I have been in the US Army for 11 years, I want to get out, my husband is deployed ,?

Question

and I want to spend time with my daughter who is having problems in 1st grade, thisis a very serious decision as my career has been good and my pay is good but I feel my home is suffering and I want a different life as I am 36

Answer 1

i feel your decision is right, child first.. but also see the economy side, if it is ok you can surely..

Answer 2

Who is raising this child?
hopefully someone good.
I have to agree, raising your child is a responsibility and a duty beyond any other. Even beyond serving your country. And especially if you are the mother. anyone else it might be different.
you didn't say how long your tour of duty or enlistment is, but you are in the army and if it was your choice then you must honour that decision.
maybe you could ask if there is anyway to leave early, ect, but I'm not sure if thats possible. where i'm from when you sign up there is no way back, it may be different for you as you're a woman and a mother of a young child. you should ask around and see.
In the mean time there are so many ways to keep in touch with others, even in the military.
and it would be good if you have some form of communication with her.

I dont know your situation but I do know motherhood is a duty.
especially when they're so young. so she should be your main burden,your main concern.

many many do not have the means to provide and be there for their kids. but i'm assuming you do. and it should be a very high priority for you. .. in any case.

this was not a question so i guess you only wanted a few comments and maybe advice. thats all I can say towards this. and you will decide what is best for you and your situation.

kudos indeed.

Answer 3

Your daughter will probably have struggles with or without you at home. It is hard on children with parents deployed. You may be able to help her by talking to her and coming up with a game plan. If you have to work anyway, at least the army pays you back after your twenty years and you are only 9 years from that date. If you are happy with your job you should really consider staying. 80% of people hate their jobs or are looking for a new one. If you like it, don't change. But having said that, your children should come first. Its more important that they are happy and doing well than you liking your job, but it is nice to have both. Tough decision. Good luck and don't decide to quickly, take some time to mull it over.

Answer 4

I think you are right to consider getting out of the military to concentrate a little more on your family. I think some of the answerers don't realize what a total commitment the military requires. As you well know, it's not like an ordinary career. My husband was in the military and there was precious little free time and even then he was so exhausted it was hard to have quality time. He was deployed to Iraq when we were first married and the emotional turmoil of that time was so great, I can't imagine how hard it would be on a child. I think you are right that she needs to have at least one parent who can focus on her right now. Is your ETS date approaching or can you appeal to get out since you are both in and she needs your care? (I'm not sure how that works. I know the military is always loathe to let anyone go even when they're really not in condition to serve.) I hope everything works out for you. If you feel you need another job when you get out, be sure to check into government jobs as you would get preference as a veteran. My husband found a really good job as a state employee when he got out of the military. It has good pay and benefits. Check with your local employment office. Kudos to you for looking out for your girl above your career!

Answer 5

Hi friend, yes you are in quite a difficult situation indeed, as our everyday life is changing along with the changing world. One is pulled apart inbetween career and family in these days, you are not alone who is having such problems. As career and family are quite inter-dependent, you need yr high paying job to give good education and life to your self and to your daughter. But at the same time you are not able to atend day today need of staying physically near with your darling daughter, to whome you and your husband have given birth. But you also need to know that soon your daughter also grow up and she will also have to go away from you and home to get education and life of her own! Your present problems don't stay for long, your home is not suffering as much as you think it is suffering. Till then you have to make time for both for your career and also for your family. There is no need to get out of your job at all. Soon you will feel happy as before. You can communicate and exchange personal news in between your job intervels with your family by using cellphone!

Answer 6

You have served the nation enough during the best part of your life. Now your daughter needs you and that is the place you should be in.Never mind the loss in pay and perks-you will manage but your daughter will never get back her years for which she will never forgive you.That is the first priority now.

Answer 7

Good for you.

It's time to start making your child a priority, as should have begun when she was born. When she was born, she never should have spent more than 10 hours/wk apart from mommy. Babies are severely damaged by that.

One of the problems caused by the total neglect and abuse of infants that people call the two career family is that intellect and school performance suffers. For up to twelve years, teachers can pick out the day care kids, studies show.

Far more importantly, the emotional damage done to a child whose mother can't be bothered to raise her, is vast. And probably can't be fixed.

Answer 8

Moving around with the Armed Forces is difficult on the kids. You should look at your financial goals, and things like retirement and health insurance, and weigh those benefits against having a soccer mom for your kids.

Answer 9

Do what is best for your family.

Answer 10

thats nice....and your question is??????