How to save a relationship going downhill?

Question

How do you make a relationship exciting again? Me and my beau have been together for 9 months, and hit something of a rock lately. Everything is taken so seriously, it's just not fun anymore. We constantly keep misunderstanding each other, and getting really hurt in the process. Is there any way to develop the communication and connection so that we are more in tune?

Thank you for any advice.

Thank you for all the advice so far.

On a side note, we have talked about it, and we have agreed to try and communicate more (But he is a very typical man, so I have a feeling it will be mostly me talking). The question is, what more can we do, besides that? How do we make it more easy going and exciting? How can we improve the communication so that we'll just "get" each other?

Maybe I should have mentioned that it's not made any easier by the fact that we live together, but I all honesty, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love him.

Answer 1

wow only 9 months and there is trouble in paradise . My suggestion to you would be to bail out before the downhill ends up in a big dramatic crash

Answer 2

This happens in relationships. Unfortunately it will not be the first time, it will occur again. It's as if your almost getting bored with eachother. If the relationship is real and the connection between eachother is real ( 9 months , so i'll assume yes.) do not worry you`ll see brighter days. Set some fun activities to do together, spend some time doing things you use to do in the beginning of your relationship. Valentine's Day is Two days away, get him an exciting gift you both can enjoy and write him a heart felt card on how you feel about him, and how happy you are that your together 9 months strong. If your very desprate maybe sit him down and just mention that you guys should do something exciting to spice things up, I know he's a man and all but hey he might actually have a few good suggestions..

GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

The only way to develop better communication skills with each other is to talk things over and explain things to him. You guys need to learn when you are kidding and when to take things seriously. Make a pact to not get mad at each other until you've asked to clarify what the person means if you start to get upset. Decide to not let the small stuff get to you. Choose your battles wisely. You shouldn't fight over everything because then you are fighting about nothing really. Talk to him about this and if you guys need some help get some from someone you can both relate to....like a counselor. It would be worth it if you truly love each other and want to make this work.

Answer 4

Yes, communication can be tweaked to help your relationship grow. Try using "I" language when you are talking to your mate. Instead of saying when you did this or that say when this happend I felt like this and when that was said it made me feel like..... Never use the word you because it takes the accusing role and makes your mate automatically defensive. Try working on this together. You may even want to seek counseling. They will help you to understand each other better. All relationships go through things like that. It just means the honeymoon is over and you are going to have to put in some work for this to make it. Any relationship that is successful and lasts requires work. Love is a choice and it isn't a walk through the park. You will have times like this but if you can make it through them you will also have more honeymoon phases and happiness.

Answer 5

well I do know that if your hitting hard rocks at 9 months you better get to the bottom of it as much as you can, if this is something you feel is really worth the effort because in real relationships you'll come to learn take a lot more giving of yourself then you ever before realized when it truly is true love to you. Meaning if this is true love for you and obviously the other person is just falling in the webs of the game you since your seeing it need to try different tactics to get different results than whatever it is your currently doing. Do different things that dont remind either one of your of an ex or drinking or cheating whatever it is that gets you guys going, just make the effort good luck Kim

Answer 6

There are a lot of good thoughts already posted -try a book called "Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus". May help the communication problem if that's all there is. My guess is that one or both of you are getting bored with the relationship and you need a third party to help (If you both want to make it work). Otherwise it may be time to split.

Answer 7

Make a pact to give the other person time to explain themselves before getting their feelings hurt. Sometimes things just don't come out the way they're meant to, so that second chance to explain saves on a lot of heart-ache.

Answer 8

one of the best ways is to get back on track is to take a weekend trip together to find each other. go find a nice hotel and lock the door and talk start by telling her your outlook on life and what you see doing with her in the next 10 year and then ask her the same question and see if you guys can find a common ground. then you will be-able to get back on track.

Answer 9

ANytime a relationship takes TOO MUCH effort this early on, I would be concerned. Do you make enough time for each other OUTSIDE of other freinds? Do you have a date night?? Are you taking the time to do the little things for each other? Send him littel notes telling him how much you love him.. leave them everywhere.. dont seem desparate to hold on if its gone.. but until its over give it everything you have and remember it takes TWO to wreck it and TWO to fix it.

Answer 10

Both of you need to try and get away with other. Try a small trip with just the 2 of you to try and to find that spark that brought you together in the first place. Just get away from everyday life and the stresses it causes. Good luck!