I think I am in love with my boss. I know it is stupid, I have been trying to fight this for months, but the feeling comes back. He is married and I am in a great relationship, but I find myself fantasizing (dangerously) about my boss. He is SO gorgeous, but he can be a bit of an a***le sometimes, well, like all bosses, I suppose. We work quite closely, as I am the "supervisor" in here, so avoiding contacts is not possible. I keep telling myself that is a dangerous situation to be in, but I am not listening....
It´s not like I want to cheat or anything, it is just that I can´t get him out of my mind - he is flirty and good looking, tall, a bit older (but only a bit) and fascinating most of the time. Then again, he can be bossy, too.
Before you sayit, I love my job and I can´t be moved to another lab. I am sort of in charge here...
2007-02-12 01:39:10 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
I know what you are thinking, but he is not exactly "Mr Innocent", he is ALWAYS talking about girls that he fancies, even when his wife is there... Sometimes it can be annoying, sometimes I think he is giving me messages.
He once told me that he is sexually frustrated... jokingly, but....
2007-02-12 01:48:05 · update #1
Just had a 3 hours´meeting with him and it doesn´t help. I am meeting him again tomorrow. Help!
2007-02-12 05:38:30 · update #2
Just had a 3 hours´meeting with him and it doesn´t help. I am meeting him again tomorrow. Help!
2007-02-12 05:38:32 · update #3
I don't understand why everybody are talking about love, that he wouldn't be trusted in the future, that he wouldn't leave his wife....
I don't think the question is there. It looks to me more like a chemical attraction, difficult to control, for what I understood, whereby, though, NOTHING has happened or is even BOUND to happen.
The asker sounds confused about these feelings herself, maybe she just needs to know that other people have been in the same situation and survived without making a mess of it. Chances are that nothing would happen even having the opportunity!
but then again, I could be completely off the track.
Sorry for the rant.
What would I do? I would enjoy the company of the boss without thinking too much.... Life it too short!
2007-02-12 08:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by orsettolavatore98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not care whether he is Mr innocent or not . HANDS OFF. Whatever he does on his wife with you eventually he would do with some one else. He is a big NO NO. The fact that he talks the way he does in front of his wife actually kids you that all is not well between them; by the sound of it she has enough to put up with without one of his staff going gooey and girly over him.
Look for another job in a similar environment but a grade up from your - use the fact you have got a better job as your excuse to leave . then find/make the time to make your own relationship sizzle. Do not kid yourself that if you hit the sack together it was inevitable - that is just an excuse for not excercising some self control and some morality.
2007-02-12 01:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by D B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you already know the answer to this question but let me give you a slightly different slant on the answer don't go there.
if you have a relationship what do you expect at the end of it. hearts and roses, him to leave his wife and marry you. OK then suppose he does, you then have a relationship with a man who is a bit older than you and maybe has children already. Do you think you are going to be miss popular in your office, you will almost certainly have to leave your job and take up being a wife in a relationship where you have his second family.and he has to pay maintenance to his first wife and family. which will leave you broke.
second scenario, you have an affair and no one ever finds out, then the affair ends. How are you going to work with him then. one or both of you is going to feel very uncomfortable and you are the one again who has to leave your job.
Start thinking about his wrinkles and his less attractive side. Think about how he farts in bed. Just put him out of your mind cos you are only building up problems for your self.
2007-02-12 01:59:57 · answer #3 · answered by sabrina 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just enjoy the fantasising, theres nothing better than waking up in the morning and looking forward to going to work and seeing the person you have a crush on! But thats all it is. Dont take it any further, he's married, end of.
Find yourself some dates with some nice men outside of work to take your mind off things otherwise if its really that much of a prob it might be worth moving jobs!
2007-02-12 01:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by Georgie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself what is 'lacking' in your current relationship that would make you look elsewhere. Seek to resolve those things with you current partner. If you can find no 'problems' with your current partner, then what you are dealing with is nothing more than lust. Lust isn't enough to make a relationship.
Ask yourself what your boss is lacking. You mention his positive attributes but have little to say that is negative. Everyone has a catalogue of faults and he is no different. Focus on those rather than the attributes you find appealling.
Ultimately, this is probably nothing more than a shallow physical attraction coupled with lust. Just because someone is 'good looking' it doesn't automatically make them a good partner or lover. Lust can be very quickly overcome too because just because you find him sexually appealling it doesn't mean he is any good! Maybe he is terrible in bed!??
Live in the real world and keep it a 'fantasy' because the reality is highly unlikely to be as good as you imagine.
2007-02-12 01:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by jaynic72 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
But he is the boss and married. Sort of in charge here but you can't work this out ? Good luck to you but this sort of obsession happens frequently with employee + boss or pupil + teacher, it's all about the power.
If he was the sort of guy who would have an affair - would you want him ?
2007-02-12 01:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by chillipope 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer to this question!!
Back away!!!
Give it time and you will realise you are better off right where you are! We all get these feeling about people, it's only natural! I just think you will regret it if you do anything silly. Make sure you don't get drunk around him - could lead to trouble! Not just in the relationship department but you could risk losing your job...
2007-02-12 01:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rae 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't even go there, you will regret it if you do.
Why would you want to break up your relationship and his marriage?
What if you declare your love and he knocks you back? Working together would be awful.
It is probably just a crush. You work closely together so you will have developed a working intimacy.
Don't give in to the feelings, in time you will get over it and look back and think 'what on earth did i see in him?'
2007-02-12 01:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by bottomburps 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your relationship was so great would you be having these feelings? Maybe you ned to have a good look at where you are in life and work out what you really want. Think wisely before you make a decision. Don't confuse fantasy with what you really want. I hope it all works out for you.
2007-02-12 01:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by monkienutz 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Fantasizing about your boss is perfectly OK. You don't need to worry about that. It's when fantasy becomes reality, that's when the problems arise.
Keeping it all under control can be difficult and sometimes downright impossible, but you musn't give in to temptation, keep it as a fantasy and enjoy.
2007-02-12 01:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋