Why wouldn't a man marry a woman after 6 years together and 15 years of friendship??

Question

I have been with my boyfriend since october of 2001. We grew up together and were best friends before we got together. This relationship should be so easy but it has been the most trying. He keeps telling me I need to fix things about myself that he can't deal with. I think that he just really not that in love with me. We have been though alot together. Why is it this hard??

You know what never mind. Oh yeah Colleen. You don't know me. So I am sure you are a closed minded individual who knows NOTHING about relationships. However if your pic is blurred that only means one thing. You probably don't have a relationship and your lonely and taking out your anger on anyone that is in your way. Thanks for all the answers from everyone else.

Yes we do live together. We own a house. And we are pretty happy in comparison to other couples we know. We bicker every once in a while but doesn't every couple?? I could be jumping the gun. I DO have that lil girl fantasy about getting married. I have never been married and he has. He got burned. That may be my answer right there!!

Answer 1

The guy has a problem with comittment. Has he been hurt in the past by a woman? What kind of marriage did his parents have? Try concentrating on your own interests for awhile- whatever they may be. Maybe even take a trip with a girlfriend. In the meantime when you do see or talk to the guy- say nothing about marriage. Just concentrate on having a good time together- keeping things light.

However-Set a time limit in your own mind- write it down somehere. If things haven't changed by then - sit down and talk to the guy. Tell him what your needs are and how they aren't being met so you re thinking about moving on. Then do so if necessary.

I'm not a big Dr. Laura Sclesinger fan but she would advise you to stop sleeping with the guy, if you are. She may be on to something there- the old 'why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?' thing.

There is no easy answer to this but I do empathize with you. I wish you the best.

Answer 2

You're asking why won't he marry you, but you're not even engaged. In fact, you're not even in a very stable relationship. It's a good thing he hasn't married you yet!

You have high expectations that probably come from a princess wedding fairy tale that you've had running in your mind (I'm not dissing you, this is normal for women!). Unfortunately, he is not prince charming, you will not get married any time soon.

Get that out of your mind, forget that you've been together for 6 years, and ask yourself if you really truly like being in this relationship or not. Then ask yourself he really truly likes being in this relationship. Why does he want to "fix" you, and are they things that you should be fixing or excuses he's making because you're pressuring him about marriage and "forever?"

Tough questions, I know, but you have to think about that kind of stuff when you're so unsure that you have to ask the internet relationship questions.

Answer 3

That's a long time - he obviously just doesn't want to get married. If you are living together, he is not in need of or wants marriage, because he is getting what he wants/needs. If you are just dating, then there is something definitely wrong. If you are not willing to bend and change the things he wants, then you should have been gone long before now. Of course, it's hard, but you have seemingly given him enough time...

Answer 4

Because, statistically speaking, 6 months after marrying you'll start having problems you never viewed as problems before. 2 years from now, you'll begin feeling betrayed and looking for ways of venting your frustrations outside of your partner. If it lasts another year, one or both of you will either cheat or seek separation en route to divorce, which all could have been avoided by simply enjoying the life you have together presently and not looking to alter what works fine as it is. Being single isn't for everybody, but neither is marriage...and remember: love and sex are natural occurances in all the animal world; marriage was created by priests as a means of taxation!

Answer 5

You don't need to change a thing about you. If he isn't going to love you for what and who you are then you go out there and find somebody who will. You deserve better than that. I know it would be hard to get over but you need to be with someone who can love you as you.

Answer 6

love shouldn't be hard a relationship shouldn't be trying. there are a lot of things in life that are hard but love isn't one of them when you find the right person love should just come naturally. you want to love and do things for each other you want to make one another happy. so my suggestion is to break it off. you shuoldn't have to "fix" yourself for anyone
good luck

Answer 7

"Why wouldn't a man marry a woman after 6 years together and 15 years of friendship??" You mean it's not obvious? Because he doesn't WANT to get married...YOU'RE the one making it hard.

Answer 8

your boyfriend is not sure of himself!. talk to him plainly and make him to marry you at the earliest. it is also possible that he is playing a psychological-game with you as he is definite that you are attached to him deeply. play tough and let him settle the things as early as possible.
life is full of surprises also. be mentally prepared for serious
turns too. wish evrything happens as you like it to be.

Answer 9

sounds like he might be using you........for the obvious and keeping you on a string by telling you that you have problems until he finds something better. I don't think he is in love with you.

Answer 10

make your self unavailable and see if he comes running, if not he's just hanging around . also , sounds like he's putting you down . LOVE CREATES IT NEVER DESTROYS!!!