HI I am 24 years of male in India. I have relation with dutch lady since a long time, she is a divorce and mother of two. I love to talk to her and want to see her every time. is this love. She is in Amsterdam and I am in India. She wants to marry me but my parents don't like this, I don't know what I need to do now?
Please help me. I am unable to focus my work these days.
Please!!
2007-02-12 00:36:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is a working lady as nurse in a hospital. and has good relation with her family.
2007-02-12 00:50:16 · update #1
follow your heart , its your life
The first thing i would worry about is immigration, without knowing how it works, you wont be able to marry, work or anything.
2007-02-12 00:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are an Indian, I am sure which ever part of india you are in, you will have your own tradition and customs, which you will not like to loose. Further, your age is the onewhich tends to make you think of all these. Now you will have all guts and your infactuation on her will make you think that you can get away and marry her. But, provided if you are born and brought up in India, it will be a bad bet to go and marry her. Time to think chap!!!! The decision that you take should not affect your family too.
She is a pen friend/chat friend. Hope you understand :-)
2007-02-12 08:45:55 · answer #2 · answered by Irismar 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Follow your heart. If you are thinking of her and it's starting to interfere with your work, then you might want to think about this... She is an educated strong woman, if you lose your job, because you can't focus, she might not want to be with you. Today. It take two incomes. It's love that you feel for her, but you have to snap out of it and get things in order, so you all can have a great life together.You respect your parents and that is great, but they will understand if you move on with your life, it may take some time, but you go get your bride.
2007-02-19 02:14:28 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, i wouldn't worry about marriage yet...so that is out if she feels she must right away. You two sound like you need to meet somehow...if the Internet is your only way then continue this until you can figure out how you really feel. We must respect our family....and we must also do what is in our hearts...Look to your God for these answers and don't shut anyone out when they try to advise you...Keep an open ear and open mind...This could be the beginning of a very beautiful thing....take your time to find the truth....
2007-02-12 08:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Minnie Mouse♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your parents are concerned about you because you are still on the young side (not that you are not able to make mature decisions) but sometimes love, lust clouds our rationale thinking,especially when we are on the younger side...
I think because she is divorce with two children, your parents feel that that responsiblity would be laid on you.. Which it will undoubtly. raising someone elses children is not easy and the ex will always be a part of YOUR LIFE>
If she is pushing you to marry her - then a red flag goes off. If she loves you - she will wait, until you are more comfortable with your decision and not feel that you are unable to concentrate.
another question? does she work? is she financially secure? How is her relationship with her children, family and friends?
Good luck...
2007-02-12 08:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by IPnlove 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How can it be love unless you have actually met her and spent time with her? Meet the person first before you make any rash decisions.
I think you also should find some one whom you can trust and also consult with to know for sure if you are ready to be together in marriage.
Don't follow the heart because the heart can also be wrong. Feelings can misguide you the wrong way and it's important to weight out your options before you jump in.
Look before you leap. Take the time out to really know this person is the right one for you.
2007-02-16 16:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have to ask, it probably isn't ...but then again...Your cultures are completely different...even from mine and I don't know what to tell you. At 24 years of age, my parents would not have a say in who I was dating or wanted to marry. So you'll have to do what is right for you, her and anyone else that is important to you.
2007-02-12 08:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
FOCUS ON YOUR WORK.1stly she is a dutch.from a culture where in marriage may not be taken that seriously as here..it is not a life long commitment in these countries.most importantly ur parents dont accept it and u r young and at an age which is very prone to faulty behaviour.
2007-02-12 08:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this is hard, but you need to stand up to your parents. You get one life and you need to be with someone you love, not someone your parents are forcing you to be with.
I know an Indian woman who was in love with an Indian man, but his parents didn't approve of her family. She ended up marrying another man. Later, the guy whose parents didn't approve of her family said he regretted not standing up to his parents. Both are in miserable marriages now.
In the old days, marriage was about having babies and combining two families. Nobody expected to enjoy talking to his or her spouse, and nobody cared about the individual. Marriage was just some commitment forced on children. Moreover, people went along with this because more often than not, the family dynamics mirrored the political dictatorships that people lived in.
In the modern world, it's about being with your best friend. You and your spouse make decisions together; it's not your father making the decisions. People don't live with their parents when they get married and force their wives to take orders from the mother-in law. Your expectations and situation are completely different. Your parents aren't going to understand because they have a different set of expectations.
Also, in modern cultures, people often live in democracies, where the individual can voice his opinion and make his own decisions. In other words,the political expectations have seeped into families and changed people's expectations in life.
All it takes is enough people in a culture to stand up to their parents and the culture will change.
I've seen a lot of people get in loveless marriages because of their families.
Marry whom you want or you WILL regret it.
I'm not going to say that you aren't going to make sacrifices. Your family is going to tell you that nobody will marry your siblings, cousins etc...Talk to your siblings and get them to rebel too. They can marry outside the culture or ignore their parents and marry whom they want. Also, your parents may not talk to you for years, but I'll tell every Indian kid out there that if every Indian out there stood up to his/her parents today, your culture would change in five years and this CULTURAL SLAVERY WOULD STOP.
India has too many bright people to keep putting up with this from their parents. Indian children need to start a cultural revolution and NOW.
2007-02-16 16:39:24 · answer #9 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you would need to spend a lot of time with her in real life to know if it was love.
you need to see her a lot more before you can make that decision.
if you do find out you love eachother, then forget everything else and go for it!
2007-02-12 08:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by Pinkgemgem 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋