How to make your husband appreciate u?

Question

I've been married for 16 yrs. w/2 kids. I used to B**** about everything. A few yrs ago I decided to make a change.I picked my battles and wanted to be a better person.Now I love to do anything that makes some1 smile.My husband say's I let people walk all over me.No matter what I do for him he will NOT say please or thanku! he thinks I'm over reacting.I love to do things for him to make him happy but he nevers say's thanks. He will never say ""would u" or "could u" it's always-hey! get this....I seen on t.v that the most common age for woman to cheat is between 35-45.and the most common reason it for appreciation and affection.I can understand that! I'm not gonna cheat or anything but I see the reason it happens.So how can I make him understand how important it is to be appreciated for the things I do for him? He thinks it's no big deal the way he is. Thanks!!

Answer 1

When someone expects but never acknowledges or appreciates the nice things you do, you need to stop doing them. When it no longer makes you feel good to give then it's time to stop. And you will get to that point. Who wants to keep giving to someone that wont give back. Not even a thank you. Not me. It took me a long time to get to that point in my relationship, But, I got to where it hurt too much to give anymore.

Answer 2

Maybe you do need to stop doing a few little things for him that you usually do and see how that affects things. I understand that some things just have to be done, but maybe pick a few small things that can be neglected and that won't annoy you if they don't get done by someone else. Maybe do something funny like make the same meal for dinner every single night. Something boring. He then might understand the effort that goes into selecting and cooking a meal each night. I understand your male vs female dilemma and it's so frustrating. Good luck!

Answer 3

ummm you are married to an unappreciative jerk. He sounds like a common piece of trash, but hey you MARRIED him....and had his kids so you must have known what you were getting in to.

Just because you are doing things different doesn't mean he should have to.

I would drop the effort for him and focus on making yourself happy as well as your kids. If you have some kind of Mother Theresa thing going on-go volunteer at a hospital or old folks home. Yo uwill be rewarded for your efforts adn care a thousand times over by smiling faces and heartfelt thank yous.

I would start practicing saying "Get it your damn self" or "What do I look like? A Maid?" or "I raise your punk kids, what more do you want from me?" or "Get your lazy *** up and get it your self" or maybe stop cooking, cleaning, and kissing ***.

Answer 4

just as I assumed...another case of what women don't know about men. Lots of girls saying leave him, and lots of guys saying stop being weak. Both in this case both are wrong.
First you need to know what stresses your hubby is under right now. He is at the age when he can see the end of his career. He has probably moved from worker bee to management at work, and has children quickly reaching college age. You may think that you are in a good financial situation now, but in fact with college costs, and the looming of retirement, he is under more stress than ever.

Work has to be his primary goal right now, because we all know that business owners love to trade wisdom for cheap wages. Also, the aspect of getting a new job and starting over now is flat out terrifing. His only stable environment could be you, and the strong knowledge that you understand him and stroke his ego to keep him happy, at home. Remember, men are even more likely to stray at this age than women. That is why we buy things like corvettes, and harleys, to remember that we are men, and we can still compete, in a much more relavent way than the young strong men we manage.

Now you really need to tell him that you want to be appreciated, he will change in a possitive way. just like you stopped nagging, he will also see that his actions hurt you.

Never stop stroking his ego!!! If you do, you will open the door to an unfaithful man, garanteed to stray. I know it will feel unfair, but you must know, being married for so long, how unnatural it is for a man to stay with a woman for more than 7 or 10 years. The only hope a long and fruitful marrage has, is in the wisdom of a good woman to properly stroke the ego of her man.

Answer 5

Every woman that has been or is married knows this story !!!! And I feel for ya girl !!! Been there and NOT heard this *thank you *..... but, it changed !! There is hope !! I sat my husband down and just put it all out there...... Laid it on the line..... Told him how the cow ate the cabbage !! OLD southern saying there !!!!! I just flat told him to learn some common manners or to just do it all himself...... I am not a maid, slave or robot !!!!! I am his WIFE !!!!!!!! Sometimes we wives just have to get tough and say what we feel and want !!! Men do NOT get what we are inside and never will.... they are not mind readers and forbid they should ever *think* we are smarter than them !! ROFL !!! When it comes to men I always suggest going out and buying a book about training puppies !!!!!!! TRUE !!!!! Read it and adjust it to him...... I works wonders......... LOL......... God bless

Answer 6

The problem is he is taking you for granted.

This happens when someone has been around in someone's life for a long time. People begin to not notice what the other person does and thinks they will always be around and tend not to be as appriciative as they used to. How to solve this I don't know.

Answer 7

I just have to say this.... read these two books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage"

If you need to talk, I am opened for discussion via email.

Answer 8

Talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel, he is very comfortable with you and the things you do for him at this point are expected by him. After you talk about and see no change, he will really appreciate you when you leave him with no intention of coming back.

Answer 9

if he doesnt now sweetie he probably isnt going too.. you need to just move on and find someone else or just stay for the staying like many do.. but its not going to work sorry thats marriage and lif3e.

Answer 10

Make him jealous by flirting with someone else.