My daughter lived in another state with her Dad. He moved due to job reasons. His mother was helping take care of her.
I felt that she was alone and so I left my job and came to take care of her. She is 14 and needs a mother at this time. She was not getting the proper care and attention.
I live in another state.
Now that I have returned I see that the situation is the same as it was before. I am staying with my daughter and my ex-husband is controlling and manipulative. He wants to have too much say in my life and we are not even married.
I have listened to my daughter and mother-in-law and come back to the misery that I have been away from for about 5 years.
I don't know how to handle the situation.
I can ask my daughter to come back to live with me and just go back or be here until the semester is over. I don't know if I have just made my life more difficult.
2007-02-11 23:27:32 · 8 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you sound so confused I'm sorry your in so much pain, your in a very sticky situation I can understand this but I believe you have answered your own question! should you stay and relive the misery you moved from definitely no....get away as soon as you can explain to your daughter how you feel she's not a baby any more she may just have an idea your not comfortable I bet she knows! ask her how she feels listen and then decide if your prepared to live like this hopefully your daughter will decide to come along, here's wishing you all the best take care and good luck
2007-02-11 23:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by yah yah sisterhood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you do know that you made your life more difficult. It's hard to believe you had separated yourself from this situation for 5 years and would walk back into it. If you left a job and actually moved in with your ex and he's supporting you then I suppose he thinks he has the power, it wasn't good before and unless you change something (counseling or outside help of some kind) then not much is gonna change. You need to ask yourself what you really want, if you want to raise your daughter then you need to be able to support you and her on your own. Good Luck!
2007-02-12 07:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by kmv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made your life more difficult but you are serving the higher good of being with your daughter. Increased difficulty goes hand in hand with helping your daughter. Therefore you must quietly accept the increased difficulty. Your ex husband is controlling. You have always known he was controlling. That is his being. But you went to help your daughter (the higher good) despite this. It is therefore useless to fret now about his true nature. That is WHAT IS. Conflict arises because you are imagining a WHAT SHOULD BE.
So to end conflict you must stay and help your daughter and endure your ex husband until the semester ends. In fact, if you accept the situation, and accept your ex husbands controlling nature you might notice something wonderful going on all around you that few notice.
In life NO ONE CONTROLS ANYTHING REALLY.
Life is spontaneously taking place, arising out of nothing, going nowhere 'up ahead',. It is wondrous.
Seeing into the truth of this brings freedom from all conflict.
2007-02-12 07:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wasn't your daughter with you in the beginning? I think you should take your daughter back with you and try to raise her the best way possible. Sit down with her father and tell him how you feel about him trying to control you. Goodluck
2007-02-12 07:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YOU CAN ASK YOUR DAUGTHER TO GO WITH YOU.. SHE IS A MINOR AND YOU ARE HER MOTHER.. AND IF THE FATHER NEEDS HELP TO TAKE CARE OF HER THEN SHE BELONGS WITH YOU AND WHERE YOU WANT TO BE AT.... YOU SEE THIS HAPPENDS WHEN PARENTS DONT LAY GROUNDS ON WHOS THE CHILD AND WHO IS THE PARENT.. YOU CAN TAKE THIS TO COURT IF YOUR HUSBAND DONT AGREE, BECAUSE NO WAY SHOULD YOU MOVE OUT OF STATE JUST TO ACCOMODATE HIM AND HIS CONTROLLING WAYS.. IT LOOKS LIKE TO ME BOTH YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR DAUGHTER ARE CONROLLING YOU.
AS A MOTHER YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR KID TOO... TAKE THAT GIRL WITH YOU AND WHEN SHE IS 18 IF SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO DAD WELL AT LEAST YOU ARE FREE OF WORRIES. GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-12 07:39:03 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your daughter safe and looked after? if she is 14 she will generally tell you what she thinks of the situation... give her the option of coming back with you and if she decides not to remind her that your door is ALWAYS open unconditionaly. return home and continue as before...
God Bless,
Bonnie
2007-02-12 07:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by Bonnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume her dad got custody? Bring it to the courts attention if shes still under 18 that you feel she's not getting the care she needs where she is. fight for full custody. (I wasn't clear if she's 14 now and it's been five years or if she was 14 five years ago...)
2007-02-12 07:44:34 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definatly ask her to come back
2007-02-12 07:37:59 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋