a while back i wrote a letter to this girl im friends with, telling her that i have feelings for her. looking back, the letter was a trainreck, i was pretty much praising the ground she walks on (dont think there was hardly any 'confidence' in the letter at all) she said that she dosnt want to risk our friendship. ive gotten over it, but now i can tell theres an uneasiness between us. shes a really good friend i dont want to lose her, shes really nice, we used to be practically crying when we hung out we make each other laugh so much. if friendship is all i can have w/ her id be glad to have it, but idk if i ruined that. should i just not say anything and hope that time will fix everything, or should i tell her somthing like 'i didnt mean to put u on the spot like that i hope we can just make everything the way it was before'? idk what to do! any and all advice will be greatly appreciated, thanks.
also fyi it was about a month ago i gave her the letter, weve been friends for about 3yrs
2007-02-11 17:09:45 · 11 answers · asked by somedude 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you feel the friendship is that important you have no choice but to sit down and talk with her.... Women like to clear the air, no matter what the outcome or what the problem is.... Be honest with her and tell her what you feel about it all..... Tell her how important the friendship is to you and what it means and how you HOPE she can over look your slip of the pen and give you another chance at the friendship thing..... dont be so hard on urself.... it might be awkward and disturbing for you both, but if you realy feel that strong about it , she will know it and will work thru it............. God bless
2007-02-11 17:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey there...i have the same exact problem...and it hurts like hell. I've been friends with this guy for 10 years and well...he asked me out one day and we started dating...i moved and things changed..we broke up but we said we'd still be friends...like we always were. I still find it hard to talk to him normally, its wierd because im afraid that he might take some things a different way. Like they contain second meanings yknow? But yeah, we moved on..had new loves...but the uneasiness was still there. Obviously getting with someone else didnt help. So what now you ask? All i can say is act normal, forget that time in history and carry on like nothing ever happened. Dont ever feel insecure because you think She feels the same way. Just do your own thing and be the friend that she once knew. You never know, maybe that would make things easier for her and make her feel better. There are many possibilities, but for both your sakes, just be normal and treat her how you always did. Im doing that right now and slowly with every passing day, im forgetting the awkwardness. Its hard to forget and carry on like nothing happened, but for the sake of friendship, its worth a try.
2007-02-12 01:22:20 · answer #2 · answered by im violet <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just simply tell her honestly what you basically said here. let her know the letter was mainly your inner feelings but you are perfectly capable of remaining within the same friendship status as it has been. Add that a very close friendship should mean that two friends should be able to let each other know how they feel without letting those feelings get in the way of the friendship. That's what trust is all about. You were throwing full trust in her to know she has someone who cares about her on all levels. If you didn't tread on your inner feelings before you are still fully capable of continuing to do so.
2007-02-12 01:18:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely tell her that you value her friendship and that after three years of such strong bond, you hope a letter you regret writing doesn't hinder your friendship.
FYI: I have a male friend who claims he is perfectly fine being friends with me but it's weird, he's so into "me" like he worships everything about me and it's really a drain because I only like him as a friend so do be sure you just want to be friends and save this friendship. (Don't be a parasite)..lol..
Good Luck
2007-02-12 01:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, grow up. maybe u should tell her what you've written here.especially shes a really good friend i dont want to lose her, shes really nice, we used to be practically crying when we hung out we make each other laugh so much. if friendship is all i can have w/ her id be glad to have it, but idk if i ruined that.
Say something at least. solves probelm easier quicker and a lot more efficent
2007-02-12 02:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by Sunrise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try to talk to her and explain to here that you didn't mean to put her on the spot like that and tell her about your feelings and what you were thinking at the time you wrote the letter and hopefully she will see and understand why...Good luck
2007-02-12 01:32:47 · answer #6 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the older you get th more and more you will relize whn the say every action has a reaction is true in everyway of life once you do something you can never go back, this is sad to say. and i wish it wasnt true but no matter what you say to this girl she knows you lik her and if she doesnt feel the same way she might act a little funny
but just keep being you and show her you havent changed and if she still acts funny just leave her alone she will come around one day
2007-02-12 01:24:25 · answer #7 · answered by comacati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matt, history is something that can't really be changed. Also, you can't "make" another think about you a certain way (as in loving you or liking you or hating you). Everybody controls how they feel about things, about people and about themselves. So, you start with feeling good about yourself. Nobody can take that away from you. Honor yourself. Learn to love and respect yourself, to accept yourself as you are, without judgment. Then you will find that your friends will accept you as you are and won't try to change you. Be honorable to yourself and you will honor others by the way you act. Tell her this. And be honorable with her. Good luck.
2007-02-12 01:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume she's a teenager? If so, just don't say anything, shes only got an attention span of about 12 seconds. She'll forget all about it before Gilmore Girls is over.
2007-02-12 01:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by paulie_biggs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
smile mr/ be cool talk and pray and hope she understand ya heart have a heart to heart talk
2007-02-12 01:16:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋