My wife of 15+ years does not like my fingers or my toungue on her clitoris. I know for a fact that my technique is very good and any other woman would have no problem achieving multiple orgasms with me. My wife will not masturbate unless I beg her to and then I know she really isn't into it. How do I awaken this area for her (and me?)
2007-02-11 23:56:43 · 6 answers · asked by concerned 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
15 years is a very long time indeed, yes sir.
My wife also has a low sex drive. While we were still dating, we had sex a lot, and it was really good, but a few years after getting married, I noticed how low her sex drive was.
I used to try to get her excited using a variety of techniques. I let her know that I was going to do almost anything, and I mean anything, to help her enjoy sex with me, but all of my attempts ended in failure.
Until....
I decided that I was going to try something totally different. After a few years of, "Can we do it tonight honey, huh? Can we? Can we?" I decided that I was a pitful creature and that I was weakening my position with her with every vain attempt. Women are not attracted to the availability of sex with their husbands. Some are!!! But most aren't, at least not as much as we'd like them to be.
So, I made a firm decision that I would never ask her for sex again. I just stopped asking all of a sudden. She didn't notice it for several weeks, but then I began to notice subtle changes in her behavior. I noticed her slowly but surely starting to pay more attention to me. I was nice to her, and thoughtful and kind etc. I wasn't a jerk about it, but I simply would not ask for it.
I'm guessing that my apparent lack of interest (only the "apparent" lack mind you!) actually made her more interested.
Can you see that the reason a lot of couples have more sex before marriage is because the woman is trying to get a certain measure of control over him whether she realizes it consciously or not? After she gets him begging and grovelling, he "belongs" to her, and she is no longer in danger of losing him. No longer in danger of losing his rescources, money, stability etc. Women really concentrate on that stuff. They don't have the same physiological needs that we do. They THINK they do, they do NOT.
Now my wife asks ME for sex. We still don't do it as much as I'd like, but we do it enough for me to be satisfied. She now knows that sex with me is not something that she can take for granted, and she will have to make an effort to keep ME interested in HER.
Don't get me wrong, I don't cheat on her, and I never would. I just masturbate when she doesn't ask me.
Do NOT cave in. Your efforts up until now have failed right?
2007-02-12 00:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What woman doesn't like a wet tongue on her clitoris?! I can't imagine that. When I have that done to me, it sends me into another world! I guess my best advice to you would be for you and your wife to have an open discussion on what does turn her on, and maybe you can focus on those things and build from there. There are so many degrees of lovemaking, that there is always something new to try. I love to watch and join in while my partner is masturbating, it really takes things to the next level!
2007-02-12 09:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like after l5 years, she's not going to. There are some women that just are NOT into that. Ever.
Try a couple's marital (sexual) therapy. That's about your only
hope.
Communicate with her and see if there is anything else you two can compromise on that you would both like.
good luck
2007-02-12 08:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend a small bullet-about two inches long and it vibrates. they always work and theya re not intimidating but rather cute. it will save you wear and tear and it will get her off. good luck.
2007-02-12 09:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by cici 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never liked recieving oral sex. My husband goes down on me but honestly I don't get into it...but I try. I love everything lese he does. I know its not him because I have NEVER liked it with any man I have been with.
2007-02-12 08:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave her alone! i'm curious what she would have to say about your techniques!
2007-02-12 16:17:39 · answer #6 · answered by Cornell is Hot! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋