should i tell my parents?

Question

l split with my ex a few months back coz my parents werent happy with the 12 year age gap, i'm 20 by the way.

He has his own place and we have been seeing eachother again on the down low for about 5 months, he's now asked me to move in with him so we can be together, but that means my family will never speak to me again.

Answer 1

Your life your choice

Answer 2

My husband is 11 years my senior. We are in a very unhappy relationship that most likely will not continue. 12 years is a large gap. Its hard to find common ground. Have you asked yourself why a 32 year old man would rather date a 20 year old than a woman his own age? I understand the allure of an older man. Obviously. But that will wear off. Listen to your family, they are just trying to protect you because they love you. However, if you do decide to move in with this man, you need to come clean with your parents now. Hope that helps. Take care.

Answer 3

I don't understand why your family will not speak to you again unless there is something majorly wrong with the 2 of you being together, My partner is 19 years older than me. It was a shock at first for my parents but when they saw how good we are together and as time has gone on and we've been a success they love him to bits.
M aybe your parents still veiw you as a child,
as a parent myself i can honestly say that i would never put my children in that position.
I cant see how they realy mean it

Answer 4

Think very carefully before making this kind of commitment, It is overly complicated by the fact your parents don't agree. You are still quite young and have a whole life a head of you. Breaking bonds with your parents now, is not so good in the longer run? I have been there, and still don't have a good relationship with my parents! My suggestion would be talk to them about the relationship and tell them what has been suggested? See if you can pull them on side to at least accept the relationship, and take it from there. You are showing you are respecting them by talking with them and now you are asking for some respect back!

Answer 5

Look this is your life and you are an adult. Your family will speak to you again, they are saying this to try to control what you do. They think they are doing it in your best interests. If it is just the age gap they are worried about then I would go ahead and move in with him. Do they have other concerns? Is he working? Is he good to you? You must do what YOU want as hard as I know this will be for you.

And yes, I do think you should tell your parents, but tell them in an assertive way...that doesn't mean be rude, just state the facts.
If they say they won't see you, tell them you're sorry they feel that way but you will still be moving in with him..and it IS your decision.

Best wishes.

Answer 6

Well.... I think you should tell your parents. But before moving with this guy you have to be really sure that this is what you want for your future. When you go and live with somebody, that is a big thing, is like getting married, you are his woman. And you have to know why he wants to live with you and the big step you are going to take. I hope he doesn't talk bad about your parents and understands the entire situation. After talking to him and getting everything clear go and talk to your parents, tell them what you feel, after all age should not be a problem, but the thing is that you are under 21, you are still their reponsability, if you go with him, that's over you are on your own. But talk to them and tell them you don't want to loose them. But be sure of what you are oging to do, because you don't want to be in a couple of months going back to their home and having them tell you "I told you"

Answer 7

Just remember that he will always be 12 years older than you - it will be a big difference in say 10 years - I'm in my mid-thirties and we are def not that keen on going out like a 20 year old would be. Jeremy Kyle summed it up well last week "He is older than you, people in their 30s don't really like banging in your ear music, more like 80s music, Abba and all that kind of thing". Very true!!

Answer 8

My husband and I have a 14 year age gap. I thought my Dad would freak (and to be honest he wasn't too happy when I first mentioed it). But once he met him and saw how happy I was, he soon realised it wasn't an issue at all. They are your parents and always want whats best for you. Be totally truthful and honest - tell them how you feel and your feelings for this guy. When they see how happy he makes you - they will be happy for you too. Good luck! x

Answer 9

Does this make you happy? age really is nothing but a number. and life is really too short. do what makes you happy. if it does than yes tell your family. they should beb happy for you. everything is hard to swallow at first, but you can get over this. if you were pregnant they woul dbe upset until they saw the child and then they'd go gaga. Your still a baby to them and they only care. it's quite a difference and may have them upset but if your happy then gurl be happy. there soo many unhappy people out here` looking for happiness..

Answer 10

although they may not like ur choices that u make in ur life, if ur honest with them, they will atleast respect you for that much.. even if they dont agree, hiding it, and actting like a child, only promotes in them treating u like a child, eventually u need to stand on ur own two feet, and say "im and adult and i will make my own choices, good or bad.. and you can either support me in my life, or not, thats ur choice, but i have to do what i think is best for me" .. and go be an adult.

Now with that said if i was ur parent i wouldnt be happy either sorry but a 32 year old only see's "Sex, Stupidity and u being Nieve" when they look at a 20 year old.. but thats something ur obviously going to learn for yourself.. because your already thinking ur parents have zero clue or u wouldnt be back with him.. but a word to the wise, parents are usually 99% of the time right, and its something that comes with age.. something u dont have at this moment.. this guy.. he's using u.. and eventually u'll wake up and realize u have nothing in common and the things u think u have in common now? its all fake.. your his trophy, ur young and stupid (not being mean, its the stupidity that all of us have when we are YOUNG..) and ur nieve and he will use that to his advantage to get what he wants.. and to play on ur emotions..
So good luck, hope u dont get to hurt in all of this.. u could be taking a huge risk of ur family disowning u , for a man that doesnt really love u but only see's u as a toy..

Answer 11

are you sure they won't speak to you again or is that an assumption?

what i would do is sit down with my parents and let them know how you feel about this guy. love sees no age. what they should care about is your happiness. in the end, they're your family and they should be there no matter what decisions you make.