How do I tell my parents I'm a pagan?

Question

I am a thirty year old man. I love my parents very much. My father is a strictly conservative, Pentecostal preacher. And my mother has had several nervous breakdowns. So I don't want to be to blame for my mother having another. I'm afraid she will flip again if I tell her. I have lived this lie around them for several years. I have done this so I can have a relationship with my parents. I don't want to lose that. I simply feel they deserve to know the truth. I want to be an honorable and honest man and I can't say that about myself with this looming over my head. I just don't know what to do. Is there anyone out there that can help me. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you

Answer 1

Just tell them!

Answer 2

I am 19/F having almost exactly the same problem, only I am still semi-dependent on my mother. Will be curious to see what others say, and I'd love to hear how things go for you.
That said, I'd reccomend perhaps just telling your parents you don't consider yourself Christian anymore. If they ask what you DO consider yourself, I'd tell them they can call it what they'd like but that you believe in divinity in nature and that any God figure is just as real as any other, or whatever you believe. You don't have to put a name on it to be honest with them, and they'll probably take it better if you don't. Good luck with this!

Answer 3

Your answer is already stated in your question. You do not want to lose your relationship with your parents. I have toiled with the same question myself. Not only do I not worship the christian god as do my parents, I am also gay. I have never told my father because to confront him with this would bring only unhappyness for him. I had to realize that I could still live my life and be happy with who I was without having to seek an acceptace I would never get. Stop seeing your choice in religion as somthing that "looms" over you and your relationship with your family. If it makes you happy and content then you should not feel the urge to confront them with it. You will never change their mind on the subject and only cause them worry over you. Don't break their heart over something they simply cannot understand or accept. It will create a rift that will be hard for any of you to cross once it is created.

Answer 4

You say that you think they deserve to know, yet you also say that this knowledge could cause your mother to "flip again". Is that what she deserves??. (Just trying to provide food for thought.)

I don't see how anything can be gained by telling your parents something that will have an adverse effect on them. If they could handle it, I would suggest (by all means) "being honest" ... but if being honest is going to cause them pain, then where is the LOVE in that?

(Kind of like telling someone they are ugly, just because it is the truth.)

Answer 5

I've faced the same problem with my mom. I had to explain my self for my peace of mind and the fact that I have a alter in my living room plus she was coming to stay with me. I would start with hints asking about their option of your view but not staying that your views like dad what you think about blank. see where it sits with them. I would also ask about how felt about children that have different belief then their parents and if that would give just cause for those parents to not love their kid or destroy the relationship with them. if you feel safe with their answers i would find a time and place that is neutral and just tell them and be will to catch all hell for it. good luck and do what gives you peace of mind and soul

Answer 6

well dude you are like in my situation except i am not a pagan i am just like questionning a lot my religion and i like you have kept it like silent because my dad is a precher dude and my mom well she has a lot of offices that she has at church i think that in your case you should keep it to yourself and well i mean u are like 30 dude u are not 18 or 17 when you still had to live under their domain but remember to always do what your heart dictates and if your heart wants to be free and you want to be honorable and honest then do what your heart dictates i on the other hand am 18 and well i am keeping this to myself...

good luck dude

Answer 7

You should tell them all of that. Just what you said here.
I never really came out and told my parents, but eventually they came to know. My father refuses to acknowledge it and still sends me things about how it's one nation under God and if you don't like it you should move to France, like I'm supposed to agree and think it's funny. My step-dad has completely disowned me, but I never liked him anyway. My mom is totally cool and has even embroidered a lovely altar cloth for me and worked with me to design a cover of my Book of Shadows. Unfortunately, I still have to hold hands and say grace with everyone at Thanksgiving dinner. But there are worse things.

Answer 8

I would suggest you take them to dinner, make them comfortable, judge their moos. Try very hard to get them into as good a mood as possible.

I would suggest that after you get them into a good mood, possibly after dinner, you take them to their house, where they are most comfortable, sit them down, and try to explain to them that you love them very much, and that you need them to try and listen with an open mind with what you're about to tell them.

Then as simply as you can, tell them you're Pagan,

There really isn't a right way to do this. But I think comfort and trust are the biggest factors involved.

Good luck to you sir.

Answer 9

say you are gay...when they are highly upset....tell them you are only kidding but you are a pagan....no seriously, they probably know something is up so if you tell them be prepared to defend your decision...and your mother's nervous breakdowns are about her ability to deal with adversity...so regardless of what you tell her...if she seeks a good counselor, even a christian one, they can teach her techniques to deal with things in a productive way.
-lyn

Answer 10

nothing else to do but tell them and be honest. But be ready for an assured breakdown- again.

Answer 11

Cast a spell on them first-- like turning them into toads or something and then cast the counter spell. They'll be impressed.