Ok guys, was i right?

Question

Well you see i have lung cancer. I wanted to give up, i didn't want that hope and in the end have it crushed. So my bf and i got into a fight, and he said he wanted me to try, not only for myself, but for him too cause he needs me.

Then i tried calling him but he wouldn't answer.I left a message saying that i would give it a shot. He still didn't answer. We didn't speak for about a week before he came by. I then sat him down and said that i can't be manipulated into a situation where i have no choice. I said i will go ahead and try but will still keep the same mindset that i'm dead in 5 years. He said that's fine as long as i tried. I asked then why didn't he answer or contact me after the message about trying. He said he was busy. I then said i couldn't do this anymore, cause deep down i'm scared, i cry each night wishing this never happened to me, that i need someone there for me when i feel down, not to make me do things that i fear with a line about love and then not speak to me. I learnt love as being caring, accepting and most of all, understanding of. I said i wanted someone who felt the same way as i felt for them and that i couldn't see him anymore.

Was i right to break it off?

Answer 1

I don't know that anyone on here can tell you if you were right or wrong.

There are too many unknowns, here. How long have you known about your condition? How long has he known? How long have you been together? What was your mindset when you opted to finish it with him?

It seems to me he did care enough to want you to try and perhaps he is scared too because he doesn't know how to broach this with you.

You reckon on only having five years left. Would you like to spend them with him? Do you think he wants to spend them with you?

Ask him, for your answer.

And don't go quitting on life - however long you've got you should be living to enjoy it; not waiting on the inevitable.

Answer 2

To a degree I can empathise with you, I was diagnosed with a bad heart 3 yrs ago, & I'm still kicking against all the doctors said. But that is not my point.

I know I did not want to be alone. My bf and I went through a very hard time. He ia now an ex-drug addict. So not the best example of someone who is always there for you. But anyway I focused on our relationship helped him through his problem. Won his heart completely & now as he says he will kill or die for me. He worries about me. I am happy. I don't worry about the old ticker anymore and one thing he has taught me is live each day as it comes, and enjoy the moment.

So what I say to you from this is do you love him? Do you feel he loves you? Is this the first time he has failed to be there for you? How do you feel when you are with him? Does he make you happy? Does he make you feel alive?

Why would he ask you to fight, if he did not mean it? May be is stead of breaking it off you should of talked & said that you are going to need him. It seems to me that the 2 of you don't live together, maybe you should. That would be a good way to gage his seriousness.

The main thing I have learned is that only you can know if you were right or wrong. And to do that you must look inside yourself. Ignore what everyone else wants you to do & listen to what you want. You can bring advice recieved into account if you wish, but only you will know what makes you happy.

I hope this helps. Good luck. Don't give up! Never give up! Believe in yourself! Believe in love! & if you are of any particular religion, believe in your god!

In light and love
Namatse'
Oracle
Blessed be

Answer 3

Thats interesting. I think that your bf Just didnt want you to give up. Think of it as your sister and you (or bro whatever)

What if they said im giving up. To hear someone say those words when you love them so much... i would do anything to get them fighting it again.


This lung cancer effects you and everyone around you. Yes its your choice to give up but doing that tears everyone around yous heart out. I was in that exact situation (someone had cancer) and everyone she knew did almost that same thing when she said that including her husband and daughter.


It might be selfish of him but you have to see it from his persepective too. Would you want him too give up if he had cancer or would you want him to fight it as best he could so you could be together and in love longer?

I think that he did what alot of people would have done. Cancer is hard on everyone, not just the people who have it and i personally hope you do keep on fighting. Lots of love and Best wishes.

D. Allman

Answer 4

i cant say if you were right or not because its hard to figure out but i think that if you love him and he loves you that you should have stayed together. i lost my dad when i was about 9 to lung cancer. that time after he found out and mostly when he was in the hospital was the most time i got to spend with him and the best. if you're scared, thats an even bigger reason to be with some one you love and who loves you.

Answer 5

better off alone than in a toxic relationship.
you'll end up breaking up anyway, best do it now, while you can still find someone that treats you how you want to be treated, lung cancer or not.

mate, we're all dying, some just quicker than others. enjoy the time you have, and don't live in the past.

Answer 6

Mate that all depends if you want to spend the rest of your life alone. Only you know if its right for you ,we can all give our opinions, but you have to do whats right for you. Do you feel better now? if not theres your answer

Answer 7

Yes you were. A guy who never cares for you when you are down sounds dumb to me.. well, good luck with life.... :-)

Answer 8

Yes.. i think so... well.. he he comes back to you i guess he really loves you if he dont hes not worth it

Answer 9

sorry pal...