My live-in Boyfriend and I are together for about 4 years now and he told me that he is taking me to a broadway play for Valentine's day. He casually asked me if I would pick up the tab for dinner. Now call me old fashion, but I felt a lil bad about that at first. At the same time, I know he is in a little bit of a financial rut and I could just make treating him to dinner his Valentine gift. I'm torn between old fashioned courting and modern the relationship. We are practically married and have a baby on the way, so I figure married couples normally do this but at the same time, I would like him to make me feel like a lady and treat me to a night out. Opinnions?
Serious answers only please... nonsense will get a negative rating... thanks!
2007-02-12 01:46:50 · 23 answers · asked by s m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Firespider... what do you suggest? I get an abortion so that I can make everyone feel better about me getting married before I have a child? I am an fully grown adult who is more than ready and willing to have a child with my siginificant other... whether married or not. I am in a serious meaningful relationship that could never be determined piece of paper. Who are you to judge me for making a decision to have a child that was not necesarily planned but the greastest excitement of both my boyfriend and my life... I am in a stable relationship and was simply pointing out the fact that it bothered me that my boyfriend asked me to pay not that I am unwilling or would not have offered had he not. We were in the middle of planning wedding when I became preganant we have postponed it becuase it is more important to get ready for the baby. You don't have a clue inside my life or realtaionship to judge me for making the desicion to have a child before I am married.
2007-02-12 02:27:47 · update #1
OK, so he is really tight on cash, but he is STILL buying tickets to a Broadway play - and that is NOTE ENOUGH for you?
So, you want him to experience further financial stress because you want to be treated like a LADY?
Why not treat him like someone you really care about?
It sounds like you are more concerned about feeling "like a lady" than working together as a loving couple to have a nice evening.
If this is typical, you should hold off getting married. Frankly, that kind of attitude is the reason we have a 50% divorce rate.
2007-02-14 08:03:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll take the negative rating. You've been with him for 4 years, you have a baby on the way and he's spending money on a Broadway play, and you're worried about who's paying for dinner?
If you really wanted him to treat you like an old-fashioned lady, then why didn't you get married before you got pregnant? Start worrying about the baby instead of the dinner bill.
Your the one who said you were old fashioned and wanted to be treated like a lady. Shouldn't that hold true for your entire relationship? Or is this just a Valentine thing? You're quite correct, I know nothing about your life except what you put in your question, and your rebuke. If you don't want people's opinions, stop asking questions.
On the other hand, baby aside, I would say that the best suggestion was made by another member, and that was to make him dinner yourself. That would be romantic and intimate.
By the way, I am completely against abortion.
You asked for a serious answer, this is a serious answer.
2007-02-12 09:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by Firespider 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Considering the fact that the two of you are living together and have a child on the way, I would assume you have some shared financial responsibilites within the home.... so, that being said - I wouldn't get too upset over it. The fact that he thought ahead and got tickets to a broadway show (even though money is tight for him) says alot about him - sounds like a good guy. Maybe he spent his "Valentines Day Budget" on the tickets and thinks if you take care of the dinner then you two can have a complete night of romance. Relax about the money - it's only money... enjoy the love you share together. Have a great night with your sweetie!
2007-02-12 10:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Leah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole old fashioned courting thing went out the window when you two started living together. Then you add in the "practically" married with a baby on the way. There's nothing old fashioned about that. Far from it.
So since you're "practically" married there's no reason to pretend your an old fashioned couple and expect him to pick up the tab every time. Buy the dinner.
2007-02-12 09:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by JB 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would say considering you've been together for a nice while. And I can understand your point wanting him to be taking out. If you could come to a compromise and pick up the tab this time round. Ask him when things get better financially could he take you out sometime this year and then you two can have a Valentine's Day makeup? Sometimes, I take my boyfriend out. I hope this was helpful?
2007-02-12 09:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by ********* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am old fashioned too, but I think it's cool to pick up at least part of the tab, too.
I am sure that broadway tickets are not cheap, and by asking you to help out, it shows that he wants you to have a night to remember. He just can't take care of the entire thing.
Instead of going out, why don't you cook dinner for him, something special. It will be cheaper than going out, and it will be more personal. I know I would rather my BF cook me a horrible meal at home than take me out. It's the time that counts:)
Enjoy the show!
2007-02-12 09:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by agentm006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm mixed with modern versus old fashioned beleifs on this as well. I have a similar relationship and honestly for Valentine's I feel he should pick up the tab. It would be different if it were no special occasion. He's had time to plan ahead for this and I think it's in very poor taste for a man to take his lady out for a romantic evening and ask her to pick up the tab, but as a live in couple, it's somewhat different if you two usually split costs.
2007-02-12 09:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In this day and age I think you just about have to share the expenses. Dating is expensive! If he has put out the funds for a broadway play, then you should be happy to treat him to dinner. Plays are expensive.....besides now you don't have to get him a gift. I would be thrilled that my honey wanted to take me to a play and I wouldn't be offended if he couldn't afford dinner too. He is trying to do something really special for you, but he obviously isn't made of money. You have to accept him for what he is and what he is not. Life is about spending quality time with the ones you love...not what's in their wallet! Be thankful he put some thought into your gift....it sure beats a box of chocolates.
2007-02-12 10:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not planning on getting him anything else, maybe that is what he wants for his valentines day gift and I would probably do that if I had the money. But no, I don't think it's ok to ask someone out to dinner and then ask them to pick up the tab.
2007-02-12 09:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by K-E-G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your attitude about this is negative...here's why I think so...You say that he's strapped for cash, you have a baby on the way, New York is not a cheap city to live or party in. If he's paying for the play, you could/should pay for the dinner. I thought Valentine's day was suppose to be about love...not about giving stuff to the women. I'll be so glad when this bogus "holiday for women" is over.
2007-02-12 09:51:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋