what are your suggestions for a fitting punishment?

Question

for a 14 year old boy who is refusing to go to bed when asked, cooks pizza at midnight and cant get up for school in the morning?

Answer 1

What I would do, is one night when he refuses to go to bed let him stay up as late as he wants, but then wake his butt up at 4:30 in the morning for a morning jog with you.

For the pizza bit, for the first time, you could trick him. When he goes down stairs or whatever to get the pizza, have the pizza boxes in there but, empty out the pizza that is in there. So when he grabs the box, there is no pizza in it!

Also, if this type of behavior presists, then I would do more of a means of punishment, I mean he's not to big to bend over your knee and ring a belt over his bottom. I wouldn't stand for his type of behavior he needs to learn that he is not in charge, that he needs to learn proper time management skills.

Also, for not getting up for school, when he starts going to bed earlier it should be easier, but if he refuses to start making him get up earlier and earlier until he gets the point, sleepin in just that little bit is so much better I better learn to get up at the right time.

Answer 2

Tell him your concerns and how angry/confused you are of him doing so, and ask him why he is cooking pizza at midnight (Did he not eat enough or something?) and also if he cant get up and he is late to school doesnt he have to get a late slip, not good on reports. Punishment! Aka what everyone else said, but you gotta talk to him, or else the punishment wont really be that much of a help, he is just gonna rebel because that is what teenage boys are like.

Answer 3

where is he getting the pizza from?? If it's out of YOUR fridge/freezer then put a lock on them! don't give him any pocket money-that's to pay for the midnight snacks & extra gas & electric he's using/wasting. In the morning set an extra loud alarm clock next to his head, make sure you remove his duvet from over him and open all windows so he'll freeze!! Or just invite some friends over and all troop in his room at 7/8 a.m and start talking about womens problems? Turn the electric off too at night for a few minutes so he can't cook... or just stop doing ANYTHING for him anymore-tell him if he can't obey parental rules then you'll stop being a parent (which means stop buying him nice food,snacks etc-anything he likes-just buy the essentials for him,don't iron,cook,clean,let him use the phone,watch t.v,use a p.c or games console) or even better-if he has a p.c/tv or games console remove it from his room and tell him you have sold it to pay for the extra bills from his midnight cooking...there are loads of ways to bug him into stopping!!

Answer 4

I totally agree with Emily N. When you say he can't get up for school in the morning, I am assuming that you are making him go anyways? He needs to learn. There is no need to protect him from consequences. Basically, remove his TV privileges, junk food and money, and hinder his going out. Also, investigate why he doesn't want to go to school. There may or may not be an underlying reason; he might be testing his limits to see how much he can get away with. A lot of the times, if a teen is dreading school it is usually insecurity or lack of confidence or complete fear.

Answer 5

Teenagers' natural sleep cycle is different than adults' in that they naturally don't feel sleepy or tired until late at night, and want to sleep in until noon. I'm just telling you that the boy you describe is not so unusual in his desire to stay up late and sleep in late. However, that doesn't excuse him from his behavior. The most effective punishments for teens is removal of privileges. But there always has to be a way to get them back, and it has to be for a reasonable amount of time. Maybe a week the first time, and the second time two weeks and increase it each time until the message is clear. If you have to ground him for a month then so be it. He'll survive and life in general will be more bearable when it's all over. If grounding isn't enough, the next step would be chores. Give him various tasks to do, be creative. That might send a stronger message.

Answer 6

Threaten to home school him. Tell him if he thinks he is too cool to go to bed at a reasonanble time and wake up in the morning for school, then you will start teaching him once he wakes up (if you have a job during the day, say that you will send him to a homeschool group). From what I can see he does not have some sort of sleeping problem, he just wants to stay up late and since most teenagers need about ten hours of sleep, he is not getting enough sleep to be able to wake up.

Answer 7

I would stop all his pocket money and put a lock on his bedroom door so he couldnt get out at night.

I would also tell him some truths about what he will be doing at 16, when schools over. Are you willing to keep paying for him when you no longer get money to help keep him (child benefit).

Just tell him the truth, but dont get into an argument with him. Your the boss, if he doesnt go to school/get up for school or help keep the house clean. he doesnt get money... Make him pay for every pizza he eats at midnight.

Good luck!

Answer 8

stop buying pizza and FORCE him to get up. He is only 14 and I am assuming you are the parent. Act like one. A kid can only push a parent so far. Don't let him push you until he has control. If he won't get up, make it absolutely miserable for him to stay in bed. Turn on the lights, take away covers, make lots of noise, open his windows if it is cold out, take away all privileges such as video games, tv and computer and let him earn them back one at a time, make doing the right thing easier and more appealing.

Answer 9

He's fourteen, he's old enough to talk to, not to punish. He needs to start taking responsibility for himself.
Ask him what he sees himself doing in ten years time - what kind of career he wants to go into. Ask him what he needs to do to get there. If he has no fixed ideas, get him thinking about it.
Get him thinking about how he wants to be a man in his own right, and how being a man means being in charge of his life, managing his time and his health sensibly.
Get him an alarm clock, tell him he's responsible for getting himself up in the morning, that he's responsible for getting himself to bed on time so that he can wake on time.
Let him know you'll support him, but not do for him. Find out the requirements for the kind of careers he expresses an interest in, make him understand that he has to work towards those requirements steadily by going to school regularly and performing well at school.
Get him a food pyramid and teach him about nutrition and health. Help him to see the benefits of eating regular healthy meals. Let him have a healthy supper before bed, so there's no need for pizza at midnight.
He'll get there in the end! It just takes a little encouragement. Good luck.

Answer 10

I love Alan A's answer there.
OK so he's up at midnight cooking Pizzas, set the next mornings alarm at 0600 and GET him out of bed and downstairs washing up the things he used to cook the pizza. Take NO excuses, GET him out of bed.
Next he cleans his shoes until you can your face in them and THEN he makes his OWN packed lunch. He irons his OWN uniform and tidies his room and then off to school.
When he gets back he does his homework, then does chores around the house, NO EXCUSES.
Then we'll see how long the midnight feasts go on.