I have a friend who is always so concerned with how she loks, and always craves the attention of others (particularly men). It really bugs me!! she is constantly over-dressed (for example, if we go to a casual lunch, she will spend hours getting ready), and always is looking to ensure that all attention is focussed on her. It really bothers me because I constantly feel ill at ease in her presence. It is almost like she is competeing with everybody for attention, when all I want is to be her friend! How do you deal with a person like this?
2007-02-11
21:02:04
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13 answers
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asked by
jemm4president
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Friends
Just see her as she really is. If she makes you feel ill at ease, then she must feel uneasy about herself as a person. By going to all this trouble competing with other people on the outside, there must be something pathetically lacking in her from the inside. For her to crave this kind of attention she must not have much self esteem and probably is overwhelmed with self doubt. In a way it's all so very sad. The only way to deal with her is for you to be calm. If you let her bother you it only serves to make you less of a person. You don't have half of the issues that she faces in expressing herself as a person. You can be relaxed in the company or others without having the need to put on a show. So who do you think is really better off? Do you think that you are the only one who notices how she behaves? So don't rain on her parade. When this facade comes crashing down some day then you will have your chance to prove how much of a friend you are and how much you can be there for her.
2007-02-11 21:52:25
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answer #1
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answered by quantumview 5
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Try to look at it from her point of view. Does she have low self-esteem or something similar? Understanding where she's coming from will help you have empathy for her. It might also enable you to find a way to talk to her about it, as I'm sure you're not the only one bothered by this behaviour. Be a good friend, put up with the behavior while you try to help her work past it.
If it's not something she wants to work past, perhaps the two of you aren't really compatible as friends.
2007-02-11 21:07:49
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answer #2
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answered by Raising6Ducklings! 6
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I also have a friend who is like this. The thing to remember is that you can't change who she is. I don't care for the way my friend acts in public or how embarrassed I feel so I try to only hang out with her at her house. We aren't very close anymore because of this but it is better than dealing with her all of the time.
2007-02-11 21:07:21
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I have been there, however i dealt with it gracfully. If she always talk about herself, give ur full attention to her and just nod along, and if she asked for ur opinion, just say people have different in liking and styles. Then turn away. If she continue to ask what you meant, just repeat it again and give her ut full attention again if she wants to talk about herself again. Repeat the routine in one converstion, and i think you will unlikely to be the person that she would want to talk about "Her" the next time. She will find someone who give her "real" (telling her she's pretty and all sort of crap) comments.
*when u pay attention to her, ur mind can wonder, you dont need to really listen to her, but ur eyes needd to be on her but you are subtly sending out the msg that SHE'S BORING AND I AM SICK OF LISTENING TO YOUR BS.
2007-02-11 21:15:26
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answer #4
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answered by cheeryviola 3
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Why do u bother to be her friend anyway? I f I were u, I would find somebody else that is fun to be with.
2007-02-11 21:06:00
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answer #5
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answered by abi 2
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You let your friend know that you dont appreciate her being such an attention-w.hore and that it shows insecurity. Let her know that she herself probably doesnt do it conciously, but still that's annoying. If she doesnt stop, you'll "N.E.X.T" her.....
2007-02-11 21:07:36
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answer #6
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answered by Herbal 2
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i think you need to find better friends she is just using you trying to make you feel bad
2007-02-11 21:07:18
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answer #7
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answered by mountainchowpurple 4
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I had this kind of friend too, they totally disgusted me so i stop messing with them.
2007-02-11 21:06:01
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Not sure! I saw your name and anyone who ends their name with 4president is pretty cool though!
2007-02-11 21:19:37
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answer #9
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answered by Evan's secret identity 2
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for one, quit hanging out with her,,, 2nd, you could plan something and have a male friend intentionally bust her ego.... i for one am great at doing that....
2007-02-11 21:05:43
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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