bullying in the workplace?

Question

hi. i was wondering am i being bullied?? when i was filling a company form , one of the wuestions was position or job. as i go out on the lorry and work in the store i was unsure what to write down, i asked my boss. he goaded back that i was a goffer. i asked him again five times but he laughed back goffer much to my annoyance. he is always intimidating me through his belowing and leaning towards me when he is talkingto me. last wek i gave him 24 hours notice that i had to take the last 3 hours off work due to a hosputal appointment. he accused me of "pulling a fast one and demanded when i got the appointment. i cant take any more of this. my confidence is shattered and i am anxious. what can i do?? is there anything i can do??

Answer 1

it definately sounds like bullying to me & its easy if people just get new jobs! no one should have to get up all hours for a job like that to get intimidated & abused. should sue him & kick his bum

Answer 2

1. You should know your own job title. If your boss called you a gopher, and you don't know what you are - then you should accept the title of gopher and move on.

2. Asking your boss the same question 5 times is annoying. If I was your boss, I would have given you hell for that. Your boss probably considered it a stupid question.

3. As your boss, he has a right to know when you have an appointment or any other condition that prevents you from doing your job. If he wanted to see a doctor's excuse, so be it. As long as you had one to give him, then you have nothing to worry about, but if you don't - how's he supposed to know that you're not just skipping out on him?

4. Your language suggests that you think very little of your boss. Words like "goaded", "demanded", "bellowing". I imagine your boss sees that attitude from you too.

5. Is there anything you can do? Sure. You can either get over it and get back to work, and try to treat your boss with a little more respect, regardless of how he treats you, or you can find yourself a new job. There are plenty of them out there, and some will undoubtedly pay you more money to do less work.

I'm sorry if my reply to you seems negative, but your question seemed very spoiled and negative to me, and I can't find anything that your boss did that was really wrong - just stuff that you have presented in a one-sided manner. You want to hear about bullying? Bullying is asking an employee to operate a piece of dangerous machinery that he has not been trained on, pressuring the employee to get the work done faster, and then when it does get done, asking what took so long. That's bullying. If you can tell me a story like that, then yes I'll agree you are being bullied. Until then, it sounds like what you have is just a boss that you don't like, who probably doesn't like you either.

My recommendation: get a new job. You won't be happy until you do, and I have always believed that if you're unhappy with your job, you should resign.

Answer 3

There are definitely elements of workplace bullying here, but workplace bullying is not black and white - in all cases it is a matter of degree.

Please visit http://www.bullyonline.org/ for useful information. It will also help you identify bullying behaviours more easily, and knowledge of the issue will empower you and help your self-confidence.

In terms of practical advice:

1. Start keeping a diary. Note down all incidents no matter how trivial (the pattern is more important than the seriousness of each individual incident), including time, date, who was involved, who witnessed, what happened and how it made you feel.

2. Start looking for another job. It is not good for you to remain in this environment and standing your ground is a lot less important than your self-confidence and mental wellbeing.

3. When your diary reaches more than 10-20 entries, write to your HR manager. Most ordinary managers can't recognise workplace bullying, but HR managers are more alert to the problem. In your letter, set out the various incidents you have diarised, and ask for the HR manager's help in making the behaviour stop. Tell him/her you just want to get on with your job. NB: If there is no HR manager, that is a real disadvantage for you - but complain instead to a senior manager. Do not complain direct to the bully, that is never appropriate in a genuine bullying sitation.

4. See whether you can find others in the workplace who have encountered similar behaviour from this person. There is strength in numbers. Be aware, however, that fear of the bully may lead people to avoid the issue. If you find more bullying targets though, you should all go to HR together.

5. Be aware that workplace bullying is an extremely difficult phenomenon for HR practitioners to identify, no matter how good the case. If you are the first complainant, it might be too hard for the company. They are only likely to feel confident acting against the bully if there have been other complainants before. Even if you are the first, think of future complainants. At your exit interview, present your diary to the company, and confirm you are leaving because of the bullying. The company will be able to use it in the future, even if not now.

6. Think very hard about whether to bother with legal action after you have left this workplace. First you would need to show there was a sufficient pattern to constitute bullying (50-60 incidents is ideal). Second, you would need to show you have brought it to the company's attention and the company has not addressed it sufficiently (create a PAPERTRAIL!!). Third, it is mentally hard, there are no certainties in a "grey" area of law, and you may be better off concentrating on recovering your own self-confidence than raking up the past.

Answer 4

It's bullying.

I don't know what form of work you do really, but one of the first things I'd suggest is Union representation. Are you a member? If there is a union in your place then join it and go and talk with them.

It wouldn't surprise me if this person hasn't been doind the same to other people, because once a bully, always a bully. Is there someone who you are friendly with at the workplace ? If there is try talking to them. You see a problem halved is a problem solved. That kind of conversation might open up a number of possibilities for you, and you may find a like minded person who has experienced the same difficulties.

The trouble is, it needs someone to stand up to him. You need to decide if you are that person, and that you are strong enough to take the flak when it comes. Believe in your self.

Good luck.

Answer 5

listen to an old timer kid, bad gaffers are ten a penny, what you are up against is a very old fashion gaffer he is using the same old tricks they used back in the sixties, he knows your ancious so he plays on it. in the haulage game if a driver ordered a day off to go to the dentist. what they would do is if the dentist appointment was on teusday morning, he would send the driver on a long overnight journey so he would miss it.just to weald power to prove to himself he has got you traped in fear of your job
so your working life will be in fear.next time you have an appointment, dont tell them, just have a day of ring in sick, that way he cant use it as an instrament of spite, guys like this have been around for ever.If you show courage guys would be 100 miles from home ring in argue on the phone then tell the gaffer your jackin it in leave the truck on the hard shoulder and hitch home. dosent usualy get that far they usualy back down. best of luck kid.

Answer 6

It doesn't sound like bullying to me, it just seems that you are a bit wet behind the ears. It's not unusual for an employer to expect that you ask for time off as soon as you are given an appointment - and as for being called a gopher - you should here some of the light-hearted names I get called at work.

If the jobs not for you - find another..

Answer 7

Yes you are. If whatever is being said/ done to you makes you feel bad then it's bullying it doesn't matter wether it fits into stereotype cases.

You could start writing down, specifically what he says/does and times. Take it to a higher manager and make an official complaint. Don't stand for this behaviour bullying can ruin your life long term.

Answer 8

Try to change jobs as soon as possible, run away before it's late. You'll only feel worse and worse if you don't do it and that might eventually rob you off any further chance of escape. Pay attention to your mental balance, that must always come first. Don't fiddle with that.

Answer 9

Send him a letter detailing your grievances, get a friend to help you with it if possible. Do not be insulting just truthful. Keep a copy, if you are not satisfied with his response talk to your union representative. Be aware he may take offense, and may be more offensive, you will need to be ready to verbally confirm what you have said in writing, but don't let him get away with it.

Answer 10

Next time he starts bellowing at you and is in your face, grab him by the neck and give him the old Glasgow Kiss. You won't have a job, but you'll feel a lot better having given the prat what he was sucking up for.