My husband R. told me that years ago he watched rape roleplay porno and enjoyed it, but that he would never actually rape anyone. I was raped as a teen and I think if me and R. could stage
a fake rape (roleplay) that that might help me let go of the past.
I don't want R. to get intrested in this kinda thing again. Is this a
good idea? at all?
2007-02-11 20:01:29 · 16 answers · asked by Dragonfly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm no psychiatrist, but I can only see that causing major damage to your psyche and to your relationship with your husband.
2007-02-11 20:04:59 · answer #1 · answered by Omni D 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
To me the BIG risk seems to be that if you do it once, he's going to want to do it again. I'm not saying he's going to turn into a murderous freak and go on a real life rampage, but he may want to live the fantasy with you more than once.
Risk number two would be that it really freaks you out and you don't want any sort of sex with him again.
I don't know. I wouldn't just jump into it. Have you spoken to other people who have been raped, have they tried this? I'm not really sure how its going to let you 'let go of the past'. Are you trying to 'take control' of the situation a bit?
I don't know. If you try it, make sure you have a safe word. I'm not convinced you know what you're getting into here. I mean if during it, you look at R. and see a look of fiendish delight on his face ... how are you going to feel about him going forward? Are you expecting to enjoy or not enjoy this 'simulation'? Either is okay- I just hope you're prepared to handle the feelings.
2007-02-12 10:12:13 · answer #2 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We all have our fantasies and there is no harm as long as they remain fantasies. In fact they are quite helpful in spicing up our sex life.
Your husband got excited by watching rape scene from porno. Obviously, any action to realise that would excite him even more.
You were raped at teen age and the troma, I believe that is what you are experiencing, still there in your head. You wonder if re-acting a rape scene with your husband would released you form that troma? How?
Have you ever thought of making your husband "accustemed" to this kind of act in future, once he tested it with his wife and now would want the real thing, because the one with his wife was fake?!!!!!
Its not a good idea, at all. If your husband is really honest, and I do not doubt his sincerity at all, have you ever thought of the possibility of making him wanting to "rape" you now and then for his enjoyment. Has it ever occured to you that one day the game may turn into a real nightmere to you and him?
Don't do it! Its not a cure to your problem nor a guarantee for him not repeat it, either with you or with somebody else.
All the best!
2007-02-12 04:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Ebby 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think fantasies like that are healthy, I know it was consensual porn, but it's asking for trouble. Anyone who gets their kicks from this sort of porn is getting turned on at the thought of dominating another person, and getting a thrill from someone being scared of them and in pain. I was also raped when I was 19, and nothing on earth would make me want to go through that again, even as role play, it would just make me think of my b/f raping me.
2007-02-12 11:53:33 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me on this one.....Do not do it. It will scar you emotionally and bring back thoughts from the past for you.
Also, if you let him do it and he really enjoys it. That wouldnt be a good thing because he may want to do it all the time, or go and do the real thing.
Its better to just talk about this a little more and maybe you could go to counselling together if it becomes a problem.
2007-02-12 04:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No! I dont think that would help you let go of the past at all, this is something yoy really need to think through, you shoudl discuss this with your husband as well and get his opinion about the whole idea. You could end up resenting your husband if things dont turn out the way you planned or expected.
2007-02-12 04:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that Rape is a very evil thing and should have no place in your marriage and neither should porno. If he loves you why would he ever want to hurt you. and I was brutally raped as a teen too, and still suffer nightmares, panic attacks and trauma from it. so as a rape victim you should be way too terrified to even let him come close to reenacting that. oh my GOSH, I would like have a heart attack, If i even pretended.
2007-02-12 04:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by siayae 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound mean but I think you 2 should get professional help. What you just said is sexual deviance of a serious disorder that should be looked into by an objective professional who specializes in that area.
You did the best thing you ask the question, I think that is a good sign.
2007-02-12 04:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Mijoecha 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the way you say what he want to do isn't bad, if he was like look ally would be a good place to rape someone wouldn't. however if you have been, then this would be the stupidest thing you could ever do, what if it you couldn't stop thinking about your rape? what if you freaked out? the ristk is too risky.
2007-02-12 04:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My ex girl friend was a rape victim. Despite this, she used to tell me her fantasy is to get raped by me. I found it wierd and never obliged.
Is this your fantasy as well and trying to blame your husband hes a wierdo ?
2007-02-13 15:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by simplesolutions 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋