Do some (male to female) Transexuals feel irritated about women who seem to take their femininity for granted?

Question

I was just thinking about how many women today, in a sense, reject femininity while many transexuals embrace it. Like for example, women who feel it's a form of oppression that men enforce on women to shave their legs, facial hair, or armpits. Many women reject wearing dresses. & Many women reject being in a real relationship with men & would rather strengthen their careers. Just to be clear, I DON'T have any problem with that, it's their choice.

What I DO find interesting is, many Transexuals are the opposite, & embrace wearing skirts, shaving body hair for that smooth delicate/feminine appearance. & many can only wish & hope to find a real man to fall in love with & be with.

With all of the women who were born fully as females who reject their femininity, & many of the Transexuals who feel terrible because they can never have that natural feminine body no matter how much surgery, I wonder if any ever feel bothered by that, & feel some women take what they have for granted?

EffYew: Good answer. One thing though, many men feel that most women are terrible people as well. Both sexes/genders have a huge group in each side that hate the opposite sex. Some reasons for the hate is a result of pure sexism, which seperate the sexes even more.

Even so, (Male to female) Transexuals, and (Female to Male) Transexuals still seek love from those that most people have abandoned, which I find interesting.

EffYew: Maybe the sexism that women and men have for each other, opens more opportunity for Transexuals to date and bisexuals to date. Maybe heterosexuality is on a downfall completely, or becoming the small minority.

just_love_human: Actually I'm not complaining at all. I'm just asking a question out of curiousity.

Strangesuzy: Interesting, & a great answer. I have to ask a question to you that many may find offensive. Question is: What do you think of some black women who do the same as transexuals with beauty? I've seen many black women who don't look as feminine as they feel they should, & based on the American media's ideals, do what some transexuals do. Some actually end up looking like transexuals with over down makeup, wigs of straight hair, over done clothes, outlandishly long nails & blindlingly bright colored nail polish. Some even dye their hair blond & even wear blue eyes contacts (like Lil'Kim).

This tells me that Transexuals aren't the only ones who have idealized views of how women should be.

Also, since there's so many men who mistakenly feel they are TS, it makes me wonder if this is because of being overly feminized & confused by this country/media, or their parents. Maybe they been trained that masculinity is bad, or they're not masuline enough, & no one helps them.

kendra bryn: Actually, there's nothing in my question that should make you think I'm stereotyping Transexuals. If the question was, "Since ALL transexuals are feminine and desire it, are they bothered by women who reject femininity". But I didn't generalize.


WIth this question, I'm just looking to read what different feelings and opinions people say about this so I can learn more.

As for the rest of your question, good information. I wasn't sure how many M to F Transexuals are able to get good jobs and get to live the way they want in society.

FTW: Based on your response, I feel I must clearify my question. I'm not talking about the transexuals who over-do the makeup and outfits to the point of nastyness. I'm talking about the femininity that your talking about. Basic femininity. And I'm talking about how some women will go as far as to not shave their legs, facial hair, never dress in at least a subtle feminine way because they feel that it caters to what men want to see. Where as transexuals usually don't want facial hair or hairy legs and so they shave to feel more feminine. I'm talking about the ones who want to feel more feminine based on how they naturally feel. Not the ones trying to look like a porn star.

Answer 1

Well, I'll probably upset a few people with my answer, but they do say the truth hurts. Before anyone gets on their high horse though, I'll just point out that I'm a post op TS, and spent some time meeting 'others'. I found that the vast majority of them weren't really TS at all. Most were simply transvestites who wanted to take their fetish as far as they possibly could. This often included full gender reassignment for people who should never have been allowed near hormones, let alone a surgeons knife. I know of several who went back to living as male shortly after surgery, and a number of others who have quietly said it was a big mistake. I even know of one who screamed in the recovery room when they realised what had happened!

These confused transvestites all have some idealised view of how women should be. They tend to be the ones who think that all women should wear skirts, shave their legs, put on make-up, and always wear heels. They need to look around and see what the real world is like. Most women now wear jeans or trousers. Make up isn't worn that often, and when it is, it tends to be only a little.

Real women have never been like the stereotypes that some believe in.

By the way, I haven't bothered with make up for several years, and rarely wear a skirt. I don't need to. Niether do the handful of genuine transexuals I have met. Unfortunately the confused transvestites have created more problems for us than any phobias could ever have done.



Thank you for your response. As far as why some black women over do things, I really don't know. I suspect it's a cultural thing in the states. Here in the UK, we don't see that sort of dress sense amongst the black community. I suspect the race issue plays a strong part in it, because I get the impression that in america many black people are treated as less than human, so maybe it's a response to that.

Kendra. Not every transexual is as succesful as we have been following surgery. In the UK, and in america most tend to be just as much a failure after surgery as before. It shows that surgery isn't a magic cure for all your problems like the confused transvestites seem to believe. If you have problems before surgery, you will probably still have them afterwards. All my surgery did for me was to give me the confidence I so lacked, because afterwards I finally felt right. As a result, within 18 months of surgery I went from earning just over £10K per annum, to earning £24.5K. Not everyone will do the same, because not everyone should have surgery.

FTW: I don't think it's nesesarily the media that creates the image. I suspect it's the male mind that creates the image, and the media panders to it. This means that those who adore the idea of being female want to try and live up to this warped ideal. Some simply display signs of autogynophelia ( The love of the female self ), others are just running away from a masculine ideal that they cannot live up to. I have met both types, and they are very confused individuals.

Eternal: I wish you all the success I have had, and hope everything goes well for you. You seem to have your head screwed on, and it's obvious you're not having treatment to live up to some ideal, or to simply extend a fetish. Good luck, and I hope all goes well for you.

Answer 2

The media-generated idea of women is NOT reality. Most real-life women don't dress up like hookers with mini-skirts and makeup and long nails all the time. Most women, if they dress up, do it moderately. Sure, some women "dress to the nines" on occasion, and some clubbers wear their clubbing clothes, but that isn't regular day-to-day life.
The media has created an un-obtainable 'standard' that haunts both female-born and male-born women. (I apologize for my lack of correct terms, I mean no offense)
It is not rejecting femininity to not wear skirts and makeup. A woman can be crazy, yummy feminine while wearing jeans and a t-shirt! It's an internal thing, clothing can't change it.

Answer 3

I am a pre-op trannsexual, and I am basically a tomboy, although not quite to the extreme of no shaving or anything. I don't feel bothered by women who don't explore some aspects of their feminity, because in this day and age feminity includes alot more than it used to, and it is possible to not wear makeup or skirts and still be feminine. My problem is more with those who feel I should act or dress a certain way, and because of this I could never tell someone that they should act in a certain way, because people are people, not sterotypes that have to be lived up to. As long as they like who they are and are happy, I am happy for them.

Answer 4

I don't really see it as taking femininity for granted or rejecting it... Its just living. I have twin babies so I don't have time to shave everyday, I am uncomfortable wearing a skirt while playing with the babies. Also, most men are effing jerk-offs, that could be why we don't want to be with most of them. I hope any transsexuals out there don't have a grudge against us for that stuff, I also hope they can try to find happiness in their lives... thats not easy for any of us.

Answer 5

I don't know what you are looking for with this question, but I feel that you are horribly stereotyping transsexuals. I am 56, transsexual, just retired as a Commissioner of the City and County of San Francisco, and I wear pants AND tennis shoes. Get out of the magazines, and porn, and you will find out that we are just normal women.

Answer 6

so ?!! I don't think that's the women problem it's the transsexuals !! ..what I think whether for female or males they should stick to god's Creation...if god wanted to create them women he would have done it , he didn't create men to suffer and change their sex.....I think going to a shrink would have been much easier ....so as a women, lack of femininity nowadays because women had to go to work and take responsibilities equal to men maybe even more than men , but it doesn't mean that all men like this ... if a man wants his wife or girlfriend acts feminine then let her feel feminine and that man are responsible for her... a man can change his woman to what ever he want ...and let me tell you something look around you and tell me how many men around you taking their masculine for granted hmmmm?!! most of them?!! so if a man doesn't want to be with transsexual ..its not because of women taking their famine as granted because men take their masculine for granted ...THEY WANT TO BE WITH A REAL WOMAN..and you know whats bothers me more u even are bothered from something you were a reason for it or had something to do with it, and now you are complaining...women should be a women and a man should be a man , real woman and real man