ok so i have a massive problem which involves me my hubby his brother and a good friend. my brother in law owes my friends alot of money and i mean alot, and he wont pay up. my friend keeps asking me if i have seen him about and to let him no when i do and my hubby keeps telling me to say i dont know anything. more recently i have found out that some of my in laws and hubby friends are gonna take things into their own hands which i think is totally wrong!!! i dont want my friend to get hurt
HELP!!!!
2007-02-11 19:52:54 · 14 answers · asked by sammy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
will this ruin my relationship with my husbands family, if i go on my friends side as i totally agree my brother in law is in the wrong and should pay up the money he owes,
2007-02-11 23:23:05 · update #1
your hubby is telling you to say nothing cos he wants to protect his brother, and you want to protect your friend, its a difficult one cos if you tell your friend they coming for him it looks like you are warning him off asking for his money back, your friend was kind enough to loan your bro in law and now he cant/wont pay it back! well i would have to have a word with hubby of bro in law and tell him they are in the wrong and if they go after this kind friend then you will warn him and call the police i know this will be hard to do but your bro in law is bang out of order, good luck
2007-02-11 22:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Honesty ♥.•´ `*.¸ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like pretty scary stuff and you could get hurt too if you make this your problem. This is out of your league. Large sums of money loaned out to someone in a private venture can be serious stuff and I am thinking that your brother in law knew what he was getting into when he borrowed it. There is a code among certain groups of people that you pay your debts or at least be up front about having a problem with making a payment or you pay much more than just interest. Therefore I am sure your friends are already aware that there may be trouble. You need not warn your friend because he too was about to deal with things. If you must do something you could try talking to your husband quietly and tell him how you feel. He probably has no control over what might or might not happen and since it is his brother and it sounds like they are very close, you are in a tough spot. It seems immoral to sit back and do nothing, on the other hand to call the police when nothing has happened won't help either as they are kept busy with stuff that is happening. I am pretty sure neither side would be happy with you if you did. If your husband does not put you at ease after talking to him and you find that he is involved in something serious like hurting someone maybe there are some things you may want to think over.You may find some comfort in a church of your faith, you can pray, light a candle or whatever and leave this problem to a higher power. There is nothing you can do to fix this. If something does happen there would have been nothing you could do to prevent it and you will have to decide what to do about where you stand with hubby and your in laws. Such as - is this okay with you and do you want to be a part of this? If nothing happens then thank God and get on with your life. I think you will find either way you are going to look at your brother in law and hubby in a different light. I know this isn't much help for you and I am guessing some people are going to think I am not a nice person, but I do know you need to distance yourself from this before anything happens. Keep busy, find activities to distract yourself from thinking about this. Things may be looking pretty dismal right now and hopefully you will find you over reacted, but either way you need to take care of yourself first and let the others play out their drama. Hope this helps and good luck.
2007-02-16 00:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by tuxedocat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sammy
Firstly, I must say that a real friend would not involve you in what clearly is a conflict of interests for you.
Your husband is giving you good advice, he is protecting you from getting involved in something which could turn nasty
So don't let your in-law or your friend involve you! This is only your problem because you are putting yourself in the middle!
My advice is... Stay out of it! ..& to stay neutral, say nothing about that subject to anyone, not only is it not your business, but you may only make things more difficult for everyone.
They will then have a better opportunity to sort things out man to man with no-one getting hurt
2007-02-14 20:57:47 · answer #3 · answered by healer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell all of them you don't want to be involved. But at the same time I would tell you're hubby and his family if they are going to plot to hurt you're friend when you know the brother in law is wrong that you are not going to sit back and keep you're mouth shut. Tell them you will for warn you're friend. Other than tell them you do not want to be in the middle of their mess.
2007-02-16 16:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by Shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend and accept that you married into a rough family if you owe money you should pay up and your brother in law is a lout
2007-02-12 07:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just keep out of it, It really is not any of your business! Let everyone know you will not take sides, even if you have a clear idea of who is in the wrong!
2007-02-19 19:23:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not for you to sort it out. Both parties are old enough to deal with their own problem. You would only exacerbate the situation and, almost certainly, hurt yourself. Leave it well alone and tell your friend you can do nothing about it..
2007-02-12 08:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont u talk to your friend and ask him to pay up if its for his own good say something to him. This might sound harsh but if he doesnt do anything then u could tell the cops that you're frightened that your in-laws might hurt your fiend other than that u could try talking to your husband and ask him to stop his brother from doing anything.
2007-02-12 04:51:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
stay out of it all. your hubby is totally right - u say u don't know nothing and it is none of your business. u re not responsible for anything of this
2007-02-12 03:57:29 · answer #9 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Listen to your husband and let things work themselves out
2007-02-12 04:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋