didn't forsee being a problem but turned into a very big one. I'm a Christian and he's an Atheist. I made the mistake of thinking I could change him. We also have different feelings in many other areas and his emotional reactions to everything are very different than what I can handle anymore, from showing no emotion when I miscarred to many other things as well. I really dont know what to do. My religion says divorce is a no, no matter what, unless he leaves me, and he doesn't want to. What can I do to feel closer to him and deal with the differences?
2007-02-11 23:46:48 · 11 answers · asked by Cameron F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep religion out of it for a start...You married him knowing how he is and if you thought you could change him, you were dreaming...As far as your husband showing no emotions, that's just probably how he is, he may not like to show them.
If you cant not deal with these differences, then you need to make a choice...What is more important to you? Your family, or your husband not believing in god the way you do? You will not change him.....
2007-02-12 00:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's an important question for all ages, that doesn't make the answer an easy or suitable for all cases. In general I think there is no minimum and I agree with your maximum 15 years. Frankly, since I'm not young myself, I may say I don't mind if the age difference is even more than 15 as long as we can understand each other and deal with each other, but it may not be the same opinion of the other half. I think personalities and fitness may be the key to find a good answer for each case. After 20 or 25 the age difference effect on relations is less than in younger age.
2016-03-29 03:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could grow up. Yes, grow up, when you do you will feel closer to him. Do you still believe in Santa Claus?, The Easter Bunny? Well, he stopped believing in the granddaddy of all childhood myths, god. Would you ever once again believe in Santa Claus, now that you grew up and saw how impossible and illogical the who Santa myth is? No way, and so too your DH can never go back to believing in the myth.
I hate to break it to you but there are probably many solid reasons that your DH is an atheist, he has seen through the mythology of theology and stopped believing in invisible spirits (omnimax or otherwise), and in a non-corporeal afterlife. He might even have achieve enlightenment to the point of knowing why free will is an illusion. He is living in reality, and having for a partner someone who is off in fantasy land with made up hoo-ha for a guide to life. You ought to be thankful for his tolerance of your superstitious world view.
You thought you could change him? You had better examine that policy closely. What made you think you loved him, if you wanted to change him? And what made you should marry him if you didn't love him? This was amazing hubris and arrogance. If you didn't like him the way he was the proper thing to do would have been to go find someone who you did truly love. What would you say of a man who married a woman and thought he'd just change her once they got married. This is what it means to objectivy a person... thing of a person as an object that you can make changes as you like.
As for him not reacting the way you would want him to react. Well here you go again... he is a different person acting as he must act according to how he is. How about if you worry more about how you are going about life, than how someone else (DH) is going through life.
2007-02-12 00:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ummmm your mistake by marrying a man that doesnt believe in God.. right there should of been ur first clue that your marriage was going to be a bumpy one.. since ur core beliefs, morals and values which stem alot from religion, were so different,.. knowing that when u got married, the best thing u can do is not try and "convert" him.. u cant push someone to be with God, u can only lead the way, but its got to be something with in themselves that finds their way to god.. Let him be who he wants to be, just like its fine for u to be who u want to be, u do what u need to, to protect ur religious beliefs and if he doesnt want to share in it.. so be it.. his choice.. Hopefully one day he'll see the light, and decide to follow the same path as you, but if not, then thats his own personal choice , his own free will, for him to just fake it and go along for the ride , isnt what u or God want and it wouldnt do any good.. So just do what "you" need to do , and lead the way and hopefully one day he'll follow..
As far as the miscarriage, men deal with grief alot differently then women.. and it only probably hurt his heart worse where god was concerned..that happens alot when u lose someone.. people tend to get upset with God for it..
My x husband and i had a miscarriage, and i was emotional for months about it.. and for about a year it really tore us apart, he stopped touching me, making love to me, it was almost as if he resented me for it.. but he finally came around and said he felt as if he did something wrong, as if he some how caused it (even though he didnt it just happened) in his mind he felt he had let me down in some way or if he was being punished some how.. but it took a year before we finally got through it and things went back to normal..
2007-02-12 00:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think this inferiority only last for a while, since your husband still loves you i think you two can go thru this. sometimes two persons not neccessarily be the same on everything when they are together, i think the most important thing is you both are click with each other and want this marriage to last.
2007-02-12 01:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by FairGround 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-02 01:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by Brandon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should have thought about that before you got married to him...
my guess is you love him for him.. no matter what his relgion is right?
so just accept that he's different and he's not going to change.. accept him for him not for who you'd like him to be
2007-02-11 23:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he doesn't beleive in god then its right to divorce before he sends your soul to hell thats my church's belief
2007-02-15 12:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,why u marry him in 1st place then??
this ppl are hard head...so....u just cant change 'em
2007-02-11 23:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
get into marriage counselling... NOW
2007-02-11 23:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋