EVERYONE LOVES HIM....my parents, my friends, my relatives....He is wonderful, caring, trustworthy, hot, great job, gorgeous house, genuine, would be a great father.....I have always been in drama filled relationships and FINALLY decided to get out of it after 7 years and this has been my 1st non drama relationship
I took a 6 month break and then met him. We clicked. We both wanted to get married to each other someday, have kids together, and live in our "now" house FOREVER.
One day my feelings clicked off. Honestly, I woke up one morning after we were dating for 3 months and had come to the conlusion that I didnt love him anymore. Since then I went on some anti-anxiety meds and my feelings have been up and down. When we are out of town I dont think about anything and have a good time with him, BUT when we are at home I get all anxious and feel like I dont love him anymore...I dont know why but the smallest things he does annoy me and the next day everything could be fine. I just dont feel as romantic as I used to with him. I still enjoy having sex with him and spending time with him but feel as though something is missing or I dont love him anymore? I dont trust myself with this relationship. Please help, I hate hearing that I am not in love with him anymore...For some reason people re-assuring my love for him makes me feel better?!?!?
2007-02-11 23:45:16 · 8 answers · asked by dawson190154 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you've already recognised a pattern in your life in past relationships that has been negative. we all tend to fall into a pattern that is generally begun with our first important relationship (ie parent), and repeat that same pattern whether it be positive or negative.
how wonderful that you then found someone that didnt fulfill that maladaptive pattern again, someone who could be a healthy relationship for you!
however, because the early formed pattern in your relationships is so well entrenched, you will feel uncomfortable with it - unnatural etc, because it is not what you are used to. that is why we often end up dating the same losers, it is just comfortable and familiar!!
i think you should probably speak to a counsellor who is good with psychodynamic work (looking at the influence past experiences and family have on present relationships and life in general), to help you understand why you have a poor relationship history, and also to know if your reaction to your current relationship is related to this or that your love has just faded.
good luck, i think you'll work it all out.
2007-02-12 00:00:37 · answer #1 · answered by noodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are INSECURE and CANNOT BE TRUSTED leave him along if he is like you said he is, and DO NOT RUIN his life by making promises to him you will not keep, and I bet after a few weeks together IF you end up marrying him, you will be running around behind his back. Other people are telling you WHAT you WANT to hear, NOW listen to what you really are, the Truth about yourself. You have stated the answer to your own question, re-read it, and you will see what I am saying. I am only answering what I read in the question. Hope I'm wrong, but I don't think so unless you change overnight.
2007-02-12 07:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that just the thought of him being so nice, and the fact that theres no drama in your relationship, is turning you off. Your so used to being in a relationship like that,....and now your scared. I would stick it out. Once you get used to it, you'll like it. It sounds like he can give you a much better life than what the others could offer. Sounds like every womans dream man. If you dont snatch him up, someone else will. I wouldnt let him go!!
2007-02-12 07:53:38 · answer #3 · answered by pebbles 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you don't have feelings for him or feel that you are "in love" anymore. then take another break. see a therapist. sounds a little like depression. you might be the person that likes things her own way and don't feel happy in a relationship or that you need another person in your life. get a pet.
but don't "settle", I did- settled. was never "in love" but it has worked for us. lived together for 17yr. we cant stand going shopping together or going out together. we do our own things. and we share the household expenses. and its worked for us. but every now and then I wish I had someone that he would show me how he loves me and that I could do the same. we don't celebrate holidays(valentines, birthdays, or sweetest day) I wish I could though.
don't settle, just because he is "right" be with someone for love too. need both.
2007-02-12 07:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I hope you are ok. in a lot of circumsatnces depression comes with anxiety. how do you feel generally? about other things outside your relationship? if you are depressed you will feel 'out of sorts' and a bit lost with life.
If you feel like this it might be worth seeing a health care person... doctor, counsellor, whoever you prefer...
Good Luck,
Bonnie
2007-02-12 07:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by Bonnie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this is called seven years itch. both of you are loving eachother. but the ego is preveting you both. ask him to spend some more time with you, ask him to do some little help at kitchen and to wash clothes, help your children, go to temple, help others
2007-02-12 07:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by ayal p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to write shorter questions, who is going to read this bookyou just wrote.
2007-02-12 08:01:35 · answer #7 · answered by TT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please do yourself a favor and get into some therapy!
2007-02-12 07:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋