the question is....... shud she try to fake it some how or shud she tell him the truth.....n tellin him might lead her into serious trouble.
2007-02-11 22:16:27 · 21 answers · asked by misteriousmaiden 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
how can she fake it?
2007-02-11 22:27:51 · update #1
you could fake it and maybe getaway with it----would you want him to fake or lie to you about anything----the truth is always best----but if he doesn;t ask then don;t say anything
2007-02-11 22:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by mikeh_frog 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Really, the only solution is to marry the person you originally slept with.
Look, your husband will be LOOKING to see if you are a virgin, and if he's not convinced, then you could be in big trouble. Do you think your future husband is so stupid that he won't be able to tell, especially when he will suspect you are lying from the way you act etc.? People can tell something is not right? Do you think he doesn't know about virginity and all that stuff? So you are faced with a situation: if you lie and get caught out, then you'll be in really really big trouble. If you tell the truth, then you'll be in trouble. But if you lie and manage to deceive, then you'll seemingly escape from the situation. THAT is where you are mistaken! Things won't be any easier; you'll have started off your relationship on a huge lie. Your marriage is already headed towards destruction; you already don't trust your husband - for him to look after you as your non-virgin self, that he won't protect you from society; and you will wish that you had told him before. If you think you can get away with it you are very much mistaken! Despite what the people above have said, its just not going to happen!?
The truth will set you free.
Whatever trouble you're going to get in by telling him the truth (i.e. him then refusing to marry you; you being gossiped about; no-one else wanting to marry you etc. - it's going to be a whole lot less painful than if you marry him and THEN him finding out (which he will, because he isn't stupid, and he knows about virginity, and he'll be checking very closely like a doctor checking a rape victime to make sure you are a virgin.) This is one of the things he might do if he is suspicious, which he will be given the nervous way you'll inevitably act.
So in short: you'll be in big trouble if you tell, you'll be in EVEN MORE trouble if you don't tell. Neither is good.
Don't listen to the people above. They really don't understand your situation. I understand it perfectly, because I went through the exact same thing. But I was lucky, my husband accepted me even though I had sex with someone when I was in school. But then again, I was lucky that my husband was the type of man who forgave my mistakes.
Good luck, and I hope things go well for you. Best wishes,
2007-02-12 07:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by Sparky_3150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is very sensitive issue. And matters like that described above make the situation very critical if discussed among close minded people. So what i am trying to say here is, first judge the man and then decide weather you wants to tell the truth, or you need to sugarcoat it, or you simply need to lie or ignore/don;t talk about this discussion with your man.
So if you feel person has of open minded and can listen you patiently as well as understands you then tell the truth and talk about it. If you feel that person might be disturb with the real facts then just sugarcoat it with scientific facts.
For rest of men, just don;t discuss it or ignore the topic or simply lie or fake it.
2007-02-12 06:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by Ajeet S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of me wants to tell you to fake it, and that some information is best left unsaid. Another part of me wonders what kind of man would stop loving you or reject you because of a past that you cannot change and that you have learned from and moved forward from. Another part of me says that starting a marriage off with lies or deceit can only lead to disaster, mistrust, anger or resentment sometime in the future. That's one pro and two cons and that's all I can think of so far. If virginity is more important to the man than who the woman is or what she has become, then he may not be the right man for her.
2007-02-12 06:27:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you marrying him on the understanding that you are a virgin? If so, this isn't a good grounding for a marriage anyway. You should marry each other because you love each other. If this was the case, he would love you regardless.
I don't know what the serious trouble is - you'd have to be specific. Are you afraid for your safety? Either way, you're in trouble. I'd get out of it, if I were you. Say you don't like him.
2007-02-12 06:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh what a pickle. She could defiantly fake it, she could of lost her hymen by a number of things, dancing, etc.. But what would she want to do that for? Was he a virgin? If her life is at stake, or if she is extremely fearful of the consequences, then she is in an abusive relationship and needs to GET OUT NOW! He is not "THE ONE". She shouldn't beat herself up about the things she has done either, it is not worth it. She is human. My husband is aware of my past, as am I of his. I don not love him any less, nor he me. What we did in the past makes us who we are today. She should keep searching for the person who will love her no matter what. He is not it.
2007-02-12 06:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by adriannamarie19 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If you're living in a country where such a thing can be taken way too seriously and you'd find yourself in danger, yes fake it. If you're living in much of Europe, North America, Austrailia, then be yourself and do what you know to be right. Virginity is not very important like that except to women haters.
2007-02-12 06:25:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Telling it may lead the realtion in trouble before it gets started.
Ideal is just get this off from your mind.
a) Men never realize it
b) Even if they realize ,expalnation can always be given like too much aerobics, cycling etc.
But do not tell the truth if some mistake was commited in adolscense.
2007-02-12 06:21:39 · answer #8 · answered by ramesh c 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
One cannot normally find out the truth. Better keep quiet. No faking.
2007-02-12 07:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont believe in no sex before marrage so to me if i got married to a woman who wasnt a virgin and she openly said to me im not a virgin . i would say who cairs im not neither join the club . Its not as rare as you may think .
just tell your husband he probably isnt a virgin anyway !!!
not being a virgin before marrage only means you are not boaring and more expierianced and you know what they say practice makes perfect .
even if you dont tell him he will enjoy sex anyway because you have more experience therfore making a better shag . HE WILL LOVE IT !!!
2007-02-12 06:33:50 · answer #10 · answered by eddy m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a girl from a very conservative country I can fully understant your concerns. And...if you have no choise to tell him...and if you really love him and want to leave your past in the past then you...should fake, cause the truth may really hurt even if he loves you truly...
2007-02-12 06:24:01 · answer #11 · answered by ♥ jolie ♥ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋