am preg. Is it unfair of me to ask him not to be going to house partys and contacting female mates and hanging with them, Will he change?
2007-02-12 02:26:09 · 11 answers · asked by kelly h 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he is living with his mum because i am doing my degree in uni but he was due to move in with me when i finish in 2 months. i am 20.
2007-02-12 02:37:07 · update #1
This could be all part of the process. as with any relationship it depends on how much you love that person Its so hard, because even id you love him that much there is so much you can take. He has to reallly want to help himself. Psychologically he could be testing you to see how far he can push you before you snap and if you do plit, it may or may not work, you could push him away altogether. Perhaps in your area there is a health place that could support you both together and seperatly...for him he needs one to one suppport from a trained professional as he will have deep issues to deal with, for you to help support you and tell you how you can best support him and together to support and understand each other.
as i said, it depends on how much you love him and how much he Really wants to help himself. also haveing a baby (is it his/ your first) is very scarey and i would that this could be playing a part of whats happening to him (and you) I think you need to talk to him.
Good luck xxx
2007-02-12 02:37:45 · answer #1 · answered by soxpippa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck. it does not sound like change is in the picture yet as he really does not admit to having a problem. He may say so but his actions say differently. Right now you need to be concerned with your health and the health of the unborn child. If the man you care about wants to get on the wagon with you then he will need to make some changes with his life. It is not unreasonable to ask this however you cannot expect him to do everything your way or to give up friendships either. You really need to discuss this with him and see where the two of you should go from there. When we as women are expecting little bundles of joy some times we feel very insecure about our selves and therefore our insecurity's follow thru in our relationship. Just talk to your man and I hope all works well for you.
2007-02-12 02:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by mellow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you tolerate his behaviour he will never change, doesn't sound like a recipe for a happy future. He cant support you honey as he can support himself and no amount of help you or anyone else gives him will do anything unless he wants it for himself, and from what you say he doesn't want it enough right now. Build your life for yourself and your baby at least that way you wont be dependant on him and if it dont work out at least you'll be able to support your baby.
2007-02-12 06:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you love him to bits, the real question is does he love you in the same way. His behaviour would suggest that he does not.. It is admirable that you want to stand by him with his probs, however right now,you need to be taking care of yourself and the baby you are carrying..Ask yourself is all the extra stress and worry caused by your bf what you really need right now...If he is in downward spiral don't allow him drag you down with him....let him go, coz if he really cared for you he would not be doin what he is doing.You have the support of your family network, use it....good luck
2007-02-12 02:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by EZ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's really bad about him,are u preg with his child whome u r talking about? if yes than its really very bad and he is really vry irresponsible,well if you have the determination than you can change him,go ahead with confidence and love,never argue with him just play safe and talk to him in a mild and lovely manner,take help of his mom if she is willing to support you or u can even take u r moms help.i would suggest u to take rest for the next 5-6 months for the ske of your baby and maybe after the child is born it may change him,belive in miracles!
-Best of Luck and take care of your baby
2007-02-12 02:39:02 · answer #5 · answered by 3ut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Preg at 19 and the b/f is an addict what kind of mess have you let yourself into or you are one of them sorry to say but useless,where is your pride .... l better not go on.Good luck
2007-02-12 02:45:08 · answer #6 · answered by TheMan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No more than likely he will NOT change...sorry
why is he living at mum's instead of you???? I think that was your first mistake
Let the bum go...raise your child and be happy...Mr. Right will come along one day
be cool...
2007-02-12 02:29:47 · answer #7 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but i dont see any change in short term
maybe its better if u focus to urself right now , stay calm , treat urself and the baby inside u
2007-02-12 02:32:54 · answer #8 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he NEEDS to change. you're on the verge of bringing a baby into this world. That should be the first priority for BOTH of you right now. Will he change? well... you need to tell him that he NEEDS to for the sake of your child
2007-02-12 02:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by yesterdaysfeelings425 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he will never change. Dump him. Why are you asking this question? It should be obvious to you what to do!
2007-02-12 02:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by Spiny Norman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋