We've been married for about 4 years. We get along well. My wife really wants to have a baby asap. I don't want to have a baby, especially mine because I believe I have a bad gene (3 out of 5 males in our family have moderate to severe schizophrenia). After seeing a TV program on "60 minutes" regarding fertility clinic a while back we've discussed about going there and getting an anonymous doner sperm. Is this a good idea? If so what is a good fertility clinic in Southern California?
2007-02-11 16:55:38 · 7 answers · asked by ocean 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I have had 5 kids, 2 mine & 3 for my friends that could not have children. Those 3 kids were from a sperm donor. The father was not wanting to parent as much as the other but loved their spouse and so wanted to provide this family for them so he went along with it. He loved kids but was scared to do it because he did not want to have a child go thru a similar upbringing as their own. This sounds similar with you as I cannot see a man that does not want to have a baby do so, as you stated, unless deep down you did like chidren. A baby will change everything, it will be the hardest thing you'll ever go thru but also the most rewarding.
My friends had to have a sperm donor because the father contracted HIV from tainted blood during a blood transfusion. They chose the qualities they wanted, physical, personal interests, and intellectual and go to pick their donor as a couple. They kinda "ordered" some of their baby's traits. They had the babies and are thrilled because those genetic qualities came from a person that had perfect health and high intelligence. Their kids are healthy and intelligent (and somehow don't have the biological parents allergies either like most of the family does). They have above normal intelligence (I understand the donor was a genius with his IQ) and has no idea that they are not biologically from both parents... and why should they. I am all for it. I have been there, done that with them. The actual procedure itself feels just like a regular ob/gyn annual exam as well for implanting. Just be careful how many they put in though. They put 4 in me and all 4 took. 1 did not make it and I miscarried that one and was remarkably able to carry the other 3 babies. Most doctors say try implanting 3 as maybe 1 will take, but don't let them put too many in at once.
For a donor company call and ask a surrogacy company who they might use as they typically are very stringent and picky whom they'll work with in S. CA
For the actual process of getting pregnant I went to a man that was awarded for his work in IVF in the La Jolla area of San Diego, CA. His is the Medical Director there, and quite good. His name is David B. Smotrich and he is at La Jolla IVF. Their number is 858-558-2221 or 888-508-2221. You can also reach them at www.lajollaivf.com They may also have some ideas for donors.
2007-02-11 17:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by Desiree M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its at all a bad idea. If you want children and are afraid that your sperm is "damaged", then why not? You will love the baby all the same. It will be yours, even though the sperm is not yours. I don't live in CA or I would recommend a clinic, but I can say that having kids would be the most satisfying and enjoyable(most of the time!) experience you will ever have. I say go for it, but only if you really want children. If she wants them but you don't, and you do it for her anyway, you might resent her in the end. Just make sure you really do want children before you take that step, but I say go for it! Good luck!
2007-02-11 17:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by mommasquarepants 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOO!
I am a female and i think it is a very bad idea, other than the experience that baby will NOT be your baby. If she wants a baby you should go to a doctor and now they have gene therapy and they can select a "good" sperm from you with the "good" genes they then can insert that into your wife and that will be YOUR baby! If that is out of your price range tell her to adopt there are many lonely children out there deprived of loving and caring parents just waiting for you!
2007-02-12 10:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by samee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mmm uncertain you may desire to speak on your spouse approximately this. apparently such as you actual prefer extra infants. turning out to be a sperm doner ought to be finished for the suited motives i.e to help a childless couple. in case you prefer yet another baby your self would it not no longer difficulty you which you had no way of understanding in the adventure that your baby became ok, happy etc?
2016-09-29 00:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your family doctor for a referral to a fertility clinic. Then you will know its a reputable place.
2007-02-12 00:21:52 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should talk about it. if you love her and if thats what she wants then maybe you should consider it. or go to a doctor and ask about the bad gene thing; find out what your chances are that your baby might have the same disease.but what ever you decide, love that baby(yours or not) as if it were your own.
2007-02-11 17:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are real smart i think. i have schizophrenia in my family and its scary a sperm donor only means you care about your child i say go for it. best of luck hope this helps?
2007-02-11 23:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by chris w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋