AHHHH! I don't know why I get embarrassed when there's no need!?

Question

I don't understand. I always get really embarrassed or feel really bad just because there's something different about me on that day, e.g. nicer hair style, clothes, make up.
Or if I do something well, I keep it a secrete so no one can congraudate me.
It's as if I don't want to get noticed, but to be honest, I want to be noticed and get some attention.
I don't want be like this. I want to be like everyone else, proud that I've done something well, happy that I look good.
Why am I like this?
Can I change?

Answer 1

hi Minnie,

I think that it not only matters to you how other people view you, but how you perceive they are viewing you.

You really want them to think well of you and be proud/pleased with you; but at the same time, you feel like you're not good enough if you don't look quite as good as someone else, or you did something well but perhaps not quite as good as another person.

Many people struggle with their self-image and shame/shyness of this sort. (I know I have.)

Yes, it is something that can and will change over time. It will simply take awhile, so you need to be patient with yourself.

I think the biggest change is when you begin to feel secure and proud of yourself (in the good sense) without desperately NEEDING others to think well of you.

Right now, a lot of your self-image depends on how others might either praise or criticize you. You can still care what other people think -- I think that's an important part of your personality -- but you can't afford to let other people determine your true value as a human being.

If you doubt yourself or tie your value to your ability to look the best or do the best, you will continue to experience these crummy feelings. If you can separate your value from what you do or what you look like, then you will eventually be able to hold your head up high and accept any praise and attention that comes your way. Like I said, I think you want the attention but also fear it, since people might see 'bad stuff' in you.

We all have bad stuff, flaws, and imperfections, but you don't need to be ashamed about it, even if some other people might be critical. You can still value yourself and accept yourself.

I don't know what your home life is like. Sometimes critical parents can contribute to our feelings of unworth. Maybe your parents are fine; but even then, sometimes it's hard to accept their opinion since they're our parents. In any case, try to find someone (friend, teacher, mentor) who you can trust, who can encourage you when you're feeling down on yourself and who can give you another perspective.

Take care, and don't give up. It takes some time, and getting older helps with the process.

Answer 2

OMG, I know exactly what you mean! I am the type of person that wears bluejeans and no makeup. i am a natural person. But I will put on makeup on special occasions, and dress up as well. There are very few occasions when I will do it on a whim. But when I do, people ask me "why are you wearing makeup?" And I will shrug my shoulders and say "I don't know.I just felt like it" And they will say, "You look good." And I feel my face getting red from embarrassment and cant even say thank you.
On special occasions w/ my hubby, I will ask him if I look OK, and he says, "You look good, you should wear make up more often" So, I know it's a compliment, I just turn my head, go back to the bathroom, feel my face turning red, and cant even say thank you.
That is with every thing. Hair clothes etc...
I hope this make you feel better.

Answer 3

Yes, you CAN change. It seems you do like to be complimented but then don't know how to handle it as you like to be modest.

The best thing to do is just say thank you if you receive a compliment. It doesn't mean that you think you're fab. it just means you are accepting a compliment someone WANTED to give to you. Don't follow up your thank you with, 'oh, I don't like it' or 'it wasn't expensive' because that still means you not accepting the compliment!

Practise doing it, you'll feel awkward the first few times, but then it will become easy...honestly!

Hope that helps

Answer 4

I feel exactly the same! I totally changed my style. Go out on a shopping free and get free of your comfort zone. Try new clothes and new hair styles and you will feel more confident if yourself. It worked for me and now i walk down the steet with loads of confidence.

Answer 5

Hey hun,

i was like that sweetheart but thats casue i had a very bad past im still a bit like it now i dont like ppl noticeing me.

Have you had a bad past? that might be it
U can always message me if ya wanna chat if u have had a bad past i dont mind

I wish you all the best
xx

Answer 6

Social Anxiety Disorder, see a doctor.

Answer 7

ya u can change,try new hair styles dress etc.make changes normal for u.at start i got embarrassed when i wore new things or tried new hair style.but when i used these things more often,i dont care of any one now.i have my own style and i luv it.be bold and enjoy ur life:)
GOOD LUCK DEAR:)

Answer 8

i think you have an anxiety disorder. i "freak out" when i go to the movies and it is full, or if i'm somewhere new, ect

Answer 9

YES GET A BRASS NECK