I have been through several divorces in my immediate large family. Three years ago I was divorced. Recently my ex tries to sue for full custody and reduce my time to 4 days a month with my 8 year old son. I moved away from my company, lost it all in the divorce and I live 5 minutes away so we can spend as much times as possible. After the 2nd attempt at custody the judge warned her, "I don't ever want to see you in this court house again. I am tired of this!" Two weeks later the boyfriend comes out of the woodwork and is practically living at her place. We did not raise him this way. I am trying to convince her to stop doing this because my son does not like the guy - it has been almost 6 months of this guy around. He is having trouble in school and tells all that it is what is going on at his mother's home. He wants to live with me now to get out of his mother's house. Now the Parental Coordinator (Mediator of sorts) is condoning the cohabitating in front of my son. Ex blames me.
2007-02-12 01:12:26 · 10 answers · asked by RealEYES 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i grew up with out my father and there is a huge gap between us now... seriously fight for your son. if your son doesnt likehim usually there is a good reason, as i said i grew up without my father. my mom would bring someone home and if me and my sister diddnt like him then my mom was done and thats all she needed to know, your ex should respect your sons oppinion in all of this,other wise he will feel disregarded and not listend to ,sounds like you love your son and would do anything for him but your ex is not happy untill you are unhappy. i am very sorry and good luck to you
2007-02-12 01:22:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey richardson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter what happens remember one thing you will always be his father. Although you are divorced and share custody your wife has the right just as you would to move on with her life. It is only natural that your son would not like the boyfriend, he is in your spot. I would talk to him about all of this and let him know no matter what you are always there for him. Fight for what you want. If you can confront your ex without the boyfriend or your son around. Tell her you are concerned about his well being and his school work. If you are allowed go speak to his teachers and let them know whats going on at home. Because this is not about who's to blame its about what is best. Tell her what she is doing is damaging your child and if so sooner or later a parental coordinator or judge whatever will see this. Just hang in there and stick to your son like glue. You should be able to see him once a week I suggest you get better legal council, especially if you are a good father. It should be allowed. Good Luck!
2007-02-12 01:25:44 · answer #2 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard on a child when their parents get divorced, especially when they don't get to see one parent or the other very often. sounds like you are trying to make the effort to stay a positive influence in your sons life. Is this boyfriend a bad person? or is your son just overreacting because he wants his parents back together. You need to reassure him that this new guy will not take your place in his life. Don't discuss your ex's choices with your son either. And if he asks just say in a nice way that she can live the way she wants to. If you son is justified in asking to live with you full time then let the Mediator handle it, I'm not sure what state you live in, or what the age is for children to be able to have a say in where they go, but I'd check into it.
2007-02-12 01:22:18 · answer #3 · answered by hockey_chick44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether your son likes your ex's boyfriend or not is none of your business. It's her life and your son doesn't dislike her new boyfriend, he is just jealous and will get over it in time. All kids from divorces goes through this. I've been a single mom for 12 years and only 1 boyfriend did they like (until after we broke up and then they all of a sudden loved the guy). Now I'm engaged, one kid likes him, the other doesn't. As far as I'm concerned, it's my life and my fiance is trying to befriend both.
Your son is also acting out due to the upset in his family life and he is trying to control it. He is 8 years old and is used to manipulating you and your ex. All kids learn this and are experts at it. Time for you to sit him down and tell him plain and simple to adjust to his mother's way of living. Stop allowing him to manipulate you now and your ex, because sooner or later you'll have a new woman in your life and you'll realize then that your son will pull this crap on you too.
2007-02-12 01:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is, is it right for you? Your papers should address all issues that are important to the two parents. If not, its time to go back to court and get it in writing. You can't be the parent you need to be if you are all caught up in the emotion and energy drain of the drama.....get your attorney to spell it out and let the courts handle it....so you can focus on having some fun with your son, being a good role model and helping him get through the stress of this, school and just being a kid. Good luck .
2007-02-12 01:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am wondering what is going on in the house with the boyfriend?...is he a slacker? a drug addict? a drinker? ....does he abuse the son? ...or is it just the fact that you don't think she should have a boyfriend living in? has she been seeing him for awhile or did she just pick up some stranger and move him in? is she a bad mother, do you think she would put your son in a bad position? do you trust her as a mother?....what about yourself, if you get into a relationship do you plan on never moving in with a woman again? will the rules be the same for you that you are putting on her?
i think both parents need to worry about the child and only the child...don't stick your noses into each others personal lives unless it is very obvious that there is abuse or neglect going on .
2007-02-12 01:32:28 · answer #6 · answered by vinnieangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-27 03:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assume all responsibilities as a man.
Admit it your fault to have put your son in that position by losing your wife.
Admit you didnt' love your wife from a womens point of view. You only loved her from your point of view. You need to change that. Learn How to love one woman from Her point of view in order to keep her.
After you admit all this, then you will begin to see some hope.
Admitting you were wrong is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of rehabilitation in process.
2007-02-12 01:22:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO get a lawyer! fast! get into court, (family court), and explain that your son has issues with the new "man" in your ex's life and that it is affecting him in school... the Judge Should investigate
2007-02-12 01:19:24 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer and get your son out of there. That's not cool. And the courts won't think so either. She needs to be slapped.
2007-02-12 01:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Gasman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋