I recently found out that my husband had been contacted via e-mail by a woman that he had had a one night stand with 16 years ago. They have been carrying on for months through e-mail and cell phones. I read most of the e-mails and they both talk about how they wish they could have that night over again, she says that her marriage is really bad etc. My husband says that he stopped talking to her but I just don't trust him, he says that it wasn't cheating but I feel like it was. I don't think they got together physically but they did plan their conversations around her husbands and my schedule and he never once mentioned this woman and was telling me the whole time that he was working or studying. Please help I don't know what to do.
2007-02-11 23:33:42 · 26 answers · asked by liliana2025 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you feel like it is cheating, then it is cheating and your husband needs to respect that. It is up to you whether you will regain trust.
2007-02-11 23:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience I have learned you must trust your instincts. The best way to find out, is to check you cell phone bill, check his emails, text messages, check and investigate anything and everything dont be nieve. (if he is going odd places or coming home late then check up on him on the downlow to see where he is if you FEEL like he is lying)I know this from experience. men/women can have what is called an emotional affair as well. If he didnt cheat physically he could be cheating emotionally. Which is just as bad in my opinion, I have been through that to. Talk to him and if he gets defensive about it, then that shows you that he is hiding something or feeling guilty for something. Just keep your eyes open and listen to your head not your heart.
trust is one of the most important things and once it is lost it is hard to get that back. So explain that to him and that you want him to be completly honest with you and how much all of this has bothered you. If he doesnt listen again, keep your eyes open hun!
2007-02-12 07:23:01 · answer #2 · answered by smilesallthetime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront the other women too, it takes two to tango, I would phone her husband and e-mail proof of what has been going on!
Maybe this lady is fabricating stories, that is what cheaters normally do. Even if the don't get together physically, there has to be a stop put to this.
I would then kick my husband's *** out the door.
2007-02-11 23:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not really cheating, he's just fantasizing about someone, like if he were reading a story in a book or watching a movie. Fantasy is completely natural...but he shouldn't hide it from you and he shouldn't spend too much time online with that woman if there really was nothing going on.
You should talk to him and be straight forward about your feelings and your fears...keep everything out in the open.
2007-02-11 23:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is cheating.
2007-02-15 00:19:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does need to participate and build the trust. The way you can find out if he is still talking to her is to pretened it doent bother you anymore and then observe closely his phone bills/phone history computer email history etc. He will get careless if he thinks your not looking but more secretive if he thinks you are. If he says he has stopped talking to her doesnt mean he has..if he thinks you are onto him and he wants to talk to her he could get a new email address, delete his call history, and be with her when you arent around. DO you want that? I would investigate deeper into this and put some kind of tracking software onto his computer.
2007-02-12 03:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was certainly cheating hon, you pull him into line before he hurts you and himself! He's a fool, and he knows it! Tell him to grow up before he does anymore damage! And don't trust him anymore until he earns it! Show him this reply if you want too! Have a good day!
2007-02-11 23:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you ask me i am a guy and i know what it is like to be cheated on.i have a wounderfull girlfriend who i would never cheat on.but on a guys view why he did this is maybe there is something missing out of your life's together something you need to get back.I think what you should do is one delete her number on his cell phone then see if you can get him to come home early one night like a Friday night and go out to eat or movie or something you both enjoy doing together.hope it works for you.
2007-02-11 23:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wether he is cheating or not is all on how you define cheating, but the bigger question is are you willing to put up with and live with this type of behavior? What would he do if the situation was reversed?
2007-02-12 00:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he has been dishonest with you. If he is not able to be open with you, then he probably has something to hide. Emotionally and mentally he is connecting with this woman. If you were communicating with someone you had had sex with in the past and not telling him about it, would you feel as if you were cheating? Trust yourself in this.
2007-02-14 01:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by st.uncumber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋