As I took the trash out last night, I noticed that there were various greeting cards that she had thrown out. Some from past holidays. Some from siblings. Also in that pile were a few from me (a couple from her birthday, valentines and some simply to say "I love you." My problem with this is she's held on to cards from previous lovers/boyfriends for years (to my knowledge, she still has them). Why throw out my tokens of affection? When I asked her about it, she said she needed "to get rid of some clutter." That's when I damn near exploded, but I kept my cool. What happened to the small things in a marriage? Moving forward, I sense that the cards are meaningless. With Valentines day around the corner, she'll see some flowers, but I don't see another card in her near future.
2007-02-12 01:23:02 · 17 answers · asked by JB2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She may be feeling depressed, distraught, anxious about something. Ok, what did you do? Have you been a naughty boy?
2007-02-12 01:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cards are a waste of money. Why people buy cards are beyond me. Just tell her you love her and get her something special and your be ok. After awhile those cards be nothing. I'm sure you got her tons of them. Why waste all that space when she already knows you care. I am sure she didn't look at those things even once after she seen it the first time. If she through away all your cards and no others then it might be saying something. But the fact is she through away alot of old cards from other family too. I wouldn't look into it anymore than that. Also might want to talk about not buying cards anymore as you could spend that wasted money on something else for her.
2007-02-12 02:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by pws8us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand her wanting to get rid of clutter. I was always hurt when my mom would throw away cards I had given her and then I realized not everyone keeps everything like I do. However, if she still has the cards from exes I would be worried. Is there a way you can nicely bring that up. Tell her that it bothers you that she kept their cards and not yours. You just have to let her know how you feel. Don't try to read into her feelings at this time just simply state yours. Good luck.
2007-02-12 01:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the answers from the folks who recommend saving the cards for a while, and then thinning out the collection. It may take time to figure out which ones you want to keep. I knew an elderly couple who saved a lot of the sweet cards they'd exchanged over the years. After they died, their children found a Depression-era card from their courting days that pictured a couple in a Model T. He says, "Shall we drive in the park?" Inside, she says, "Heavens no! Sakes alive! Let's wait till it's dark, and park in the drive!" Some people use the pictures from previous years' Christmas cards as part of the decorations on Christmas presents. This works particularly well on packages to be mailed, where a bow would get crushed anyway.
2016-05-24 00:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you are overreacting and reading WAY too much into things. Is a person expected to keep every last scrap of paper you give them?
My husband gives me tons of cards, and I'm grateful for them all, but I don't keep them all. I have two or three out of 7yrs of marriage that I have kept that are particularly funny or meaningful to me.
Concerning her past love affairs cards. I still have one or two of those. They are packed away and the only time I run into them is when I clean out my closet and actually get to the last box on the bottom in the back.
2007-02-12 01:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to relax. Your wife is with YOU---not with a previous lover or boyfriend. Those are in the past. Now, if she were cheating, I would see that you would have a real reason to be upset. Hanging on to those cards, just like graduation cards, etc., are just old memories. Fun to look at and reminisce about, but generally nothing more. Personally, I look at cards/photos from old boyfriends and wonder what I ever saw in them.
As for her excuse about decluttering---believe her! I routinely declutter around the house and get rid of stuff. I have my wonderful husband to look at and love every day. Although I have kept some of the cards he has sent me, I don't need to keep every one of them to know that he cares about me or to be reminded of him. Nor do I get all bent out of shape if he tosses a card that I sent him in the past.
What you need to do is to lovingly communicate with your wife. Let her know in a nice way that you felt hurt when you found out that she threw out the cards you gave her. She probably has no idea. I doubt that she was trying to be insensitive in any way.
As for what you do on Valentine's Day, that is of course up to you. But, I would really suggest not playing any childish mind games or engaging in emotional blackmail. Life is too short for that kind of of cr*p.
2007-02-12 01:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by ms_quiltsalot 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't keep cards either - the only problem I see is if she really does still have stuff from other relationships. She may have some things from you that she kept - it would be rediculous to think she would keep everything you ever gave her.
2007-02-12 03:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be thankful she is throwing these things out, most chicks keep everything there like pack rats, then they need a bigger house for more storage. If she can throw away these things maybe you can get her to throw some other stuff away, if you know what i mean!
2007-02-12 01:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it time to change what she has been getting in the passed is not her anymore you need to start something new with her my wife did that and i found out that by change thing up from card to rings one year to bears to my wife fav. Dragons that she keep all of them and she now has new memory of us and how we grow together.. Good LUCK
2007-02-12 01:31:05 · answer #9 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i throw all my cards too, unless hubby has hand written something sweet inside. but i think she hold onto the cards from the past cuz it is her past and she wants to remember it in some ways. she has you now and doesn't need a card to remember you.
2007-02-12 01:42:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, don't ever get her another card of any kind for as long as she lives. That sounds like a perfectly mature way of dealing with this situation. Its a good thing you didn't explode, with a thoughtless wife like that, she probably wouldn't even clean up the mess.
2007-02-12 01:36:27 · answer #11 · answered by Studly Jim 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋