I think I am in love with my boss. I know it is stupid, I have been trying to fight this for months, but the feeling comes back. He is married and I am in a great relationship, but I find myself fantasizing (dangerously) about my boss. He is SO gorgeous, but he can be a bit of an a***le sometimes, well, like all bosses, I suppose. We work quite closely, as I am the "supervisor" in here, so avoiding contacts is not possible. I keep telling myself that is a dangerous situation to be in, but I am not listening....
2007-02-12 00:49:06 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forgot to say, I have NEVER cheated, and don´t think I want to start now. I just want to get out of this feeling, without getting "off" my boss (like not liking him anymore", so I am NOT what some say I am. I love my partner very much.
But my boss can be VERY flirty sometimes... I have a meeting with him anytime now.... Help
2007-02-12 01:07:09 · update #1
I can´t work in another department. We work in a lab, not in a company. He relies on me for most of the research in the group and I love my job. I think the fact that he values me so much has a BIG role in all this... it boosts my self confidence, if you see what I mean. I keep imagining that we are on the verge of something and then decde it is wiser not to go any further... I know it´s crazy....
2007-02-12 01:32:16 · update #2
I think this sounds to me like it's a crush not love. You look up to him because he is your boss. Plus he is married and its just the fantasy of the situation that you are in love with. If you are in a great relationship then this is normal and will pass. Love is a strong word and people use it too freely. You are simply infatuated because of the temptation. Be patient and it will pass.
2007-02-12 01:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you try and imagine how devastated you would feel if you overheard your boss saying bad things about you or the scenario where you are left without a partner and without a job.
I'm 41 years old and have had most of my testosterone taken away by having the snip yet I still get very horny and sometimes so horny that I imagine everyone in the room can tell-- our imaginations can be clouded by hormones and we can read signals from others in completely the wrong context.
If you weren't able to ask others their opinions then you would be doomed but as you can - I hope you do everything in an educated and rational way and have a fulfilling and happy life without giving in to feelings that are so obviously inappropriate to your own concience.
2007-02-12 01:01:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does sound as dangerous situation. Please don't get involved. Don't forget he IS married and already taken. You are infatuated with the side of him that YOU see, there will be so many other aspects to him that you don't know about so he is probably not as wonderful as you think he is.
No matter what happens, leave well alone. If you think you're gonna do something about these feelings...then maybe look for another job in another department or even away from where you are completely. This has hazard written all over it.
2007-02-12 00:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay let's play a little game. Say you get married in a few years.
You love the guy, everything is great.
Then you find out some little hottie down at work is f*cking his brains out. How would you feel? Hurt, betrayed, angry, devastated, shattered, crushed, vengeful, seethingly mad, tearful, disappointed, ruined, destroyed, disillusioned, enraged, lied to? Exactly.
THEN WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE ANOTHER WOMAN FEEL THAT WAY? HUH?
You = selfish stupid b*tch thinking with her clit.
Dump your boyfriend and find some hot single guy you see every day at work to f*ck around with. Leave the married guys alone. Otherwise you are nothing but a stupid homewrecking whore being USED by a selifsh lying man.
2007-02-12 00:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sooooo very dangerous, are you sure thats not all it is a fantasy, after all hes your boss, so he has power which can be quite an attractive trait, but just think what you have to loose, what does he have to loose is there any kids involved there is more than you to consider, has he actually shown an interest in you at all, in my opinion you should stay clear of him keep it professional after all you could end up loosing your job if all goes wrong.
2007-02-12 00:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by pagan1973 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not worth it,, you will greatly regret..
But we also don't know if you have the chance
it's too risky.. If you think you do better than his wife,
you might have a little chance.
Take it farther : you're living with him, but for how long,
would you trust him if he's been
seduce by someone else? you won't have peace.
JUST BIG MESS . . .
Keep away from him by finding another job, this way
you're in a right track..
What you feel for him is not love, just infatuation . .
just longing, and wanting and desiring, and fantasizing
KEEP YOUR GREAT RELATIONSHIP
you're lucky you already got one,, it's hard to find it.
2007-02-12 01:15:25 · answer #6 · answered by JUSS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is it worth your career your current relationship. Is it worth turning your current life upside down and possibly screwing up your future to find out what he might be all about? Is it worth throwing away all that u have put in your relationship? What might be missing from the current relationship u think u might find with your boss? See if you can find whats missing and put it into your current relationship. Everytime you think of your boss think of your si other. Think of how people will view you afterwords and see if you can deal with that. Think how you will feel if you hooked up with your boss and things didn't work out. then what. If they do work out will u live the rest of your life in regret. Are you being fair to yourself or is this an infatuation that will go away once you hook up. Think it all out. good luck...
2007-02-12 01:02:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It reminds me of when you tell a child not to eat the cookies before dinner time. The child just keeps on looking at them, and you KNOW sooner or later they're gonna get into them.
To prevent anything from happening(I'm sure you have figured all the consequences) You'll have to do something drastic. I would change jobs if necessary.
But if you don't do something, sooner or later you'll get the cookies.
2007-02-12 00:56:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jed 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As you may already know many companies don't allow people to date within the same department but try psyching yourself out by thinking a lot about the a**hole part of him and with that you may find him becoming less attractive.
2007-02-12 00:57:13 · answer #9 · answered by ♪ Tony's girl ♪ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It should not matter if he is your boss or someone else. Attraction to someone doesn't (or shouldn't) be about a position in a company. Maybe on the other hand you are solely attracted to the power he does have. Ask yourself why you are attracted to him, not IF you are. Also, sometimes people want what they can't have.
2007-02-12 00:57:59 · answer #10 · answered by rachael_lehman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋